argument一篇求大神改改哈感激不尽先

李子木 · 发表于 2012-10-13 23:42:28

A recent sales study indicates that consumption of seafood dishes in Bay City restaurants has increased by 30 percent during the past five years. Yet there are no currently operating city restaurants whose specialty is seafood. Moreover, the majority of families in Bay City are two-income families, and a nationwide study has shown that such families eat significantly fewer home-cooked meals than they did a decade ago but at the same time express more concern about healthful eating. Therefore, the new Captain Seafood restaurant that specializes in seafood should be quite popular and profitable.

普渡哥 · 发表于 2012-10-14 02:13:53

That is not always possible in making money when pay for buying house and decorating are hard for us to afford.

when pay for buying....

普渡哥 · 发表于 2012-10-14 02:14:40

感觉作者语法变化很多，很特别，但是有些地方是有语法问题。。

李子木 · 发表于 2012-10-14 16:57:09

哦哦这样啊那请问下，我的的思路什么的有什么需要改进的吗？

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-10-15 00:38:49

It is the author, in this argument, claims that？？？你这是想用强调句吗

First and foremost, the percent of consumption which got a mild boost in the investigation from a recent study in Bay City asfigures is no guarantee of concluding that the number of consumption of seafood dishes indeed increase in past five years. Worryingly, the consumption once may be still so little that cannot become a compelling reason to accept the recommendation.
这种论述是很不够的，你要分析出为什么不对不好出来，然后怎么可以才是对的。
所以你的篇幅很短，因为你没有充分的论述，另外小的语法错误不少，希望先写对短句子，在写长句子

李子木 · 发表于 2012-10-15 16:34:02

好的，找到了，马上就加紧练习哈！谢谢普渡哥和中人

[作文互改] argument一篇求大神改改哈感激不尽先

所属分类: GRE考试

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