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10月13号考试 诚邀大家狠狠拍砖 之前只考18的孩子伤不起啊

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楼主
发表于 2012-10-8 14:21:27 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
colleges or universities should offer students a better job preparation before they start working.
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In response to the issue at hand whether colleges or universities should offer students a better job preparation before they start working. Some people may argue that colleges or universities should offer students a better job preparation.But some other persons might refer that colleges or universities shouldn’t offer the job preparation before they start working. From my own perspective, I would probably follow the former one. My point of view, on the whole, involves the fundamental and deep discussions as follows.
First of all, the top of my list of my viewpoints is that a better job preparation from the colleges makes students more easier enter into a company. Both common sense and our experiences from our daily life informs us that the experience of working, the GPA, the resume and the experience of publishing papers are considerably conserned when seeking for a job. Therefore, whether the universities offer students a better preparation, including reviewing the resume, providing oppotunities for students to work with others and guiding the suggestions of publishing papers, is a key factor for students to search for a job. In these situations, hence, it’s partially indisputalbe that colleges or universitis offering students a better job preparation is essential.
In addition, an equally essential and compelling argument that deserves people’s attention is that offering students a better job preparation attracts more students to join in this colleges. One can only need to look at that whether the percentage of students successfully searching a job is high is a key aspect when they considering about choosing a unversity. If a university offer students a better job preparation, the rate of students successfully seeking a jobs is high, and the ratio of students working in famous companies is high, the more students want to choose this university.
Admittedly, it is probablly true that in some conditions universitis should put many efforts to improve their education skills. This alone doesn’t constitute a sufficient support to claim that colleges shouldn’t offer a better job preparation for students before they start working. As a matter of fact, these cases are too specific and hence too weak to strengthen this conclusion. When the advantages and disvantages are carefully examined, the more striking conclusion is apparent that universities should offer students a better job preparation before start working.
Above all, although some people may still remain unconvinced. The factors and reasons I have analyzed could at least make them more ware of various dimensions of the issue under discussion.There is little doubt that more more people come to realize that colleges and universities should offer students a better job preparation before start working.

希望大家多给我指导指导,真不知道作文这么写行不行, 欢迎大家狠批!!
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沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2012-10-9 00:22:57 | 只看该作者
有木有人啊 大家进来看一下呗
板凳
发表于 2012-10-11 23:26:21 | 只看该作者
模板痕迹太重了!
First of all, the top of my list of my viewpoints is that 。。。
In addition, an equally essential and compelling argument。。。
语义重复 自己整理模板的时候要注意到啊!
而且文章里面有好多粗心错 写完文章请留3-5min修改 避免小错
From my own perspective, I would probably follow the former one.
My point of view, on the whole, involves the fundamental and deep discussions as follows.
你的模板太死板了 硬伤
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2012-10-14 19:47:49 | 只看该作者
恩谢谢你提出来,之前打分太低,就套用了一个现成的模板,现在看来是不行了,我一定好好修改!!感谢你!!希望你以后多帮我改改作文
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