9.23战友江湖笑同学的作文练习贴，欢迎拍砖！

江湖笑 · 发表于 2012-8-16 22:37:57

先发个TPO2的综合写作润润口：

In this lecture, the professor refuted the opinion from the reading passage by saying that team work may not be beneficial to a company.

First ofall, the passage states that with more knowledge, expertise, skills, and resources than any individual member can have, a group is likely to move onquickly to achieve their goal. However, the professor said that team work maynot move as quickly as the passage states because one decision made by a groupwill go through more consensus and meetings before it’s viable.

Second, the passage hold a view that, because of the wider range of knowledge of a team and the separating of responsibility, more creative and risky decisions or solutions is more easily to be made. The professor, however, thought that in many occasions, some influencers in a group may have too much impact on the team so that a lot of helpful or warning suggestions made by other team members might be ignored.

Third, the passage puts that group member can feel very rewarding and recognized because they can exert their own idea on the team and the results will also be far better than what they get when working alone. According to the professor, however, team worker, in most of time, will have little morale, which is justoppsite to the reading passage. The group member

may not contribute to the team, for the reason that they regard the team as a whole, and they are aware that there will be no name one their success.

超级无敌小鹤鹤 · 发表于 2012-8-17 09:03:26

TPO2

In this lecture, the professor refuted the opinion from the reading passage by saying that team work may not be beneficial to a company.(开头部分内容略少，最好阅读和听力材料的观点都明确写出来，eg：The reading passage XXXXX. The professor, however, XXXXX)

First of all, the passage states that with more knowledge, expertise, skills, and resources than any individual member can have, a group is likely to move on more(和前面的more knowledge等等对应) quickly to achieve ~~their~~(its, their前面并没有出现复数的名词，故their无所指，指代a group用单数) goal. However, the professor ~~said~~(says, 本来says和said都可以，但是如果用said，那么你that后面宾语从句的时态就都得跟着用过去时啊，太麻烦，还不如用says好了，其他地方同理) that team work may not move as quickly as the passage states because one decision made by a group ~~will go through more consensus and meetings~~(consensus和meeting不能并列，而且没有many consensus，此句应改为：may take so long to reach consensus and also take many meetings) before it’s viable.

Second, the passage holds a view that, because of the wider range of knowledge of a team and the separating of responsibility, ~~more~~(easily之前也有一个more，前后删去一个) creative and risky decisions or solutions is(are) more easily to be made. The professor, however, ~~thought~~(thinks) that in many occasions, some influencers in a group may have ~~too~~(so) much impact on the team so that a lot of helpful or warning suggestions made by other team members might be ignored.

Third, the passage puts that group member can feel very rewarding and recognized because they can exert their own ideas on the team and the results will also be far better than what they get when working alone. According to the professor, however, team worker, in most of time, will ~~have little morale~~(suffer from low morale，have little morale搭配不妥), which is just ~~oppsite~~(opposite) to the reading passage. The group ~~member~~(members，和后面的they对应) may not contribute to the team, for the reason that they regard the team as a whole, and ~~they are aware that there will be no name one their success~~(这儿你想讲啥？one their success？可改为：they are aware that no name will be named).

文章细节上问题还是比较多，很多语法错误不应该犯，建议在写完之后自己认真读一遍，避免这种简单错误的出现。
结构上总体还可以，但是开头略显简短，建议把听力和阅读的观点都明确说一下。

江湖笑 · 发表于 2012-8-17 12:42:26

谢谢，我再研究研究

江湖笑 · 发表于 2012-8-18 22:24:53

8月18日-综合-TPO16

The reading suggests that there were a lot of problems and limitations about the uncovering and studying acient cultural artifacts in Britain, while, the speaker said that now there is a guidline that has already changed that kind of situation.

First, the author maintains that the rapidly increasing construction projects in Britain leaded by the growth of population particularly since 1950s have destroyed a lot of archaeologically precious artifacts. However, the lecturer said, according to the guidline, before one area can be exploited, that area must be examined by archeaologists and then a plan will be made by archeologists and local government together, and some documents will also be made to conduct the exploiting.

Moreover, the reading passage said that the financial support is a big issue in the past, because all the funds are provided by local government. The lecturer, however, puts that now the funds will be provided by the company exploiting that certain area. So the financial support is far better than the past and it has never been an issue.

Finally, another important point shown in the reading material is that there are not enough careers supplying for archaeologists, but according to the lecturer now all stages in the process of uncovering can provide archeologists career, such as drawing design picture, managing the process, analyzing data, reporting the whole process and so on. So now the number of archeologists in Britain has been the highest compare to the past.

超级无敌小鹤鹤 · 发表于 2012-8-20 12:31:33

你好，以后作文都发到这个帖子好啦~~ 不要每写一次开一个了~~~这样不方便互改的同学找你的作文~~~ 所以我把你那个帖子关了..

fairyfinger · 发表于 2012-8-20 15:37:25

The reading suggests that there were a lot of problems and limitations about the uncovering and studying acient/ancient cultural artifacts in Britain, while, the speaker said that now there is a guidline that has already changed that kind of situation.

First, the author maintains that the rapidly increasing construction projects in Britain leaded by the growth of population particularly since 1950s have destroyed a lot of archaeologically precious artifacts. However, the lecturer said, according to the guidline, before one area can be exploited, that area must be examined by archeaologists and then a plan will be made by archeologists and local government together, and some documents will also be made to conduct the exploiting.

Moreover, the reading passage said that the financial support is a big issue in the past, because all the funds are provided by local government. The lecturer, however, puts that now the funds will be provided by the company exploiting that certain area. So the financial support is far better than the past and it has never been an issue.
这段应该还有一个interesting topics的点吧？

Finally, another important point shown in the reading material is that there are not enough careers supplying（job supply） for archaeologists, but according to the lecturer now all stages in the process of uncovering can provide archeologists career, such as drawing design picture, managing the process, analyzing data, reporting the whole process and so on. So now the number of archeologists （不是人最多，而是职位最多）in Britain has been the highest compare to the past.

楼主除了有些小地方没听到或者有点偏差其他都不错

9.23战友江湖笑同学的作文练习贴，欢迎拍砖！

谢谢！我再好好研究研究

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS

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