Argu 74 两种观点求拍！！！

cakeluv · 发表于 2012-8-1 16:29:06

Argu 74

The presidentof Grove College has recommended that the collegeabandon its century-old tradition of all-female education and begin admittingmen. Pointing to other all-female colleges that experienced an increase inapplications after adopting coeducation, the president argues that coeducationwould lead to a significant increase in applications and enrollment. However,the director of the alumnae association opposes the plan. Arguing thatall-female education is essential to the very identity of the college, thedirector cites annual surveys of incoming students in which these students saythat the school's all-female status was the primary reason they selected Grove.The director also points to a survey of Grove alumnae in which a majority ofrespondents strongly favored keeping the college all female.
Write a responsein which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order todecide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based arereasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help toevaluate the recommendation.

提纲：
1、主席提出其他学校男女合校增加申请，不代表本校也会。地区不同，情况不同。（本校所在地区，好学校多，不一定选本校。而其他地区学校少。）
2、主任用调查结果反驳，有道理，但是在没排除其他可能的情况时，反驳建议无益处。（如incoming students赞成，但students at school反对。另外，本校正在经受经济危机，必须合校增加生源，减轻经济危机。）
3、双方有潜在问题未解决，论据不充分，采取任何一方意见都不一定取得好效果。

正文：
(用时32分钟)(总字数444)
The president of Grove College advocates that this college that is famous of its century-old tradition of all-female education, should abandon this custom and begin admitting male students. His recommendation incurs the opposition from the director of the alumnae association. He opposes this idea with several surveys he conducted among incoming-students and some alumnae. Although their opinions might seem reasonable at first glance, they are, in fact, ill-conceived, and the reasons are stated as follows.

In the first place, the president assumes that some other all-female colleges that experienced an increase in applications after adopting coeducation. Although this is entirely possible in some colleges in other areas, the president does not offer statistics data or valid evidence to support his/her assumption that coeducation would certainly work in the same way in Grove College. It is very likely that students in the area, in where the Grove College locates, have plenty better choices for further education than choose this college, so even if the college changed its enrollment policy and adopted the coeducation, it is still not an attractive reason for those students. And coeducation in Grove would definitely not increase the applications. Hence the arguer’s argument is definitely flawed unless he/she can convince me with more reasonable evidences.

In the second place, the director opposes the president with the surveys which are conducted among some incomingstudents and alumnae. Although the survey would reflect some different opinions toward the change of education way, the director does not rule out some other explanation which can impair these opinions and his argument. It is quite possible that indeed incoming-students would be favor with the all female status, students at school may have different ideas, for them, they would like see the coeducation. On the other hand, the school is possibly undergoing financial crisis and lead to that the president has to change its traditional education way and divert to admit men, in his view, this would increase the application and alleviate the financial problem. And as for this problem, most students or alumnae would not take it into considerate. Thus their rejection is well-intentioned but non-helpful for the future of the school. Without accounting for or ruling out these and other alternative explanations, the director cannot bolster his recommendation.

In sum up, either the argument of president or the director of alumnae association are not based on valid evidence or sound reasoning, neither of which is dispensable for a conclusive argument, thus in order to draw a better conclusion, they have to reason more convincingly, cite evidence that is more persuasive and take every possible consideration into account, or they cannot see the optimistic outcome they originally expected.

cakeluv · 发表于 2012-8-1 16:32:01

不知道能得几分啊？还有怎么提升速度啊？

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-8-1 19:37:11

that is famous of 我觉得一个句子里面连续出现that的时候需要想办法避免了，这里的that完全可以换成which的，然后应当是be famous for 而不是of。
that this college that is famous of its century-old tradition of all-female education, should abandon?? this ??custom and begin admitting male students，也许这句话重新组织下更好，比如，advocate that it should abandon its famous century tradition——all female education， and。。。，尽量简洁，而且句意直接明了，重点突出。
Although their opinions might seem reasonable at first glance, they are, in fact, ill-conceived, and the reasons are stated as follows这句结论性的话最好对instruction中的那个question有个回应，比如说为了建议成立，需要对可能存在的几个问题作出解释，否则便是没有说服力的。

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-8-1 19:37:53

中间只写了两个质疑点，应该是不够的。写的内容有点长，从论述的组织上需要加强。

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-8-1 19:43:18

the president assumes 这里你说是assumes ，那么后面的内容必定是你从题目中推导出来的，也就是说题目中的论据是建立在什么假设基础上，这个假设不是题目已有的而应是你的猜测。

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-8-1 19:45:11

最后这篇文章的分数，应当是不会超过三分吧，继续加油。你需要熟悉各种类型题目常见的逻辑错误，并形成自己的展开和论证模式，速度才可以提高。先不要限时，先把自己该做的做到位做熟练，再限时，否则很惨

cakeluv · 发表于 2012-8-3 11:05:34

十分感谢~~~不到3分……这……我九月就考了……这……555555

[argument] Argu 74 两种观点求拍！！！

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[argument] Argu 74 两种观点 求拍！！！

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[argument] Argu 74 两种观点求拍！！！