新人第一篇Issue 8,求路过各位大神小神狠狠拍啊，小妹在此谢过T T。。。。

celiathanks · 发表于 2012-7-25 22:39:15

8 Claim: In any field—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years.

Reason: The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership.

结论：如商业、政治、教育、政府，在任何领域中的掌权者应该在五年后就让位。

原因：对于任何机构，最可靠的成功途径是通过新领导阶层带来革新。

According to the reason that the surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership, the power should step down after five years. I agree with reason but the speaker's scheme to address the problem go a bit extreme. In my view, we should not restrain the time to a five-year limitation.

In many fields, we usually set up a certain term for the chief executives in order to avoid power abuse. For instance, political leaders are required to relinquish their power after being the top person for settled years. In ancient time, despotic monarchy existing as the main regimen used to caused lethal problem to a dynasty's destruction. When a leader hold the key position for too long, a series of problems will ensue. With no fear to lose his power, the leader will get negative about contemplating a better way to develop the enterprise. Besides, power centralized in the hands of a small minority who almost obtain the tenure for the power, will give the fledgling hopeless motivation to achieve distinction in a big organization. Nonetheless, some people may think the position should not be altered when a company reach a acme under a superb man's leadership. I concede that a heyday will have a lingering positive impact on the steadiness of a power, but it just like the climate, storms will follow a sunny day, without new blood injecting into the leading department, the enterprise's scenario to success may pave the way for an unpredictable dilemma.

From another reason, exercising such a flexible leader-chosen system will lead to an optimistic attitude to the new persons. It not only arouse a competition among the younger but also sparkle the creative ideas, otherwise an ossified mind hinder the development of a company, The young can gain more opportunities and perform duties in a more efficient way so that they can be promoted quicker. While a severe problem should also arouse our awareness that seeking profits of higher position will drive people to conglomerate out of same interest. Some obsequious tactics may also be applied which would ruin the pure atmosphere devastatingly especially in academic area. Politicians will strain every nerve to win prestige from the public by exaggerating his blueprint for a city or just weave a specious lie . To a certain degree,the paper plagiary's secret booming in many universities can be attributed to a strong desire for the attainable position. From another perspective, we should admit that a tenure professor or chairman of a financial institute will assure a steady environment for developing in the long run.

Having recognized that a regulated period for the chairman's leading would hamper the enterprise's progress, we should take the discrepancy among situations into consideration. If the term is fixed on five years, a mediocre leader will waste the precious time while a competent newcomer will find it a short time to run a big enterprise on the right track. Five years will result in halfway policies in that the decision makers are prone to construct projects which could acquire acclamation within sight. As a consequence, a sensible and undogmatic method must be settled to ensure a capable person's ruling with stamina and passion.

In a nutshell, no matter what field it be, revitalization is significant in its boosting. Power should not be affiliated to one person without a proper time limit and how to figure out the most rational transfer of power need a demanding work. Moreover, when a brilliant leader appears, a well-built system once established, it must contains an excellent method to maintain a prominent leader's leadership by selecting elite.

提纲主旨应该改革，但是任期不一定是五年

1 We often settle a certain term for leader to prevent power abuse.

Power are gripped in the hands of a small minority will cause destruction.

2 Without a settle term, the fledgling will sparkle less creative ideas.But if higher position are attainable, some decadent phenomenon will appear.

3 We should design a flexible scenario for an organization's development and should not be trapped in dogma.

普渡哥 · 发表于 2012-7-26 10:23:23

I agree with reason but the speaker's scheme to address the problem go a bit extreme.

这句话有很多语法问题。

普渡哥 · 发表于 2012-7-26 10:23:56

no matter what field it be, 最后一段里的，为什么不用is 而用be?

普渡哥 · 发表于 2012-7-26 10:24:19

语法错误很多，显得不够精致。应该每天来写一篇。

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-7-26 10:33:16

主旨应该改革，但是任期不一定是五年，这句话是有问题的，题目的reason是强调革新需要通过更新领导人才可以，重心是要不要更新，而不是改革。
在第二三段中你论述了换领导的必要性，但你也要对可能的反对意见也就是说如果不换是不是一定不好做出一个回应（毕竟很多成功的案例也证明一个领导者长期身居高位也没什么不好，比如乔布斯等）
再就是，在论述中最好不要过多的个人主观上的认为，最好辅以例子分析来说明。
关于这个题目，还有一点就是，这个理由是不是一定成立的，任何机构的成功靠的最重要的一定是更新领导层吗？
另外问下：你写作文的时候查字典没？

celiathanks · 发表于 2012-7-26 21:52:45

谢谢普渡哥和竹林哥的教诲T T。。。最近刚开始写作文，我写的时候花了还挺长时间的，查字典了。。。但写完没精改直接发上来了。。一直以来议论文都是弱项啊，举例子现在正在学习中，我再好好把结构组织下，改好了发上来~谢谢亲们的指正~

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-7-26 21:58:18

嗯，查字典不要成为习惯，尽可能以自己的真实积累来写，写完了修改的时候再去通过查字典好好斟酌。加油！

[作文互改] 新人第一篇Issue 8,求路过各位大神小神狠狠拍啊，小妹在此谢过T T。。。。

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