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[作文互改] 求拍,Argument 37!

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楼主
发表于 2012-5-15 10:09:21 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
Argument 37 题目:
Argumetnt 34:
The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.

"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."
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Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
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提纲:
1. 个人娱乐活动不一定要用公司的网络,有可能用自己的电脑、手机,以及这些活动可能不一定是在线的,或者仅仅是和其他同事聊天。
2. 没有个人娱乐活动不一定能使员工效率增加以及提升公司受益。
3. 监视公司网络有侵犯隐私的嫌疑。
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时间 33    字数 527
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The vice president of human resources at Climpson recommended that Climpson should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use, since it will prohibit employees from spending working hours on personal or recreational activities, and therefore improve the company's productivity. The suggestion and the reasons seems good, however, there are many flaws in this argument, which will weaken the argument a lot and make the recommendation unconvincing.

In the first place, the author says that the electronic monitoring of clerks' Internet use will reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities. The vice president assumes that personal or recreational activities include online-activities only. But this assumption doesn't work. There is a big chance that most of the employees in Climpson who waste their working hours play games on their own computers which are not connected through company's Internet or they may play some offline games. And even employees may just like to chat with others and kill the time by their cell phones or PDAs. In this way, a ban of using company's Internet of personal or recreational activities makes no sense. To strengthen the argument, the author has to provide more evidence showing that most of the clerks fulfill their personal activities only through company's Internet.

In addition, the vice president also asserts that if personal activities are banned, the employees' productivity and the company's overall profits are definitely improved. We have to consider the probability that employees do some recreational activities, and by doing these in a little period can employees get relaxed and have a more energetic enthusiasm to fulfill their works at the company. And as a consequence, the ban of those activities will lead to employees' unsatisfied mood and conversely be less productive. The author has to provide evidence indicating that if those activities are prohibited, the productivity of clerks will be truly improved and the company's profits will mount; otherwise, the suggestion is unreasonable.

Finally, granted that the assumptions the author based on is reasonable, nevertheless, the author failed to consider other bad effects of implementing this monitoring mechanism. This monitoring of employees' Internet is likely to break the law which is set to protect person's privacy. Personal and recreational activities are private activities that the company doesn't have the right to know and the will of person's doing those private affairs shouldn't be checked by the company. In this way, the author's suggestion can be illegal to some extent. So the author has to tell us that this prohibition is legal and will not render a lawsuit or convince the readers of the fact that this monitoring system is just used to protect whether the employees are visiting some of the game or shopping website which doesn't provide information about their specific activities.

To sum up, the vice president's recommendation is seemingly effective. But some of the assumptions it based on is tenuous. To make the argument more convincing and persuasive, the author has to add much more evidence to convince the president of adopting his advice. Only by strengthen his assumptions can the suggestion be in the incubation period and contribute to the success of Climpson.
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沙发
发表于 2012-5-15 10:55:59 | 只看该作者
理由找的不是特别好。在美国的公司一般不允许用自己的电脑。公司网络监控不涉及侵权行为,很多公司都有。
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-15 11:19:31 | 只看该作者
哦,好吧,这个真不知道。。。。。那就改成装了监控程序可能会影响其他工作程序的正常工作?
地板
发表于 2012-5-15 20:25:13 | 只看该作者
嗯。你还可以写一点的是公司可以选择更好地提高员工工作效率的办法,题目的这种也许不是最好的。
5#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-15 20:36:41 | 只看该作者
谢谢竹林指点
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