5.27 issue 6+提纲不知道有木有进步，想求问几个问题

mazixiefeng · 发表于 2012-5-19 00:07:31

题目：
6. A nation shouldrequire all of its students to study the same national curriculum until theyenter college.
国家应该要求所有学生在上大学之前都学习全国统一的课程。
Write a response in which you discuss the extent towhich you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoningfor the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describespecific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would notbe advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

字数 560，时间1h 写的好慢
提纲
首段：分别列出下面3个主题段的中心
2段：the same nationalcurriculum is for basic knowledge
3段：same curriculum教授文理科各个基础方面，可以帮助找到兴趣，可以丰富生活，在大学的时候主要专注专业所以不好发现其他方面的兴趣
4段：这个民族的素质提高了，虽然相同的课程不适合不同的学生但是相同的课程只是为了让学生获得相同的知识

Is there a necessity for a nation torequire every student to study the same national curriculum before they go tocollege? I do advocate that it is beneficial for student to grow up. First thisnational curriculum is the basic class for higher course when student go to theuniversity. Next, providing the same national curriculum about all kinds ofscience and art is the wonderful way for students to find their own interest.Additionally, under such requirement more people would be passed on basicknowledge and it would leave less ill-bred people.

The recommendation clearly suggests thesame national class which is basic for high class in the college. First look atthe Math which is the basic class that we take before we enter into university.How could a student major in Computer Science learn to design algorithm for thesoftware as well as hardware if he has little knowledge for Math? And withoutbasic knowledge for Math how would an accounting student be good at his major.The same national curriculum is designed to not only pass on knowledge tostudents, but also help students acquire the method that they would use intheir college or even later life to absorb what they want. Thus if studentshaven't got the same national curriculum, they would have trouble when theyenter college for the little basic knowledge and method they know.

The same national curriculum would containall aspect of science and art which might help students to develop their owninterest or find their hobby. After students enter into college, they mighttrap into one major or one side so that they could not experience class whose purposeis to pass on basic skill for students to develop their interest into onesubject. So, the hobby which might get from this curriculum would make theirspare time colorful. For example, my uncle is a soft-engineer and he also enjoyspainting. The first time that he found himself keen on drawing is in the highschool that takes national curriculum. And now after work, painting from lifeis one kind of way to have a leisure time. Obviously, students can gain what wereally interest in when they take such national curriculum.

In addition, the nation would be benefitfrom this requirement that students study the same national curriculum for morepeople would be educated. It costs less to have the same curriculum amongmillions of students than a wide variety of curriculum designed for eachstudent. Someone might think that students not be educated in the way thatsuitable for him to grow up. Some students might be good at learning and he canfollow teacher and someone would think teacher not explain the formula ordefinition clearly and he better learn on his own. Actually having the samenational curriculum is to have the same test book and teacher can impart on thesame knowledge in different way which suits different kind of students.Students learn this through their own approach but what the formula they gainis the same.

All in all, it is the basic skill that thestudent should gain before they enter college and it is the same nationalcurriculum that could provide such skill for students. Such basic knowledge andmethod would help them to study different major in the college.

想问版大几个问题：1'开头分别列出观点是因为看了范文是这样的，不知道这样可不可以
2'结尾感觉写不好，但是看了看范文，还是想不出怎么的结尾才是点睛之笔。
3'语句都是四六级可能还不到的水准，虽然在积累，但是感觉短短还剩8天貌似木有太好的方法提高？
4'第四段既写了正面又加入了方面是不是会有点偏呢？这种写’两面‘的如果支持正面，是不是只能拿反面让步，然后转折写正面？还是说可以直接写反面的缺点。不太写得好两面

淡淡飞过 · 发表于 2012-5-19 00:33:44

To be honest, America never has a single national curriculum. They are basically against this point of view. In their eyes, only China uses this kind of curriculum and they do not agree with it.

You'd better rewrite your outline if you want to come here. I don't mean American way is the best, but as far as I know, it is not a good educational policy--using a single national curriculum.

You'd better disagree with this viewpoint and at the same time say something good about it.

I hope it makes sense to you.

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-5-19 01:24:08

先回答你的几个问题吧
1.这样是可以的，但务必精简，第一段不是论证，只是引出下文，给一个提示的意思就好，就是说你是怎么考虑的。
2.这个问题不好回答，皆为一般说要有力度，我看就是不要短也不要长，不是上文的简单综合，而应该有小的提升。
3.语言时间不够了，就保证写对每一个句子吧，不烦语法错误，不用错单词
4.我建议这篇Issue最好写正反形式或者让步形式的，然后有一个综合点的看法或者态度。
你谈了这么多的national curriculum的好处，倒数第二段需要写一点怎么回避它的不利的手段

mabodx · 发表于 2012-5-19 08:51:49

Thank you for your suggestion.
I see the official 5 score article in OG. Although it shows some of the idea disagreeing with the same national curriculum, but most of the author's arguments show the advantage of the same national curriculum. So I choose the positive sides.Can I choose the positive side which is my main point and talk about the negative side ,but the main idea is still positive. Could I stucture my argument in this way?

mabodx · 发表于 2012-5-19 08:55:40

谢谢版大。
二楼的那个人建议不要我这样支持正面，是不是如果我两面写的话，中心也应该放在反面上，也就是反对全国统一课程？写正面只是为了烘托反面。

二楼说支持统一课程不符合美国观点，这种不符合美国思想的观点是不是尽量还是不要写？

淡淡飞过 · 发表于 2012-5-19 09:10:00

Definitely.

I just stated my opinion.

淡淡飞过 · 发表于 2012-5-19 09:12:30

Thank you for your suggestion.
I see the official 5 score article in OG. Although it shows some of the idea disagreeing with the same national curriculum, but most of the author's arguments show the advantage of the same national curriculum. So I choose the positive sides.Can I choose the positive side which is my main point and talk about the negative side ,but the main idea is still positive. Could I stucture my argument in this way?

-- by 会员 mabodx (2012/5/19 8:51:49)

Thank you for your information. I really didn't read the good articles in OG. I know it now.

[作文互改] 5.27 issue 6+提纲不知道有木有进步，想求问几个问题

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