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[作文互改] 第一次写作文题,求指导求拍,死里拍

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楼主
发表于 2012-5-8 20:35:44 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
issue:as people more and more rely on technology to solve problem,the ability of human to think for themselves will surely deteriorate


      A controversy raised when we concern about whether the ability of humans to think for themselves will deteriorate as people rely more and more on technology to solve problems or not. The speaker claims that heavily depending on technology definitely corrodes the ability of thinking. But everything has two sides, one,considering a debate, can not assert a absolutely advantage over another. Sometime whether or not one can benefit from it significantly rely on how one uses it.  Although I concede,in some situation, it is technology that erodes the capability of thinking. In general I strongly hold the viewpoint that technology benefit us and even promote the ability of thinking rather than deteriorate.
       
Admittedly, in certain filed of our life, technology makes things easy of use and, In this way, it deprives us the ability of thinking of ourselves. For supporting example one need look no far than calculator. It is a universal phenomenon in almost junior, senior schools that students use the calculator on their phones to do calculations which is even as simple as a add of five and eighteen. Bringing a great convenience to our life considerably,however, calculators indeed deprive us the ability of doing the calculation only with our mind.
     
 However, since the technology boom after industry revolution, more and more fantastic inventions and discoveries have emerged in endlessly. The reason of this is in cord with my opinion------technology benefit us and even promote the ability of thinking rather than deteriorate. Undoubtedly, the application of technology such like washing machine, microwave oven, drier and so forth, all of these fancy machine emancipate us from the burdensome housework, giving us more time to think and tackle other problems like the Radom walk of stock price which might reveal a regulation of the capital market.

A more striking example,one may mention in science filed. In many subject, development always achieve step by step, which means a new breakthrough is always made on the foundations as the advent of certain technology. For example, scientists were affiliated by the constrain of the device which was used to detect the fluctuation of cosmic wave,since a large part of the wave was reflected by the atmosphere. But nowadays, things changed, because of the advent of spaceship, scientist can sent a spaceship ,which is equipped with the device mentioned above,to the space. Without the influence of atmosphere, scientists can observe the universe more clearly and collect much more accurate dates.
     
Generally speaking, based on the above statements, the speaker overstate the comparative disadvantage of the technology. Ignoring the minor negative aspects of technology, we should admit the unprecedented positive impact on the evolution of the whole society--------it is technology that kindle the ability of creation, boost the prosperity of our society.
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沙发
发表于 2012-5-9 00:45:11 | 只看该作者
最后that 该成who.
板凳
发表于 2012-5-10 00:30:31 | 只看该作者
makes things easy of use ??
A more striking example,one may mention in science filed,这句话不完整吧
look no far than?这个词组用的有待商榷
地板
发表于 2012-5-10 00:32:44 | 只看该作者
内容结构啥的都还不错,建议以后附上提纲,便于理解
5#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-10 19:14:31 | 只看该作者
it is technology that kindle the ability of creation, boost the prosperity of our society.是这句里的that么?为什么用who?
6#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-10 19:15:33 | 只看该作者
it is technology that kindle the ability of creation, boost the prosperity of our society.是这句里的that么?为什么用who?
7#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-10 19:20:30 | 只看该作者

to:竹林中人

makes things easy of use ??
A more striking example,one may mention in science filed,这句话不完整吧
look no far than?这个词组用的有待商榷
-- by 会员 竹林中人 (2012/5/10 0:30:31)



Makes things easy of use
A more striking example, one may mention in science filed这两句如何修改?(只要表达出我想表达的意思就好了)
Look no far than 直接删掉是不是比较好?
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