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[作文互改] issue 4----scandal, 求指教!~

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楼主
发表于 2012-5-16 00:32:38 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
4. Scandals areuseful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker orreformer ever could.


我的outline大概是这样的:
观点——同意
1.      scandals有揭露真相的作用
2.      人们倾向于拒绝接受说句(speaker and reformer),而对负面消息有一种异乎寻常的好奇心;这可以使scandals更有效地抓住人们的注意力,从而解决问题
3.      但同时,我们需要注意丑闻不等于谣言


我的问题:
1.      第一点会不会有些跑题?
2.      如果把第一点省略掉,而把第二点拆成“丑闻可以更有效地引起关注”和“这可以让人们更充分地意识到问题的所在,从而解决问题”两部分,会不会更好一点?


The speaker claimsthat scandals, opposite to our common sense, are essential to our society becausethey can draw our attention on certain problems more efficiently than anyspeakers or reformers can. To some extent, I do agree with the author. Since theso-called “whole person”, who is perfectly flawless both physically andmorally, has never existed, we should adjust our attitudes towards the darkside of human nature. And as long as this fundamental concept is accepted, thefollowing reasons could be reasonable explanations of my agreement.

 First and most basically of all, scandals dohave the function of informing us of the backstage plots which are realities,instead of false illusions, of events. Especially of the stories of thoseauthorities who are holding the power to manipulate the mass media to cover thehumiliating or reputation-damaging truth from the multitude. On the contrary,speakers or reformers, who might be among the array of those overpowering “somebody”,would do more to inspire or persuade the citizenry, even at the expense oftelling lies and hiding actualities. We do not need to cast our eyes furtherthan on the Scandal of Watergate to bolster this point—without the exposure ofthis shocking news report, we may never be accessible to the chance to knowwhat has happened during those electing months among those famous statesmen,and as a result of this ignorance, Nixon might be accepted as the nestpresident of America, with the fame of being morally perfect.

 The second reason why I support the assertionis that, compared to common speakers and reformers, scandals have an almostenchanted power to arouse our curiosity, via which the attention of us can bedrawn closely to the issue and real progress can be made. From the perspectiveof psychology, this phenomenon can be elaborated by the nature of rebellion withinus: we are always disdaining the positive preaching from parents and teachers—whichare also the roles of speakers and reformers in public movements, but arelikely to be enchanted by negative gossips and stories—just look at the salevolume of terrific fictions. Fortunately, this not-so-good nature can lead usto endeavor in solving problems sometimes. For example, there had been voiceswho were trying to reveal the inside story of auditing profession, but wereneglected for a long time. It was the scandal of Enron Corporation thatresulted in the reformation in auditing.

 However, we should be cautious that scandalsdo not equal groundless aspersions or fabricated libels. The differences liemostly on that, although they are all about negative and humiliatinginformation, the former ones should be true and be beneficial to the public forthe reason mentioned above, while the latter ones are fictions which do anythingharm to the person concerned and meanwhile, do nothing good to the hearersdespite some cheap entertainment values.

 To sum, scandals, as the speaker asserts, areuseful due to their efficiency to draw people’s attention, and this kind ofefficiency is almost peerless to any speakers or reformers. However, to be moreoverall, we shall be cautious to the differences between scandals and gossips,which shall be differed, for most of the time, by ourselves.
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沙发
发表于 2012-5-16 09:11:14 | 只看该作者
The speaker claimsthat scandals, opposite to our common sense, are essential to our society becausethey can draw our attention on certain problems more efficiently than anyspeakers or reformers can.

The beginning of the sentence is very good; however, does the issue really say that scandals can draw our attention "more efficiently" than speakers and reformers?


I am doubting.


Besides, is there an expression like "whole person"? I would use "perfect man never exists"
板凳
发表于 2012-5-16 09:13:10 | 只看该作者
Since theso-called “whole person”, who is perfectly flawless both physically andmorally, has never existed, we should adjust our attitudes towards the darkside of human nature. And as long as this fundamental concept is accepted, thefollowing reasons could be reasonable explanations of my agreement.

I don't know these sentences have anything to do with the topic.


Please don't put "and" at the beginning of a sentence.
地板
发表于 2012-5-16 09:21:12 | 只看该作者
"First and most basically of all, scandals dohave the function of informing us of the backstage plots which are realities,instead of false illusions, of events."

First of all, scandals do play an important role in dramatically revealing the darksides of the reality.

What about this?


I like the example of the Watergate scandal. Clinton's sexual scandal is a good one as well.
5#
发表于 2012-5-16 09:23:52 | 只看该作者
I think the third one is not very necessary, the "However . . . " paragraph.
6#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-21 18:34:17 | 只看该作者
感谢您的指正!~
1.刚刚又查了一下,是我对题目理解有偏差了……
2. whole person好像也是一个idom,我最早是在一篇跟希腊文明有关的文章里看到的(大意是说古希腊人追求whole person——全人,即人的内在与外在是一个整体,不能割裂开来看待),而且现在很多人倡导whole person education,所以就直接用了……
3. 我个人还是对这篇的逻辑有点拿不准(之前列提纲的时候就纠结了很久……),您看我是否应该在逻辑方面再修改一下呢?
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