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[作文互改] 第一次写issue,求批改,拍拍拍

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楼主
发表于 2013-3-10 10:23:31 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
第一次写issue,第二个题目To understand the most important characteristics of a society,one must study its major city.
自己感觉写得超烂。求批改。求指教
With the development of modern society,the characteristics of a society become much more complex than anytime before,so we may find it's hard to understand  and recognize  traits of a society.In these condition,some people hold the opinion that study major city of a society is a good method to get familiar  with its most important characteristics,which I consider to be a objective but imcomplete idea.
A society,it's a very huge and complex combination,which conclude cultures,economy,polictics,people etc,not so simple for a person from out to full understand.Due to this delemma,figure out a shortcut seems pluasible and reasonable.Taking Beijing as a example,it's one of the most historical but well-preseved city in China,made it  capital of YUAN,MING and QING dynasty.The city is full of culture relics,and masterpieces of ancient Chinese people,not only just in archetectual,also in painting,scrulpture,characater.Moreover,contemprary Beijing has developed to a very open and highly modernalized city,the capital of China,center of politics and culture,most urbanal area of the world,in here one could get involved into the mixture of old and novel.If someone defines Beijing as the represengtative of China,Chinese will never doubt about that.
Meanwhile,just study in major city is not sufficient,cause charactersic in a society not only consist by one or two major city,even minor city,all cities in this society make contribution to progress of uniquity. We may not debase the importance of other cities,someone who wants to know a sociey in a onmipotent aspect,he or she should focuses on some seems not so significant city,such as Phladephia of USA,Nanjing in China,these cities in our mind are not like  super cities ,but it provide a very complete evidence of progress in a society,used to be capital of the contries,or formal economic center,helping us learn characteristics of a society more vivid and complete.What's more,it's essential for people to know a society to pay attention to some small city,conritbuting not so much but also very important to social unique,
take Xiangtan of Hunan province as example,birthplace of Chairman Mao,also the birthplace
of Qibaishi and some other famous idividual in China history,such city is too small and obsolete to make people to know, but it alse play a undoubtable critial role in one society's progress.
In brief,to learn a society's traits,research in major cities is first priority,while one can not ignore other cities' function.
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沙发
发表于 2013-3-11 09:29:16 | 只看该作者
结尾太草草了事。

句子需要加工

Meanwhile,just study in major city is not sufficient,cause charactersic in a society not only consist by one or two major city,even minor city,all cities in this society make contribution to progress of uniquity.

这句就有很多问题,可以分析分析语法。
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2013-3-13 13:09:22 | 只看该作者
写到后面就像挤牙膏,感觉怎么也挤不出来了。
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