新g Argu 82 求拍~（觉得这篇很烂，希望帮我看看这种结构行不行）

ykhjy · 发表于 2012-1-21 23:27:35

82) The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of marketing at Dura-Socks, Inc.
A recent study of Dura-Socks customers suggests that our company is wasting the money it spends on its patented Endure manufacturing process, which ensures that our socks are strong enough to last for two years. We have always advertised our use of the Endure process, but the new study shows that despite the socks' durability, our customers, on average, actually purchase new Dura-Socks every three months. Furthermore, customers surveyed in our largest market—northeastern United States cities—say that they most value Dura-Socks' stylish appearance and availability in many colors. These findings suggest that we can increase our profits by discontinuing use of the Endure manufacturing process.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

In this argument, the writer suggests to discontinuing use of the Endure manufacturing process based on the evidences concerning a new study about customers' averagely three months purchasing Dura-Socks despite the socks' durability, and a survey in their largest market about customers' mostly attracted by Dura-Socks' stylish appearance and availability in many colors. It seems reasonable to assume that customers don't pay attention to Dura-Socks' durability any more at first glance. However, some questions need to be answered as follows.

In the first place, the writer seems to assume that customers averagely purchase new Dura-Scoks every three months prove that customers plan to wear the socks only for three moths, thus it seems unnecessary to continue use of the Endure manufacturing process. However, does the evidence really prove that customers don't pay attention to the durability any more? It is doubtful. The fact only shows the frequency of customers' purchasing socks, and it is unreasonable to assume that purchasing new socks means their forsaking old ones. Since it is only a habit for customers to buy new socks every three moths and it is possible customers would continue to wear the old socks after buying new ones.

In the second place, the writer cites the survey concerning some customers most value Dura- Socks' stylish appearance and availability in many colors. It seems that durability of socks are meaningless for customers. However, can the survey really totally explain the assumption? It is suspicious. Since it is very possible that those customers were attracted by the socks' durability firstly, and when they purchase more socks, they find that the socks are more and more stylish appearance and availability in many colors, which increasing their desire to purchase the socks.

Finally, even if customers in the survey really pay less attention to the socks' durability, can the survey which is made in Northeast-United States cities represent the nationwide situation? I'm afraid not. Although the survey is made in their largest market, it is unreasonable to rule out the possibility that other customers may still pay much attention to the socks' durability. And if discontinuing use of the Endure manufacturing process, those customers who also consist of large part of their market may be discontented, thus their profits don't necessarily increase.

In conclusion, what the frequency of customers' purchasing socks explains? Dose the survey's result really substantiate customers' less valuing of socks' durability? Whether the survey is representative or not? The answers of these questions above lead this suggestion to an unconvincingly reasonable one.

普渡哥 · 发表于 2012-1-22 13:18:17

我觉得这篇结构比之前好。

普渡哥 · 发表于 2012-1-22 13:22:25

In conclusion, what the frequency of customers' purchasing socks explains?
这句话写得不是很专业。。注意句子的组织结构。

比如这句，可写成：how to explain the customers' frequency of purchasing socks?

ykhjy · 发表于 2012-1-23 01:09:08

THX~

lukebrehm · 发表于 2012-1-26 13:28:38

In this argument, the writer suggests discontinuing the use of Endure manufacturing process based on the evidences concerning a new study how customers purchase Dura-Socks on average every three months despite the socks' durability, and a survey in their largest market about customers' mostly attracted by Dura-Socks' stylish appearance and availability in many colors. At first glance it seems reasonable to assume that customers don't pay attention to Dura-Socks' durability anymore. However the following questions need to be answered.

In the first place, the writer seems to assume that customers’ purchases of new Dura-Socks every three months prove that customers plan to wear the socks for only three months,thus it seems unnecessary to continue use of the Endure manufacturing process.However, does the evidence really prove that customers don't pay attention to the durability anymore? It is doubtful. The fact only shows the frequency of customers' purchasing socks; therefore, it is unreasonable to assume that purchasing new socks means they're forsaking old ones. Since it is only a habit for customers to buy new socks every three months; therefore, it is possible customers would continue to wear the old socks after buying new ones.

In the second place, the writer cites the survey concerning some customers who most value Dura-Socks' stylish appearance and availability in many colors. It seems that durability of socks is meaningless for customers. However, can the survey really totally explain the assumption? It is suspicious. It is very possible that at first those customers were attracted by the socks' durability. Then when purchasing more socks, they found that the socks were more and more stylish in appearance and also available in many colors, which in turn increased their desire to purchase the socks.

Finally, even if customers in the survey really pay less attention to the socks' durability, can the survey which was made in the Northeast of the United States be representative of the nationwide situation? I'm afraid not. Although the survey was made in their largest market, it is unreasonable to rule out the possibility that other customers may still pay attention to the socks' durability. If use of the Endure manufacturing process was discontinued, customers who are part of the larger market may be discontented, resulting in fewer profits for the country.

In conclusion, what does the frequency of customers' purchases of socks explain? Do the survey's results really substantiate customers' under valuing the socks' durability? Is the survey representative or not? The answers of these questions above lead this suggestion to an unconvincingly reasonable one.

Here is a revision of your work with a fair amount of details, pay attention to the words in red which have be revised.

The last sentence is just a mess... I didn't work on it. 加油

ykhjy · 发表于 2012-1-26 13:40:49

thx~

ykhjy · 发表于 2012-1-26 13:45:59

really thank you very much~!

lukebrehm · 发表于 2012-1-26 14:27:10

no problem

[argument] 新g Argu 82 求拍~（觉得这篇很烂，希望帮我看看这种结构行不行）

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