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[作文互改] issue74求拍砖点评

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楼主
发表于 2011-12-24 00:49:47 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
74. Knowing about the past cannot help people to make important decisions today.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.





Does the past provide no significant help to make important decisions for us, as the statement suggests? Admittedly, there are considerably huge disparate events between the past and the current, a large number of which are not able to apply to the present. On balance, however, I tend to disagree with the speaker, for the reason that the human beings cannot live without history, representing the correlations between our ancestors and their successor, just like the way of passing the culture.



First and foremost, no one can deny the fact that history fails to assist us to make some vital chooses to a certain extent. In the first place, as the rapid development of the society, everything is changing every time, especially considering the high technology era. It is widely acknowledged that old –fashioned experience cannot be suitable to the current society. Consider, for example, in the past, the environment was not the same as where we live right now. Some new problems occur which the past need not to face, such as energy problem and environmental issues. In the second place, different eras lead to various merits. Thus, some ancient values lost its worth because of the changing society. The appropriate example is the inequality of status of the women in the past while recently, men and women are equal.



Although this assertion has merits, I fundamentally disagree with the statement in two respects, because history is coherent, and no one is able to just discrete the past and the present, recognizing numerous problems currently are the continuations of the past.



With the respect to the successful and precious experience, most of time, we trace our predecessors’ footprint to proceed. Without the challenges of the unequally social policies by our ancestors, we are incapable of possessing this harmony society, and the experience teaches us how to further complete the institution of the society; Without the exploration of the art by our old artists, we are not enabled to take enjoyment in so large myriad of works, which offer us the experience how to be innovative; Without a mass of experiments and data, the current researchers have to repeat the intricate jobs to decide the directions of the research. Thanks for the valuable heritage left by our ancestors, promoting the pace of the progress.



With the respect of the function of the history, which means it warn us, enable us not to do the wrong things like the past. Obviously, it makes us to be more prudent when needing to decide. It calls to my mind that the most tragic disasters of the whole world-World War, which brought endless pains and nightmares to our people; slowed down the proceeding of the human development. Acquainted with this kind of history will have an amazingly imperative impact on us to make sure not to let this happen again, which means more peaceful, more rational and more cautious world are needed in terms of the progress of the human civilization.



From the analysis made above, although there are some flaws in the past, it is extremely essential and significant to know about our history, and it will prevent us to make the wrong decisions. Nevertheless, exorbitantly concerning about the past even copy the history will also exert some disadvantages. In my view, the best approach is totake an all-sided consideration and be selective to borrow ideas from the past, neither the whole of it nor none of it.
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沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2011-12-24 00:50:30 | 只看该作者
小女写的第一篇文章,希望大家多多指点,自己顶下……
板凳
发表于 2011-12-24 09:21:10 | 只看该作者
立意上还比较清晰,这个很重要,看了第一段就要让人知道你的观点和文章的主要内容。结构上安排比较妥当,一反二正。
至于缺陷,我觉得你的论证需要加强,you need specific examples and facts to support your idea and position,比如第一段你谈到环境和资源问题的问题,可以适当举个例子,增强说服力,这样就不会让人觉得是你个人的片面之词了。
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2011-12-24 18:39:33 | 只看该作者
恩恩 我明白你的意思了 就是例子要举得具体一些……
5#
 楼主| 发表于 2011-12-24 18:43:53 | 只看该作者
一定要有大词难词吗?我尽量把简单的词换掉了……
6#
 楼主| 发表于 2011-12-24 19:07:29 | 只看该作者
不是一定要大词难词,但至少需要出现一些。一般大难词需要占据全文的5%。也就是400字的作文的话,出现20个左右就可以了。文章高出一般水平,一定要加油啊。
-- by 会员 ipass (2011/12/24 19:04:47)


明白你的意思了,十分感谢,我会努力改正的
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