ChaseDream
搜索
返回列表 发新帖
查看: 2482|回复: 2
打印 上一主题 下一主题

[作文互改] 求拍,argument154

[复制链接]
跳转到指定楼层
楼主
发表于 2011-12-13 19:59:54 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
argument“
Homes in the northeastern United States, where winters are typically cold, have traditionally used oil as their major fuel for heating. Last year that region experienced twenty days with below-average temperatures, and local weather forecasters throughout the region predict that this weather pattern will continue for several more years. Furthermore, many new homes have been built in this region during the past year. Based on these developments, we predict a large increase in the demand for heating oil. Therefore, we recommend investment in Consolidated Industries, one of whose major business operations is the retail sale of home heating oil."


In this argument, the author concludes that the consumption of the oil of this area will increase in the near future. To support his conclusion, the author cites that the following several years the temperature in this area will decline and there are numerous houses has been built last year. At first glance, this argument appears to be somewhat reasonable, but further reflection informs me that this argument has a myriad of assumptions and holes.

First and foremost, the author presumptuously assumes that the tendency of the low temperature will continue in the following years. To bolster his conclusion , the author claims that the weather forecast has predicted that the following years will be very cold. The author presumptuously assumes that all the thing will remain unchanged in the extended future. It is highly possible that the weather which is very cold will change or even reverse in the near future. It is utterly absurd for the author to conclude the weather will continue be very cold. Even though the cold was cold last year, it does not necessary suggest that this trend will appear in the future.

In addition, it is considerably irrational for the author to conclude that the desire of the oil will increase since a large number of houses has been built last year. However, the increase of the number of the houses never amounts to a respondent increase of the oil. It is perhaps that the new houses will not allow the residents to live in the first year for the lethal chemical materials. Even if the new houses allow the residents to live, it does not mean that the citizens will use the oil as the main fuel to make the houses warmer. It is highly possible that most of the houses have the other equipment to make the house warm. Even if they use the oil as the main fuel , there is possibility that they will choose other companies since theadvantage of the price.

Moreover, the author presumptuously assumes that it is a sane choice to invest the CI, which is a fuel company. It is likely that the company will not choose the oil as the mail fuel for the business, even if they invest the company. It is highly possible that the citizen will choose a wholesale rather than a retail as their first choice. Even if they choose the retail, there may be many other companies that they can choose as the price advantage.

In conclusion, this argument actually has several flaws as discussed above. To make this argument more convincing, the author would have to take ever possible factors into consideration and provide more information to evaluate this claim.
收藏收藏 收藏收藏
沙发
发表于 2011-12-13 21:04:16 | 只看该作者
整体结构不错,语言功底也很好。
我记得质疑某个观点的时候,有时候也可以加上一些补充的,比如说,在每段最后,“如果说话人能提供什么样的证据,就可以认为他是对的”之类的
板凳
发表于 2011-12-13 21:36:37 | 只看该作者
最后一段,首先说明argue是不足的;
                其次,需要针对前述的first,second,说出speaker忽略了这些因素;
               最后针对last,说出we 应该关于sth 了解更多的知识。。。。。差不多这样吧
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

Mark一下! 看一下! 顶楼主! 感谢分享! 快速回复:

手机版|ChaseDream|GMT+8, 2024-11-15 12:05
京公网安备11010202008513号 京ICP证101109号 京ICP备12012021号

ChaseDream 论坛

© 2003-2023 ChaseDream.com. All Rights Reserved.

返回顶部