ISSUE 1, 第一篇新g作文，求大家宝贵意见

radon121 · 发表于 2011-10-28 13:33:20

新G Topic 1
As people relymore and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to thinkfor themselves will surely deteriorate.

第一次提笔，感觉没什么好写，举例很单调，连接也不是很顺，字数在500左右。不知道一般作文要写多少字，望大家指教，谢谢
I cannot agree on the controversial point thatthe ability of human beings to think for themselves will surely deteriorate aspeople rely more and more on the technology to solve problems.
Every coin has its two sides. Despite the factthat technology plays a more and more important role in our daily life, the wayhow technology is utilized differs from person to person. Therefore, it prettymuch depends on the individual that whether the involvement of technology inproblem solving harms the humans’ thinking ability.
Some people lost their ability to think fortheir usage of advanced modern technology as a replacement of their brains. Forinstance, the number of students who would like to do the calculations by handdramatically decreases as the calculator is permitted to be used in the exams. Evenone who has plenty of time for his assignment is willing to take the advantageof a calculator, which provides a more accurate and more convenient way forsolving the problems. As a result, students will lose the ability to think forthe arithmetic computation gradually.
The Internet has a tremendous influence on themodern society. We have the most powerful on-line search engine ever; such arevolutionary invention of Internet becomes an indispensable tool for everyone.With the help of the on-line searching tools, people can find whatever theywant by just a few “clicks” on the screen. This brings on the fact that somepeople prefer to search for a solution to a problem rather than think itindependently. This is another bad example for the technology as it developsthe habit for those people to search instead of thinking.
Those examples above, to some extent,illustrates that the ability of humans to think get deteriorated as they relyon technology. However, people benefit even more from the development oftechnology.
Let’s take the Internet as an example again. TheWorld Wide Web is a fast track for communication and information exchange regardlessof your physical location; some schools or education institutes thus providespeople with their Internet-based courses or tutorials. It gives to the peoplewho cannot make themselves to the classroom a chance to get well-educated; therefore,it apparently encourages people to think.
In the old times, large amount of computationrequired for research work could only be done by manpower or electro-mechanical machines;thus, the progress of the work was slow since the computation took a long timeto be finished. After the computer was invented, this situationwas changed as it improved the computational speed significantly. Scientistsand engineers were able to think more since all of their ideas could becomputed or simulated in a short period. Consequently, it spurred people’s ingenuityand creativity.
In conclusion, technology is double-edged. As longas we use it in the right way, it will not inhibit our thinking ability; on thecontrary, technology can make people more innovative.

ppguo · 发表于 2011-10-29 02:22:36

整体还很不错啊。
第一段：不能照抄题目的观点，要用自己的话复述一遍。你亮出自己观点的方式有点像在写Argue.
你把第一段和第二段融合一下，作为第一段会好哦啊很多。
最后一段：technology is a double-edge sword. 这么说感觉会好一些。

radon121 · 发表于 2011-10-29 02:52:59

谢谢你的建议，终于有人回复了

冷月钟笛 · 发表于 2011-10-29 23:08:11

500字数很不错~ 控制时间很重要~
可能是键入论坛的格式问题（我以前也遇到过），段落看得不是很清晰~
感觉结构有些零散，建议观点统领事例，分层次讨论，更清晰~ 加油！

radon121 · 发表于 2011-10-30 05:53:18

谢谢，考试的时候最好写多少字？

冷月钟笛 · 发表于 2011-10-30 12:59:59

新东方的老师说300+其实已经足以，不过其实也是越多越好，好一点的话，400+的字数基本可以把问题说清，500+的话就要看速度，600+看运气了~

冷月钟笛 · 发表于 2011-10-30 13:00:32

不是纯native的话，很少有能用300+的字数拿到AW5-6分

ppguo · 发表于 2011-10-31 10:57:58

谢谢冷月。发现你有几篇新作，马上去拍。 LZ 也去拍拍冷月的吧，攒RP哦。

[作文] ISSUE 1, 第一篇新g作文，求大家宝贵意见

所属分类: GRE考试

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