新GRE作文每日一练21（qq群：178673590）

普渡哥 · 发表于 2011-10-27 10:02:05

游戏规则：1. 每日选题，issue ，argument 各一。包括题目，题号，以及写作要求
2. 传文方式，论坛发帖回帖
3. 欢迎大家提宝贵意见！
注：作文编号为新G的题库号码

今日主题

Issue
新G题号：45
题目：Competition for high grades seriously limits the quality of learning at all levels of education.
写作要求：Writea response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Argument
新G题号：6
题目：Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.
写作要求：Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

普渡哥 · 发表于 2011-10-28 12:17:55

up up

普渡哥 · 发表于 2011-10-29 08:00:28

大家快快练作文啊！

snowmelt · 发表于 2011-10-30 01:59:48

30min远远不够，写的还是不够熟，哭。
然后我的第三个论点，写得有点像有谬误的argument。那个调查其实是我自己做过的，可是一个调查研究怎么能用几句话概括的天衣无缝呢（我又加了一句，调查被科学的方法证明是valid）。求高人指点。
字数：577

In today’s rapid development oftechnology, science and social life, we are in a desperate need ofwell-educated people. Ways to train students well at school have been widely undera long-term discussion. I admit that paying too much attention to high gradesis a method far from effective learning. However, competition for high grades,as a dominating form in many countries, has been playing a significant role inhelping with learning.

Admittedly, learning quality might beseriously limited by competition for high grades when educators or students overemphasize the function of grades. The overstatement of high grades might evencause painful consequences. As we know, for example, in some Asian countrieswhere the competition for high grades is the most important way to get highereducation and better jobs, students are under great pressure. There must beseveral cases of suicides reported each year in China, Japan and Korea, for thehuge burdens of getting high grades that they could not deal with very well.The pursuing for high grades could have been a risk to the learners’ mentalhealth or even lives, not to mention how negative it is to the quality oflearning. Besides, moral problems such as cheating have also epidemic in someareas where high grade is the only focus at school.

However, as a traditional method of evaluating,the requirement of good grades has its own merits. For instance, most Americanuniversities take SAT or GRE scores as a condition to admit students becausethey believe that the tests could to some degree evaluate the applicant’sability in learning. And it works. Under the clear guide of this developingevaluating system, students could work on the qualities they need to get highergrades. Learning qualities could also be improved with the clearer goal oflearning. Without a general consensus of evaluation system, it seems too hardto fairly arrange students into appropriate positions.

Moreover, examination could be aneffective motivation to students when it is limited to a safe range, so as toimprove the quality of learning. This is especially true on the elementary (K-5)education levels. When I was an intern in a 2^nd grade classroom, mymentor, a 2^nd grade classroom teacher who was also taking courses ina graduate school, did an action research about the role tests play to motivatelearning. She gave a math test to a group of the students twice a week with atime limit. Two months later, this group of students got much higher gradesthan the control group, and they could finish their daily worksheets faster. 80%responses to questionnaires sent to parents of students who were in theexperiment group also showed that the weekly math tests motivated the students indoing their math homework in different degrees. Additionally, a few teachers inother grade levels all got similar results, which had also been proved to bevalid after being analyzed by a scientific method. According to the actionresearch, competition for high grades can contribute to a better learningquality by serving as a great motive to elementary students.

In sum, as discussed above we could safelydraw the conclusion that competition for high grades serves as a double-edgesword in education. Appropriate grades competition is not only an effective wayof evaluating the learning abilities, it can also serve as a motivation ineducation. However, emphasizing purely on grades other than effective learning couldbe hazardous.

snowmelt · 发表于 2011-10-30 03:21:34

Argument
这个题目并不难，但是仍然没在30min之内写完，速度速度啊！

In this argument, the author claims that the reason for the purported decline in deer populations is caused by the fact that they are unable to across the frozen sea regularly. To justify his conclusion, the author cites some reports from local hunters which notice a decline of population in deer. He also points out that the global warming must be the reason for the ice to melt. The argument is well-presented but not well-reasoned in the following respects.

To begin with, according to the local hunters’ reports, there has been a decline in the number of Arctic deer. Yet no detailed evidence is provided to prove the reports are reliable. It is entirely possible that the local hunters are talking about only the areas where the plants have already gone, so the deer would not come for food. It is also possible that the deer just ran away when the hunters were hunting there, so there were not many deer at that time. Even if the hunters have traced every single place, it was still hard for them to trace the exact numbers of the Artic deer because both of them are moving all the time. The fact that the number of Arctic deer has been declined cannot be accepted until the author substantiate that the reports are reliable.

In the second place, even if the reports from the local hunters are true, the argument unfairly assumes that the sea ice melt directly results from global warming trends. Yet the author fails to justify the assumption. Although the decline in deer numbers coincide with the global warming trends, it is possible that the global warming trends only exists in the theoretical level and has not affected the temperature in Arctic yet. Even if the temperature has been changed due to the global warming trends, nothing shows that the affection was serious enough to decrease the number of Arctic deer. Without illustrating the exact relationship between the population of Arctic deer and the recent global warming trends, the argument is still unwarranted.

Finally, even if the author can ensure that the global warming trends cause the ice to melt in Arctic, he still cannot assume that the ice melt is and the only reason that causes the population decline in deer. Admitted that the ice has melted for to some degree, it is possible that the ice just melts slightly and the deer can still cross the seas. Additionally, there are many other reasons that decrease the deer population. Perhaps hunters have killed a great number of deer so there is a serious decline in deer population. Perhaps the environment has been seriously polluted by people who visit Arctic (mostly hunters), and the deer cannot live there anymore. Without ruling out other possibilities which may contribute to the decline of Arctic deer, the author cannot successfully convince me.

In sum, the argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To strengthen the conclusion, the author must prove that there is a serious decline in the population of Arctic deer for sure, and that the global warming trends can directly affect the number of deer. To better evaluate the argument, I also need to know what the real cause for the population decline is.

[作文] 新GRE作文每日一练21（qq群：178673590）

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