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[作文] I4,丑闻,望拍

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楼主
发表于 2011-10-2 10:53:28 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
只写了两个body段,放弃了3个的想法,不知道大家有什么意见?


4. Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.


Every society suffers the detrimental effects of scandals, yet it might also receive sandals’ beneficial effects. Justifying scandals is never a simple job, for it requires multi-dimensional observation to settle the issue. That is to say, the usefulness of scandals varies depending on different situations.
First off, there’s no denying that scandals could have enormous impact on many aspects when penetrating through every pore of darkness in the society. But the crux lies in a threshold problem: is it worthwhile to inform the multitude all wrong-doings existing among themselves as well as in their society? For example, sandals aiming at the government may expose secrets including corruption, however, what constitutes the government is not merely morality. People need a government to perform important tasks to them, a government that maintains its leadership no matter when. From this point, people’s morale would decrease and they would even panic, were the government been showed lacking morality which might be detrimental to the multitude’s faith. Nonetheless, someone may contend that it might seem aristocratic since when the government could withdraw scandals at liberty, the interests and rights of the multitude would not be guaranteed. An idea across the U.S. stays stable with the espousal of the Americans that all men are created equal, which is contradicted by the situation in China. While agreeing that there exists no right disseminated among people, I opine that the welfare of Chinese is guaranteed indeed. Because of diverse policies playing roles in different continents, it’s inappropriate to denounce other nations based on discrete conceptions of government. As long as a government could do its job, most people would rather ignore the misconducts of it, unless it goes way too far.
However, scandals may come in handy tackling the problems secreted deep in the core of a society. The reformers and speakers are eager to present positive aspects about the changes in their contents of speeches, yet circumvent the negative ones undoubtedly. The point is that reformers as well as speakers are not the ones to blame, nor are the populaces whose minds are so easily addled by combination of compliments and oaths expected to reflect about everything including themselves. In this case, scandals appear to represent the messengers of justice. For instance, scandals could leak information pertaining to the ugly dealings behind the veil of the government, making Nixon lose power, and to the tortures happening towards common people in the Middle East, presenting the inhumane face of American soldiers in front of the world. Some people—especially parents of soldiers—might oppose to this contention that their sons should not be generalized altogether to bear such insults since their sons have never participated in the war. But what the parents fail to see is, the common people involved in the war need not see these scandals presented in forms of documents or videos—they face the danger of death every single day. With the efforts of scandals collected with evidence—faked scandals should be defied and denounced without hesitation of all people—we can shift the tough situations in these places one way or another to a more felicitous ambience.
In retrospect, conceding scandals may be of use in certain ways, even may save lives in the war, they also could be fabricated to serve a wicked aim, and threaten the prestige of governments causing decreasing welfare of the people. In a nutshell, scandals may bring more negative effects than positive ones, but it might prove to be correct to preserve this method of news, for the sake of its reassuring power of supervising misconducts.


599words,思路中断,没有计时。
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沙发
发表于 2011-10-3 11:08:01 | 只看该作者
这篇写的好。
中间一段怎么那么长
板凳
发表于 2011-10-3 12:13:21 | 只看该作者
大剑的文章很少被拍,因为看得懂都有一定难度
但是本文中关于人权的例子,尤其是对于中国人权的辩解似乎并没有支持到该段的论点--scandal有害,至少要提炼一下此scandal并非属实,误导美国民众,破坏中国形象等等
Nonetheless, someone may contend that it might seem aristocratic since when the government could withdraw scandals at liberty, the interests and rights of the multitude would not be guaranteed. An idea across the U.S. stays stable with the espousal of the Americans that all men are created equal, which is contradicted by the situation in China. While agreeing that there exists no right disseminated among people, I opine that the welfare of Chinese is guaranteed indeed. Because of diverse policies playing roles in different continents, it’s inappropriate to denounce other nations based on discrete conceptions of government. As long as a government could do its job, most people would rather ignore the misconducts of it, unless it goes way too far.
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2011-10-4 09:37:01 | 只看该作者
呃。。因为这篇不是要challenge么,我就正反都举了例子。。结果就变成这样了。。
5#
 楼主| 发表于 2011-10-4 09:38:49 | 只看该作者
有道理啊~看来我没develop好,得好好讲一下。。至于多数人都看不懂是什么状况。。。这个很严重啊,我得努力改改。。
6#
发表于 2011-10-5 10:40:22 | 只看该作者
里面的长句太长,太难,而且有很多生僻的词。我觉得裁判也要多读几遍才能懂。
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