[issue7]My first issue

40分钟,写得郁闷得想哭了.

*The best way to give advice to other people is to find out what they want and then advise them how to attain it.*

The traditional Chinese moral values require us to give advice to others but the skill to give advice seems to be quite subtle. Someone argues that the best way is to fit the receiver's need and give instructions to attain the goal. Though I realize the significance of fitting others' goals, I wonder whether or not this is the best way.

First of all, I would like to applaud the pragmatism in this method. To find out the advice receivers' need and then to show the path to fulfill their demand is so practical that the receivers can certainly benefit from the advisor. There is cost for both the advisors and the listeners and the more accurately the advice is dealing with the problem itself, the more efficient it is for both sides. After finding out the target, the advisor should realize that it's no use to give and only give some academic analysis. In other circumstances, parents, however, may commit the fault to give children what they want instead of giving lesson to let the children strive for what they need. In other words, teaching fishing is taking precedence over giving fish. As far as I am concerned, advisors should neither give general analysis nor satisfy their listeners' demand directly. In this sense, the method to spin others' target and then give advice is one of the most effective way to give instructions.

However, this way is far from perfect. There is quite a large chance that those seeking help are after inappropriate goals. It is wholly possible that the goal itself is impractical or illegal. On the behalf of the counterpart, advisors should not provide instructions to achieve that goal even if they know the means. In our daily life, however, it is simply the innocence that causes the chase after the wrong dream. A lot of people ignore their unique capacity only to wave with the tide. Even though their dream is practical, advisors should still analyze their advantages for them and offer better alternatives. Consulting companies do more than just restructure their customers according to their demands. More often than not, they ignite new roads and give advice that does not fit the original goals but does benefit the customers. When one encounters those kinds of situations, to satisfy the original demand does not seem to be the best way.

In a word, what we do should vary with circumstances. We certainly should find out what other want in the first place but then we should examine the feasibility and the legality of the goal. Standing for the benefit of advisees, advisors should carefully weigh the advantages and disadvantages and then give the advice best for advisees instead of the advice that fit the demand best.