XDJM看过来，AA16

lindaaniu · 发表于 2010-5-22 12:37:41

今天上午练了一篇AA，发现跟黄金八十篇里的找的驳论点（第三点不一样），帮我看看行不行，还有就是我的例证不知道。。。还有11天。。。FIGHTING!
The editorial shows his conclusion that the academic job seekers will have better times in the next decade though they suffered a hard time throughout the last two decades. To support his conclusion, the editorial cited two evidences. In the first place, the trend, which an increasing number of people will be reaching college age over the next ten years, will provide more positions for academic job seekers who earned graduate degrees. What's more, the improvement in the job market will lead these seekers to a good position. However, the editorial fails to indicate several aspects as followings.

In the first place, the editorial provides no assumption to support the argument of the future better times for academic job seeker. Although the demographic trends will lead an increasing number of people reaching college age, the increasing people may choose not go to college for further education. For example, the world economy needs more high-skilled workers than the academic college students. And thus the increased people who will be reaching college age will choose the skill school, making the college need no more academic teachers. So the evidence can not support the conclusion that the better times for academic job seekers are coming. To support his conclusion, the author must take many factors such as which are mentioned above into consideration.

In the second place, even though the better times come, the situation can not indicate that those who earned graduate degrees such as the graduate from Waymarsh University will benefit from it. Evidence is not sufficient enough to support editorial's idea in this case. The better times may benefit the elder teachers who have retired. Because these retirees have more experience than those who just earned graduate degrees. To support his position, the editorial should take more factors in consideration.

Furthermore, the editorial fails to have substantial evidence to support the assumption. Academic job seeker can either or not benefit from the improved job market. For example, the job market will need more skilled workers to support the economy instead of the academic jobs. And the other kinds of jobs will also improve the job market except this area. Even though a better job market will let more people get jobs, the author fails to notice that jobs in academic college will available more. To support his standpoint, the editorial will need more evidences.
就算需要的老师增加,waymarsh的就业也不见得会水涨船高.(第三点再想一下)

To sum up, the editorial fails to make an assumption that all the increasing people in the next decade will go to college. Moreover, the editorial fails to indicate that the better times may benefit the other people but the graduate degree people. And also the evidence is not enough to support his point. So to support the conclusion, the editorial needs more evidence as mentioned above.

XDJM看过来，AA16

所属分类: 下线版块

正在浏览此版块的会员 ()