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第一篇作文求拍!!

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楼主
发表于 2007-7-3 21:10:00 | 只看该作者

第一篇作文求拍!!

题目有点老套呵呵.同意建新饭馆.

Nowadays there is a general discussion on the plan which is a restaurant will be built in my community. Some people believe that it has some drawback such as pollution production. However, in my opinion, there are far more advantages to build a restaurant in my neighborhood.

First of all, one benefit of this plan is a restaurant can bring more employment opportunities. With the development of a restaurant it will need more staff that the unemployment will begin to decease. Therefore, it can contribute more tax payment and help more people to find jobs. For instance, my friend Jerry did not go to work after he graduates from the university. He needs money to support his apartment and daily life expenditure. The situation has been improved when a restaurant has built in his community. He found a work there and spent a good time there.

Secondly, a restaurant can provide an entertainment place for people to take a relaxation. Before the restaurant has built in Jerry’s neighborhood, the people live there do not have a place to go to spend their leisure time or have dinner with relatives in a high-grade environment except drive to another restaurant which cost them at least 2hours at least. Hence, the restaurant has stabilized consumers and can supply a convenient area for people live around.

There are also one or two disadvantages of building a restaurant in my community. It may produce more garbage then before and cause a busy transportation. Nonetheless, it can build an underground park place to solve that problem. I agree that this plan has a couple of drawback, however, I believe that the benefits of this plan are more obvious.

In conclusion, I fully support to build a new restaurant in the community which I live in for the reasons that it can bring more employment opportunities and provide a place for people to relax on weekend or vacation. In my point of view, this is the best way to spark the economy and give people a chance to enjoy their life.


[此贴子已经被作者于2007-7-3 21:11:29编辑过]
沙发
发表于 2007-7-3 21:15:00 | 只看该作者
写得也很老套
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2007-7-3 21:21:00 | 只看该作者
怎么写是不老套呢...我看了你那一篇..我没那么多词汇量阿...
[此贴子已经被作者于2007-7-3 21:22:02编辑过]
地板
发表于 2007-7-3 21:25:00 | 只看该作者
以下是引用jose在2007-7-3 21:21:00的发言:
怎么写是不老套呢...我看了你那一篇..我没那么多词汇量阿...

格式上过于传统了——开头结尾三个中间段。词汇量的话,需要自己平时多多积累。自己修改自己的文章就是一个办法,把自己文章里的词汇尽量用同义词替换,就是积累词汇量的一个好办法。多查字典,尤其是英英字典,这是基本功,花时间,但也有效。
5#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-7-3 21:29:00 | 只看该作者
以下是引用山衔落日在2007-7-3 21:25:00的发言:

格式上过于传统了——开头结尾三个中间段。词汇量的话,需要自己平时多多积累。自己修改自己的文章就是一个办法,把自己文章里的词汇尽量用同义词替换,就是积累词汇量的一个好办法。多查字典,尤其是英英字典,这是基本功,花时间,但也有效。

但是似乎人人都这么写阿?那些满分作文也是地.写其他格式会不会太冒险?

6#
发表于 2007-7-3 21:34:00 | 只看该作者
给你改改
7#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-7-4 09:34:00 | 只看该作者
改了么...
8#
发表于 2007-7-4 11:16:00 | 只看该作者
我昨天看了看,但是发现要改动的地方太多了.你还是先看一看我的那个写作的帖子和其他的修改吧
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