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一篇作文,请大家拍拍

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楼主
发表于 2007-7-3 22:43:00 | 只看该作者

一篇作文,请大家拍拍

写的是6.30的jj:当发现朋友有错误的时候,要不要指出,指出可能会破坏友谊。

It is often the case that my friend make mistakes in front of me. Some people insist that pointing out these mistakes will hurt the friendship. However, from my own perspective, I will not agree with this. As a true friend, I would like to help my friend travel on the road towards being a perfect person, and this will strengthen rather than damage our friendship.

 

In my life, friends are my precious treasure which I carefully take care of. I have two kinds of friend, one is those who are quite open-minded and forget unhappiness quickly. When I find this kind of friend making a mistake, I will directly point it out to them. Although it maybe embarrassing sometime, my friend will forget it soon. The other kinds of my friends are introvert who will be easily hurt. Thus, when I have to point out these friends' mistake, I often imply to them, even make some sacrifice. One of my friends was always so careless that she broken the roommate’s mirror several times which set the roommate on fire, but the roommate chose to tolerate. So one day, I pretended missing a book borrowed from the friend. Within my expectation, she was angry with me. But after my explanation, she sincerely took my advice and realized what a big trouble she has made to her roommate due to her carelessness.

 

Moreover, I strongly believe that my friend will appreciate my help of correcting their mistakes. If I point out a mistake on my friend's assignment in time, she will not commit it again in the final test. Or it is not likely for my friend to lose things frequently, if I remind her of her carelessness. Correcting my friends' mistakes not only strengthen our friendship, but also provide a better atmosphere around us. As mentioned above, after my reminding of my friend’s carelessness, my friend never broke her roommate's mirror again. The feud between them quickly disappeared. What's more, if I have changed a friend from a liar, I will possess a better friend whom I can trust more and she will be more popular to other people.

 

From the above examples, it can be easily come to the idea that pointing out friends' mistake will strengthen rather then damage our friendship. Even it will build a better world for both of us to live in.

句子和用词都很简单,请大家给些意见。//bow

沙发
发表于 2007-7-3 22:49:00 | 只看该作者

粗看了一篇,还好,比较流畅,但是第二段你的举例是说你是怎么指出朋友的错误的,与题目要求的“要不要”不太切合,是不是应该改一下?

还有发现了一些小错误,单复数之类的。

板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2007-7-3 22:56:00 | 只看该作者

谢谢楼上mm,我在第二段里想表达的意思是,面对不同的朋友,可以用不同的方法来指出错误,避免让对方难堪,从而破坏友谊。 看来表达得不够清楚,我在改改

地板
发表于 2007-7-3 22:58:00 | 只看该作者
恩,这个意思表达得很清楚,我意思是说你表达的这个意思与题目要求有些偏离。
5#
发表于 2007-7-3 22:59:00 | 只看该作者
我的意思是说,这篇文章应该回答的问题是“要不要”,而不是“怎么指出朋友错误不破坏友谊”。你觉得呢?
[此贴子已经被作者于2007-7-3 22:59:27编辑过]
6#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-7-3 23:15:00 | 只看该作者
嗯,那我觉得这个不应该放在第一段,可以放在文章最后一段做个补充,简要点写,对不对?
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