写了作文，考试在即，跪求大大打分啊。。。。

我试着写了一下ISSUE 中的一题，一个礼拜不到就考，复习时间紧，人傻题老，请高手们指点啊。。。。感激涕零

看看有什么需要改进的地方,多指教啊!^_^（没用模板）

21. “Job security and salary should be based on employee performance, not on years of service. Rewarding employees primarily for years of service discourages people from maintaining consistently high levels of productivity.”

“工作保险和工资应该建立在雇员绩效的基础上而非工作年限上。主要根据工作年限奖励员工不利于人们保持高水平的生产力。”
        

According to our rational judgement usually,companies should base their salary and package system on job performance for the purpose of maintaining a high level productivity,and not on the length of the service primarily.This method could not only embody the fair principle but also lift the team morale,thus help to develop the efficiency of corporations.

Though above solution is a great salary-resolution,it is arbitrary to exclude the proper usage of payment according to the service-length and age of the clerk,espicially the former factor.A company should take into account the contribution once made by the veteran,even though their age gradually become the barrier of outstanding-performance.Under such a security-system,the youth will feel it is garanteed to work here without the concern of future earning-degradation,as long as they dedicate to work as deligent as possible.

For well-known instances,Japanese companies commonly take the time-acceleration salary and promotion system.An employee,however expertise or ordinary worker,could get package=plus and position-promotion accompany with the prolonged service time.So Japanese employees generally behave much steady and loyal to their company,and this culture enduce Japanese companies competitive in worldwide-range.But at same time,the disadvantages of this system are concentrated in recent years——a great nember of Japanese employees become inert,lacy,and low-efficient,hampering the development of the company.

In sum,it is not a effictive solution to obsoletely adopt the performance-package system or the age-package system.The package system should simutaneously consider these two factors in accordance with the actual internal and external environment faced to a company,and it is a case-by-case topic.

According to our rational judgement
            usually,companies (逗号后面要空一格，后面的我帮你改了) should base their salary and package system on job performance for the purpose of maintaining a high level productivity, and not on the length of the service primarily. This method could not only embody the fair principle（principle of fairness） but also lift the team morale, thus help to develop the efficiency of corporations.

Though above solution is a great salary-resolution, it is arbitrary to exclude the proper usage of payment according to the service-length and age of the clerk, espicially the former factor. A company should take into account the contribution once made by the veteran, even though their age gradually become the barrier of outstanding-performance. Under such a security-system, the youth will feel it is garanteed to work here without the concern of future earning-degradation, as long as they dedicate to work as deligent as possible.

For well-known instances, Japanese companies commonly take the time-acceleration salary and promotion system. An employee, however expertise or ordinary worker, could get package=plus and position-promotion accompany with the prolonged service time. So Japanese employees generally behave much steady and loyal to their company, and this culture enduce Japanese companies competitive in worldwide-range. But at same time, the disadvantages of this system are concentrated in recent years——a great number of Japanese employees become inert, lacy, and low-efficient, hampering the development of the company.

In sum, it is not a
            effictive solution to obsoletely adopt the performance-package system or the age-package system. The package system should simutaneously consider these two factors in accordance with the actual internal and external environment faced to a company, and it is a case-by-case topic.

感觉说到最后似乎意犹未尽阿，中间的内容可以再展开写，不然只有不到300字实在不够。

先谢斑竹辛苦，大头好人啊。。

还是底子不行啊，这点字还鳖了我４５分钟。别人是指哪写哪，我只能写哪算哪。。。。哎，失望了，难道AWA注定在３分以下吗