一篇作文，大家给点建议，我觉得快写进死胡同了

“Self-education is the foundation of success.”believed by Confucius, a great educator and philosopher in anciant China. Now, with the rapid development of the technology(the rapidly developing technology), the skill of self-education is playing(plays) a significant role for people to get success. And (not a good idea to start a sentence with "and')innumerable personalities(characters or celebrities) have given us persuasive instances(examples is better).

Abraham Lincoln, one of the greatest presidents in the U.S. history, is an illustrative example. Lincoln grew up in a destitute family. His father and step-mother were absorbed in daily toils, and couldn’t teach him anything except for clearing forests. However, young Lincoln seemed to show a natural desire in books and knowledge. Since the book was scarce in the frontier, Lincoln borrowed books from various resources and read them by the light of the fire in his father’s cabin. Lincoln’s extraordinary self-education prepared him to pursue a successful political career in the future.

Aside from Lincoln, Chalse Dickens, the greatest English novelist in the 19^th century, also gives us a persuative example.(is another persuasive example) Chalse Dickens grew up in a destitute family just like Lincoln, and had to drop out of school at the age of 12. With the education he received from school and his parents were non-exsistence(had passed away?), Chalse show(ed) an extraordinary ability of self-education. While working as a errant boy in a legal office, Chalse taught himself legal shorthand, and got b better job as a court and parliament reporter as a result. These jobs gave Chalse a chance to observe a wide range of people, which laid the foundation in his future work.

(new paragraph)Since numerous personalities’s(characters') experience(s) has showed the importance of self-education, I totally(virtually, totally is too oral and informal)believed that the self-education is the very skill which would lead to success. Just as the president of Heibei University said,”(")Not only is self-educating a necessary ability for the contemperary students to master, it is also a sword for you to face the challenging and constantly changing society").

Generally you have good content, right punctuation, and good choice of words.
     Congratulations. U need to just focus on how to select better words in your essays.