185第一篇 请大家拍砖

Each September, after fierce competition, millions of students go to university, when asked why attending college or university, they may give millions of answers. A boy who comes from a poor family may tell you that attending uni* will change his destiny. A richer girl’ answer is simply, she only wants to have opportunity to read more books, make more friends. When it comes to me, I think the main reason why so many people choose university is complicated.       

No issue is more important now than the one that it is easier to find a job for somebody if he or she has higher education background. Nowadays, you can hardly find a job if you only have middle school diploma. What’s more, if you want to have a good job, if you want to earn more money and have a better working surroundings, attending university maybe your best choice. My best friend went to job immediately after she finished her higher middle school courses, there are only several jobs can be chosen, finally she go to the KFC to be a waitress. However, my other friends and I, who have attended college, had many choices after our graduation last summer. Jim  realized his dream to be a teacher. Lily went to a computer company as a IT engineer. And I went to grad school to receive further education.

Broadening one’s vision is another head and chief one I have chosen to put here, there are millions of books in the library, some of which are so valuable that you can hardly buy in the book store. you can also enjoy famous professors’ lecture, and the university will invite so many scholars to give you presentations.

Last but not the least, in university, you can enjoy a colorful life in the campus, there are lots of clubs so you can find a group of people who have the same habits. I joined a chess club when I was a freshman, and every weekend, we play chess together.

To sum up, though the tuition of university is very high in China, it is wise to attend the university.           

Each September, after fierce competition, millions of students go to university, when asked why attending college or university, they may give millions of answers.（MM的这句有点中式英文的感觉） A boy who comes from a poor family may tell you that attending uni* will change his destiny. （最好别用第二人称。那样会像教导式~）A richer girl’ answer is simply, she only wants to have opportunity to read more books, make more friends. When it comes to me, I think the main reason why so many people choose university is complicated.      

No issue is more important now（？） than（这个地方语法是不是有问题？） the one that it is easier to find a job for somebody if he or she has higher education background. Nowadays, （时间指代不明。）you can hardly find a job if you only have middle school diploma. What’s more, if you want to have a good job, if you want to earn more money and have a better working surroundings, attending university maybe your best choice. My best friend went to job immediately after she finished her higher middle school courses, there are
        （这个句式要少用哦~在抽象意义上不是很合适~）only several jobs can be chosen, finally she go(went) to the KFC to be a waitress.

先改这部分。不好意思，改的地方颜色用的比较明显。我不是很确定我改得是不是正确。MM请仔细斟酌过哦。别听偶地片面之词。

thanks very much 第一次写 因为总觉写作很困难，所以刚够字数就结尾了

My pleasure.^-^

加油~！