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[原创]马上考试了 也不管丢脸了`` 发篇30分钟计时写完的作文 希望各位大虾随意发表意见 顺便score一下

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楼主
发表于 2006-9-12 03:47:00 | 只看该作者

[原创]马上考试了 也不管丢脸了`` 发篇30分钟计时写完的作文 希望各位大虾随意发表意见 顺便score一下

History and Literature Vs science and mathematic

                   By Alex

In today’s society, students have to stay in the school in which they are simultaneously guests and prisoners, and they are required to learn a variety of subjects. Some people believe that history and literature are more important parts for them than science and mathematics are, while others hold entirely opposite opinion on that. According to own comprehension, I totally agree with the former because students will know more of themselves and form a better personality with the help of these subjects.  

The accumulation of human experience in a specific region becomes a civilization of the human race. Through time it is history; through documents and pictures it is literature. It is obvious that if concerning about these two things, the students will comprehend better their own culture. For example, an American student has learnt about American history & literature and successfully captured what his previous generations think about. Thus he could be able to understand why he deals with many things and makes fewer mistakes. It is certain that under the instruction or help of history and literature, students will become more successful in knowing themselves, especially their behaviors. In other words, history and literature help students to better grasp their own culture.

 

Besides, history and literature can help students to build up their own personality. They can provide students with a better background. If students develop their own personality and add something personalized, they can improve a proper personal worldview so that they can benefit from it all their lives. For example, when Chairman Mao was very young, he was interested in Chinese history and denied science education. Accustoming himself to a persistent personality and devouring in communism, he became a very eminent poet and developed his own political view. At last, both his poems and political achievements are appreciated by Chinese people. To be brief, understanding one’s own history and literature can help students to gradually fashion their own personality.

 

To sum up, literature and history are important in individual development while science subjects are more boring because of its accuracy and unchangeability. Although I cannot say that science subjects worth nothing, I believe that students will benefit more from history and literature.

沙发
发表于 2006-9-12 04:55:00 | 只看该作者

good

26+

板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2006-9-14 05:29:00 | 只看该作者

哦? 真的?  山街班主  评个分阿...

 

 

地板
发表于 2006-9-14 09:46:00 | 只看该作者
实在抱歉,其实我的英语功底也一般,作文算我软肋,不便评分。

不过帮顶一下。
5#
发表于 2006-9-14 10:53:00 | 只看该作者
个人之见,还望与楼主讨论,请指正。

我觉得总的来说还不错,但有一些错误,虽不大,但有些影响文章通顺以及表达作者的意思。

1. Through time it is history; through documents and pictures it is literature. 这个定义有些牵强。历史有何尝不是通过文档,图片等来记录的?作者的意思说得不太明了。另外"it"在这儿指代不明,是指文化吗?

2. It is obvious that if concerning about these two things, the students will comprehend better their own culture.
if不应跟动名词吧?另外better的位置不好,应该是 the students will comprehend their own culture better. 同样的在此段的最后一句,
history and literature help students to better grasp their own culture
此句
是否可改成:
It is obvious that the students will comprehend their own culture better if the concern more about these two things.

3. For example,an American student...
应该跟实际的例子,我觉得作者在这里还是在讲一个普遍地观点,而不是实例。另外在第三段作者举了毛主席的例子,但我觉得,托福作文的评分人员是美国人,这样的例子很难引起共鸣,所以除非实在没有,还是要尽量选一些美国人比较熟悉的例子。

4. 第二段,作者的论述说明了“学习历史和文学有现实的指导意义”,
under the instruction or help of history
and literature, students will become more successful in knowing
themselves, especially their behaviors.
但好像最终说得是“学习历史和文学会有助于掌握本民族文化”In other words, history and literature help students to better grasp their own culture.给人的感觉有些乱,好像“knowing themselves, especially their behaviors”就是“grasp their own culture”的重要方面。

呵呵,挑了这么多毛病,虽然我的水平也很水,但就像球迷评球一样,虽然自己踢不好也是要说几句,见笑了。


6#
发表于 2006-9-14 11:10:00 | 只看该作者
lz都是牛人。这么好的作文看了顶一个。
7#
发表于 2006-9-14 11:59:00 | 只看该作者
这个sunnysmell看得真是细心啊。。。
8#
发表于 2006-9-14 12:04:00 | 只看该作者

感觉有些牵强 

thus好象不能用句首...

9#
发表于 2006-9-14 12:18:00 | 只看该作者
Hope you could get more than 14
10#
发表于 2006-9-14 12:22:00 | 只看该作者

i mean 14 marks soory about telling u that

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