TWE043-请大家帮忙修改一下！

TWE 043 Why do you think some people are attracted to dangerous sports or other dangerous activities? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

Nowadays, there is a increase in the number of people who are fascinated with dangerous activities, such as iceberg hiking, rock climbing, and sky diving. If we are seeking for the reasons of this phenomena, in my point of view, people’s need to have relief after tedious work, the desire to approve themselves in certain aspect and the satisfactory for the accomplishment can give us a clear explanation. And my viewpoint will be strongly supported by the following discussion.

We may look into every possible reason. However, the first and foremost argument that I have chosen to develop my idea is that people get addicted to these dangerous activities to have relief after the tedious work. Along with the economic development, people’s nerves are getting more and more stressed by the heavy work load and demanding requirements. They have to relax themselves and get recharged to maintain a balance. The dangerous activities provide them opportunities to keep fully concentrated on something other than the thought of work. Let us take an example as illustration. When a person is climbing rocks, the only thought in his mind is how to get to the top save and sound, and he will no longer dwell on the boring information data or confusing marketing analysis.

In addition, there is another premier reason, which is not too far to seek, for me to confirm my preposition: people have a chance to approve themselves in the capability by doing the dangerous sports. During the process of such activities, not only the participants’ physical conditions are undergoing severe challenge, but also their mental perseverance is also challenged. When the people finally get to the spot of accomplishment, they will be extremely satisfied by approving their physical as well as mental ability other than work capability.

All in all, people are attracted to dangerous sports or other dangerous activities for the relief after hard work and to approve themselves. I am going to join their group too!

全篇328个字，历时刚刚三十分钟，由于开头写得时间太长，结尾非常仓促，请大家帮忙修改一下，顺便评评分。谢谢！