写作成长史

becky2014 · 发表于 2014-9-1 15:23:58

9.1独立写作
You can know a lot about a person through the types of friends this person has

Nowadays communication and interaction among people are becoming rare for us to know each other, and people tend to equip themselves in a way that they think can protect them and look sophisticated outside especially in their career, and people don’t know each other well even in the same class. Then there is an obvious question that how we can know more about a person. For me I believe that we can know a lot about a person through the types of friends this person has.

There is an old saying that the person is what his or her friends look like. It can not be denied that this belief is true in most cases. Since people are more likely to get along with others who have some same qualities with them, they feel more comfortable and willing to accept this kind of people. In this way it’s reasonable for us to know a person through the types of his or her friends. For me, I tend to make friends who have something that I admire and who have the same interests with me. Thus if you want to know more about me, then you can observe the types of my friends, some of them are hardworking which I think is a good quality and we have in common, some of them who I should learn from are wise to make every decision and popular among their friends. Through my friends, you can see that I am the person who wants to be better and work hard. In this way you won’t make a wrong impression on me.

The second reason is that it is the nature of people to show his or her good side when making friends with others, and sometimes they even lie to you especially in their appearances which always make a trick on people. Since appearances always can be made up perfectly by a nice dress or a fashionable hair style when there is a need, the look can’t represent what kind of person he or she is. Further we are usually willing to trust the good-looking people and believe they are nice. Taking myself for example, I am a strong girl inside, but my look often tricks others. For I am not tall or look strong outside, as a consequence, people who see me at the first glace thought I need more protection and help in many ways, while I am super independent in daily life. What’s more, I sometimes behave better to attract others when I want to make friends with them, but I am really not that way with my real friends.

The last not the least, your friends around you can be your tag which can show who you are really, and they can’t make any trick on us. We can observe what types of friends a person has, and then we can recognize that person. If a person is mean, his or her friends are more likely to have the same temper with him or her; If a person is warm-hearted, then his or her friends of course are nice and generous.

Because not everyone is so wise that all friends of him or her are as good as him or her, knowing a person through his or her friends won’t be a precise way, but it will be a convenient, efficient and good method for us to try. But we still can know who you are from the friends around you.

综合写作
In the passage, the author believes that there are many disadvantages among people who are reading non-literature novels, while the women professor in the listening has different opinions and cast doubt on the previous idea.

First of all, the author in the reading holds the idea that it's unfortunate for readers to give up reading literature novels shapely, and in this way readers will miss so many merits that literature gives them, such as exercising their imaginations. On the opposite, the women in listening says that different kinds of book can also provide readers many benefits that literature has, for example reading history and science book can boost readers' imaginations too.

Secondly, contrary to the belief in the reading passage that people now spent more time on lowed-level entertainment. The women in the listening says that current cultures change a lot rather than just books and have varied versions, for example a brilliant music and a fantastic movie can also have many benefits for readers.

Finally, the author in the reading makes a point that the decline in book reading has a bad effect on many talented writers, because the publishers tend to invest less money on literature. However the professor disputes that it is the author of literature who should be blamed since they just write their books using many difficult words and sentences, thus it's more difficult for readers to understand it and then they lose interest in it.

loverony713 · 发表于 2014-9-1 22:41:12

下回来个word哟

becky2014 · 发表于 2014-9-1 22:49:58

loverony713 发表于 2014-9-1 22:41
下回来个word哟

okok..

你gmat考了多少啊。。我还要考gmat

loverony713 · 发表于 2014-9-1 23:24:00

becky2014 发表于 2014-9-1 22:49
okok..你gmat考了多少啊。。我还要考gmat

我10月再考！！~ 因为数学拉后腿- - 哎语文还是很好的....

becky2014 · 发表于 2014-9-2 07:55:29

loverony713 发表于 2014-9-1 23:24
我10月再考！！~ 因为数学拉后腿- - 哎语文还是很好的....

我语文不好，数学上次满分。。。哦哦那个你的Word我看不了，你能在你的写作那里贴下你的作文么，麻烦了。

loverony713 · 发表于 2014-9-2 08:46:26

becky2014 发表于 2014-9-2 07:55
我语文不好，数学上次满分。。。哦哦那个你的Word我看不了，你能在你的写作那里贴下你的作文么，麻烦了。 ...

哦啦~~ 那我们互补一下吧哈哈数学老考不好= =气死我了= = 语文就是多做题吧~！！！！！

becky2014 · 发表于 2014-9-2 12:24:04

loverony713 发表于 2014-9-2 08:46
哦啦~~ 那我们互补一下吧哈哈数学老考不好= =气死我了= = 语文就是多做题吧~！！！！！ ...

嗯嗯。。数学我真心推荐看数学Bible！！哎语文看Manhattan都看了3遍了，千行也看了2遍了，再看都要泪奔了，不过我做题确实做的少。你做了多少啊，GWD都做了么？

loverony713 · 发表于 2014-9-2 18:26:57

综合写作
In the passage, the author believes that there are many disadvantages among people（人有劣势? 应该说文学作品阅读量的减少，也就是这个现象，是有害的） who are reading non-literature novels, while the women professor (哈哈我觉得直接说pro就可以了)in the listening has different opinions and cast（三单） doubt on the previous idea.

First of all, the author in the reading holds the idea that it's unfortunate for readers to give up reading literature novels shapely, and in this way readers will miss so many merits that literature gives them（1merit是被给予的 2显得有点啰嗦这句话）, such as exercising their imaginations. On the opposite, the women in listening says that different kinds of book（最好说那些不是文学作品的书然后直接加例子比较好也比较顺） can also provide readers many benefits that literature has, for example reading history and science book can boost readers' imaginations too.（听力的内容太少了吧？阅读的内容可以少些一点哟！）

Secondly, contrary to （注意用法看看prep08 SC吧）the belief in the reading passage that people now spent more time on lowed-level entertainment（阅读中没有出现这个不能自己归类吧）. （不能是句号）The women in the listening says （多用几个几个替换词汇）that current cultures （has 用完成时）change a lot rather than（rather than前后不可比啊！） just books and have varied versions, for example a brilliant music and a fantastic movie can also have many benefits （不够具体多写点听力里面的内容）for readers.（这句话读懂什么意思了感觉写的不够简洁不够具体）

Finally, the author in the reading makes a point that the decline in book reading has a bad effect on many talented writers, because the publishers tend to invest less money on literature.（阅读最重要的是thus后面的那句话吧？） However the professor disputes that it is the author of literature who should be blamed since they（指代单数author？） just write their books using many difficult words and sentences（感觉应该说的是内容难而不是写长难句吧你的意思是他们故意用难词难句）, thus it's more difficult for readers to understand it（it具体化指modern literature） and then they lose interest in it.
【以下来自大牛你参考一下内容】
阅读部分需要提取的观点是：
Main point: 文学作品阅读量的减少对于读者、文化和文学的发展都是有害的
Sub point 1: 文学作品阅读量减少对于读者是有害的
Sub point 2: 文学作品阅读量降低文化水平
Sub point 3: 文学作品阅读量减少导致文学创作减少

听力笔记内容：
Main point: 阅读部分的说法不成立
Sub point one: 人们虽然读文学书少，但是可以在其他类型的书籍中获益
Sub point two: 除了文学作品之外，音乐和电影也是很好的文化传播方式
Sub point three: 文学作品的支持减少不是因为读者阅读减少，而是因为作者的问题。

提示：
这篇文章阅读部分的分论点集中于每段段尾。尽管在独立写作中我们不推荐这种写法，但是这是完全符合essay的写作要求的。选择分论点的时候不可以想当然地选择段首句，而是要仔细阅读，筛选分析。方法呢，看以前的解析吧。
在反驳的过程中，前两点是直接反驳缺点，陈述说缺点并不存在。而第三点，这是“另寻他因”：文学出版减少的原因不是因为读者不读书，而是作者的问题。反驳角度不同，不可以想当然。

loverony713 · 发表于 2014-9-2 18:28:21

becky2014 发表于 2014-9-2 12:24
嗯嗯。。数学我真心推荐看数学Bible！！哎语文看Manhattan都看了3遍了，千行也看了2遍了，再看都要泪奔了 ...

GWD用来模考哦看了你的作文语法需要加强呀！！！！！

loverony713 · 发表于 2014-9-2 18:34:51

Nowadayscommunication and interaction among people are becomingrare for us to know each other（感觉有点别扭从语法上来说too...to...用法更好？从意思上来说现在的交流和互动并不少啊不能算是大背景吧）, and people tend to equip themselves in away that they think can protect them and look sophisticated outside especiallyin their career, and people don’t know each other well even in the same class.(这句话太长啦两个and带来的完整的句子可以改成从句形式) Then（关于then引起的因果联系我觉得逻辑上不是很缜密比如一个看起来睿智我们是可以判断他是一个什么样的人的你是想说人善于伪装吧）there is an obvious question that how we canknow more about a person. For me I believe that we can know a lot about aperson through the types of friends this person has.

There is anold saying that the person is what his or her friends look like. It can not（中间没有空格） be denied that this belief is true in mostcases. Since people are more likely to get along with others who have some samequalities with them, they feel more comfortable and willing to accept this kindof people. In this way it’s reasonable for us to know a person through thetypes of his or her friends. For me, I tend to make friends who have somethingthat I admire and who have the same interests with me. Thus if you want to know more about me, then you can observe the typesof my friends（有点啰嗦）, some of them are hardworking which I thinkis a good quality and we have in common, some of them who I should learn fromare wise to make every decision andpopular among their friends.（逗号之间没有连词） Through my friends, you can see that I amthe person who wants to be better and workshard. In this way you won’t make a wrong impression on me. 举例有点少。你的逻辑是“因为我的朋友....所以我….“ 应该说我很喜欢和这样的人在一起，而不和其他类型的在一起，所以你能从我的朋友判断我是怎样的人，这样比较有说服力。

The secondreason is that it is the nature of people to show his or her good side whenmaking friends with others, and sometimes they even lie to you especially intheir appearances which always make a trick on people. Since appearances alwayscan be made up perfectly by a nice dress or a fashionable hair style when thereis a need, the look can’t represent whatkind of person he or she is. Further we areusually willing to trust the good-looking people and believe they are nice.Taking myself for example, I am a strong girl inside, but my look often tricksothers. For I am not tall or look strong outside, as a consequence, people whosee me at the first glace thought I need more protection and help in many ways,while I am super independent in daily life. What’s more, I sometimes behavebetter to attract others when I want to make friends with them, but I am reallynot that way with my real friends.

（首先主题句是什么？看完这段字面意思我懂但是写的有点隐晦。如果你想说不能从一个人的外表判断一个人的性格，那论述有点薄弱。因为题目问的是能不能通过朋友来判断。总之这一段需要主题句加论述…）

The last notthe least, your friends around you can be your tag which can show who you arereally, and they can’t make any trick on us. We can observe what types offriends a person has, and then we can recognize that person.（这句话十分重复） If a person is mean, his or herfriends are more likely to have the same temper with him or her; If a person iswarm-hearted, then his or her friends of course are nice and generous. （后面的例子看懂了 你是想说朋友之间应该是性格差不多吧 但是你的主题句没有表现出这一点 可以写的更加直接 ）

Because noteveryone is so wise that all friends of him or her are as good as him or her,knowing a person through his or her friends won’t be a precise way, but it （it不能指代一件事）will be a convenient, efficient and good methodfor us to try. But we still can know whoyou are from the friends around you.

(最后一段就不要让步啦！直接写你的观点就好了！)

写作成长史

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS

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