TPO16综合

19911006 · 发表于 2013-8-23 21:00:01

In the reading material, there are 3 problems of archaeology. However, none of them is convinced in the lecture due to the new guidelines.

First, the professor disagree with the view that many valuable artifacts were lost to construction projects. Before the new construction starts, examinations have been taken on the value of the cite. What’s more, the preservation plans will be worked out by both government and archaeologists, and then the construction will be carried out around the site. Hence, the assumption of careless destruction of archaeology is un warranted.

Second, the professor thinks that we should not worry about the inadequate financial support in that archaeology works will be paid by construction company instead of government. This is a new rule of this field. The company are likely to pay for the examination of the site. In addition, other preservation works are also responsible by the company. therefore the situation of research will be promoted by providing a large part of fund..

Third, the professor believe that the new guideline supports quite a lot of paid work of archaeology, which is not like the statement in the reading material. Many people will be employed in many diverse works such as examination, protection. Besides, the job opportunities has been the highest ever before. So the new rule largely expands the shrinking job pool of this field.

19911006 · 发表于 2013-8-24 20:48:08

Student could get benefit from student organization and club activities as much as their academic studies.

提纲：同意
Reason：1.锻炼能力
培养兴趣
不但不影响学业，还会有助于学业
时间：30m 字数：403
Nowadays, there are diverse student organization and clubs in the universities, which enrich students’daily life. Actually, I believe that students are able to obtain benefit from them, because it is a good way to practice ourselves.

First of all, these organization is a stage to cultivate ability so that you could be competent to your job in the future. Now, no one is isolated, every one should have communication with others or corporate with other people in some fields. In addition, if you have opportunities to be leader, the ability of organizing is crucial for leadership. For example, one of my friends, Tom, he was the chairman of student union before graduation. During his college life, he organized attracting activities, he has learned how to have a word with others, how to corporate with different kind of persons. So when he graduated from university, he found a high-salary work easily and made progress in his position. Hence, no one could deny that it is these outstanding ability that helps my friend make difference.

Secondly, clubs is the catalyst to help you find what you are interested in. For students, especially for freshman, it is hard for them to find the direction of future. By joining the club or organization, they may find what they are curious about and finally devote themselves to this field. For instance, Steve Jobs, the founder of apple, when he was a junior in university, he participated some clubs. In these club, he learned how to appreciate a painting, how to write beautiful characters. Many years later, he designed the production called Iphone due to the sense of art, which was wide praised around the world. Therefore, club is the first step to make a link to your curiosity.

Maybe someone think that taking part in club will have a negative impact on academic study. Admittedly, it is difficult for some people to keep the balance between the academic career and the activities. However, in my view, I state that activities are assistant of academic study because it is a good chance to exam the theory what you have learned from class. What’s more, you may correct some argument by putting them into practice when referring to activities of club. So we need to consider more about activities.

To sum up, student can get benefit from activities, it is defined as another form of studying.

laneesherry · 发表于 2013-8-25 03:24:11

19911006 发表于 2013-8-24 20:48
Student could get benefit from student organization and club activities as much as their academic st ...

蓝色的地方是个人意见及建议
红色是强烈建议修改的地方
黄色高亮是好词好句

Nowadays, there are diverse student organization and clubs in the universities, which enrich students’daily life. Actually, I believe that students are able to obtain benefit from them, because it is a good way to practice ourselves.（开门见山的开头，不好不坏）

First of all, these organization is a stage to cultivate ability so that you could be competent to your job in the future. Now, no one is isolated, every one should have communication with others or corporate with other people in some fields. In addition, if you have opportunities to be leader, the ability of organizing is crucial for leadership. For example, one of my friends, Tom, he was the chairman of student union before graduation. During his college life, he organized attracting activities, he has learned how to have a word with others, how to corporate with different kind of persons. So when he graduated from university, he found a high-salary work easily and made progress in his position. Hence, no one could deny that it is these outstanding ability that helps my friend make difference. （非常标准的议论段~，总结句也很简单明了。）

Secondly, clubs is the catalyst to help you find what you are interested in. For students, especially for freshman, it is hard for them to find the direction of future. By joining the club or organization, they may find what they are curious about and finally devote themselves to this field. For instance, Steve Jobs, the founder of apple（Apple，公司名称大写）, when he was a junior in university, he participated some clubs. In these club, he learned how to appreciate a painting, how to write beautiful characters. Many years later, he designed the production called Iphone due to the sense of art, which was wide praised around the world. Therefore, club is the first step to make a link to your curiosity.（这个例子好棒！）

Maybe someone think that taking part in club will have a negative impact on academic study. Admittedly, it is difficult for some people to keep the balance between the academic career and the activities. However, in my view, I state that activities are assistant of academic study because it is a good chance to exam the theory what you have learned from class. What’s more, you may correct some argument by putting them into practice when referring to activities of club. So we need to consider more about activities.（本段是让步段，建议还是统一一下里面的主语吧，一会儿people一会儿you，有点chinglish 的感觉）

To sum up, student can get benefit from activities, it is defined as another form of studying.

改完之后才发现这位原来是Abide。。。
这篇文章有好多地方值得我去学习啊

TPO16综合

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS

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