那位高手给我的作文品评分，和建议建议，谢了

一月六日考，刚把模板找好，试写一篇（一字没改），时间不够，只好写了两个reasons，心中惶惶然不知所以然。目标5分

The issue of whether to pay money or trade products for the things they want or need is a controversial one. Facing this question, different people present different viewpoints due to their respective standpoints.  Some people state that trading products for what they need is more direct. Others, on the contrary, may choose paying money because it is convenient. As far as I am concerned, of the two opinions, I would rather agree with the latter than the former.

Paying money for what we want, first of all, is more convenient. Unlike trading products or goods for what we want, you can pay money for the things no matter where you want to buy or when you need the stuff. Especially, when you travel to a distance place, money is easier to bring with you than goods. For example, if you have a chance to the United States for a business trip, it is quite difficult to image that you bring some goods, such as ducks and desks, to prepare to trade for your living in a hotel or eating in a restaurent. By comparision, paying money is more practical. Moreover, you will be able to use credit card instead of the money.

More important, it is easier to calculate the value by paying money for goods. Because some goods is hard to divide into small pieces, such as houses or TV sets, you will find it is difficult to trade them if you are planning to buy a small goods, such as paper or eggs. As a result, you have to trade them to much paper or other things that you do not need.

Of course, there is no denying that trading products for what we need has a couple of advantages, such as directly exchange. But if all of factors are contemplated together, the advantages of paying money carry more weight than trading goods. Therefore, it is safe for me to draw the conclusion that paying money for what we need is more preferable.

目前的水平好像5份还差了点。我提几个意见，你参考一下

1。有些句子语法没有错，但不流畅，意思也不太明白，比如The issue of whether to pay money or trade products for the things they want or need is a controversial one. 是指购买/以货易货吗？句式也有些单一。建议背几个倒装的，主动变被动的，双重否定，还有the more...the more...

2，用词有些单一：Paying money for what we want（need), first of all, is more convenient. Unlike trading(exchange) products or goods for what we want, you(a customer) can pay money for the things no matter where you want to buy(purchase) or when you need the stuff

3, 先不要再第一段展开，把理由写好了，有时间，再往第一段加some...others....

4。6号考，时间不多了，练好第一段，各段首句，多用复杂句；其余的，首先是把句子写流畅，想不出有把握的复杂句，就用简单句。

5。新年快乐

十分感谢hncsxj