题目：People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.
提纲：不同意。
理由一：当代社会的人从小被教育又要责任感。例子：说我自己在大学，虽然有很有闲散的时间，但还是多数用来学习
理由二：当代社会节奏快，很多公司对员工都有很严厉的规定，员工都非常繁忙，根本不可能做自己想做的事
理由三：想做自己喜欢的事必须有一定的物质基础，所以我们需要先工作挣钱才能做自己喜欢的事
正文：
The growing prosperity of the nation has placed an emphasis on materialism and hedonism, creating a generation of youth that pay close attention to personal entertainment. It’s seems plausible to say that people today place a high premium on amusement. While can we say that modern people prefer do things they like to do rather than doing things they should do? I can hardly agree. To begin with, our generation grew up understanding that one person should be responsible and reliable. No matter my parents or my teachers always required me to finish my personal work on time. Personally speaking, even in university, I don’t have heavy study assignment and pressure. I also like travel, shopping, playing computer games very much as most of college students today, while I never spent much time on entertainment. On the contrary, I often do my research in the library and do experiments in the lab. I cherish the opportunity that I can go to university and receive the high education. I prefer to assert that modern people have a cleaner plan and they will enjoy some amusement on conditional that they finished their personal work. What’s more, in this fast-paced and pragmatic society, almost all companies have a severe requirement on their staff in order to make much profit. My uncle is an obvious example. He live in Beijing the capital of china and he work in an insurance company. He gets up at six o’clock to avoid being late. The company seems to arrange him plentiful of assignments and in my eyes my uncle is always very busy, of course has no time to have some entertainment. All of my family members suggest my uncle to change a more relaxed job and do more things him like to do. My uncle refused our proposition because he knows it will be very costly when my little brother attends to school. Modern people undertake tremendous pressure they have less time and chance to do things they like to do. Another essential and compelling argument that always deserves people’s attention is that great material wealth exerts great influences on today people’s life. If we want to do some things we like to do we must finish much more monotonous and burdensome work at first. My friend Sandy likes travel very much. She often goes to different places on holidays. Traveling is a big cost for our students so she takes several part time jobs at school. She is very busy and tried I often saw her did her homework at mid-night. As a proverb said “there’s no such thing as a free lunch”. If we want to enjoy the life we like we must accomplish things we should to do at first. Taking into account of all the factors discussed above, we may reach the conclusion that people today don’t spend too much time on personal enjoyment. If they do they must finished their personal assignments at first.
需要大家帮你侧重修改的点：
第一次求批改，自己的英语基础不好，语法知识不太懂，很多地方也不知道用的对不对，特别是在例子的描述上，觉得自己用词特别单调，不知道有什么办法可以改进。
每次写作的例子也感觉不是特别好找，大家觉得我的例子牵强不啊？
考了两次托福了，第一次作文是50年前养小孩比现在容易。第二次是人不能总是对朋友诚实。我感觉例子都不是特别好找，纠结啊！
希望大家能指出我应该加强什么部分，大家不要客气，呜呜，我做好心理准备啦，求狠批  | 
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发表于 2013-8-2 12:38:00
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