Tim 的作文专帖，各种求拍砖

huangtan · 发表于 2013-4-3 19:06:15

4.3独立：The only effective way to encourage energy conservation is by increasing prices of gasoline and electricity. Do you agree or disagree?

Undeniably most of the modern achievements and progress are attained at the cost of various fossilized fuel, such the limit resourses as petrileuo and gasoline. Apparently, the day that humanbeings run out of the resources on earth will finally come, consequently, people have proposed several methods to save evergy, one of the seeming effective way to achieve that aim is uplifting the proces of electricity and gasoline. HOwevert, does this only really work? I tend to hold the view that only by combining other efficient ways with increasing proces can we ultimately reach the goal of conservation of energy.

To begin with, the government is obliged to get involved in the campaign of energy saving and environment protecitng- i.e., the government may foster the mind of energy saving among ordinary people. For example, a enegy-saving department can be established specifically for the aim of encouraging people to use those green products and form the low-carbon habit intentionally, the department's duty ranges from introducing enviroment-friendly products to every family to propagating the basic kowledge of how to conserving energy. On the other hand, the government may take legal measures to restric the utilization of automobiles on road.

Moreover, since evergy coservation is merely for the public interest, thus it is not unfounded for the government to invest money in the researching of energy-saving vehicles and supporting the development of pe\otential new energy that is both available and abundant on earth. As the old saying goes, the best way to defend is by fighting away enemises, so it is feasible in the battle of energy saving, the more effective way to gain more energy is developing other forms of energy such as wind and solar power, and hydropower. However, carrting on these cutting-edge research not only calls for excellent and pioneering scientists, but also high-tech facilities and top labs, none of these expenditure can be afforded by any ordinary caompany, hence the government is obligatory to pay the bill of researching and development.

As stated above, simply increasing the prices of energy cannot lead to the decrease of exploitation of elctricity and gasoline and other fossilized resources, the government ought to take some strong steps to fullfil the formidable task of saving energy thereby reinforcing the consciousness of saving energy and allocating more financial aid to new energy researching。

jay871750293 · 发表于 2013-4-4 00:15:22

4.3独立：The only effective way to encourage energy conservation is by increasing prices of gasoline and electricity. Do you agree or disagree?

Undeniably most of the modern achievements and progress are attained at the cost of various fossilized fuel, such the limit limited（查了一下longman，limit好像没有形容词的意思） resourses recourse（查了longman，recourse是不可数名词，应该不用加s吧，Tim要不再确认一下？）as petrileuo petroleum and gasoline. Apparently, the day that human beings run out of the resources recourse on earth will finally come, and（感觉要加and，consequently单独不能作连词连接2个句子吧…）consequently, people have proposed several methods to save evergy energy, one of the seeming effective way to achieve that aim is uplifting the proces prices of electricity and gasoline. HOwevert However, does this only（仅仅凭感觉觉得alone比only更好） really work? I tend to hold the view that only by combining other efficient ways with increasing proces prices can we ultimately reach the goal of conservation of energy.

To begin with, the government is obliged to get involved in the campaign of energy saving and environment protecitng-protection(觉得protect有名词形式就最好用名词形式) i.e., the government may foster the mind of energy saving among ordinary people. For example, a enegy energy-saving department can be established specifically for the aim of encouraging people to use those green products and form the low-carbon habit intentionally, the department's duty ranges from introducing environment envrionment-friendly products to every family to propagating the basic kowledge knowledge of how to conserving energy （感觉of后面不能加how的从句，但how后面又不是从句，我尝试着改一下哈，of way to conserve energy，但感觉又改变了原句意思，要不Tim再想想看吧…）. On the other hand, the government may take legal measures to restric restrict the utilization of automobiles on road. （感觉中间那一段绿色、低碳、环保的理论有点离题，我觉得节能与上面那些词语还是有区别吧…）

Moreover, since evergy coservation energy conservation is merely mainly(觉得我们自己提出的观点里最好不要有太绝对的说法，比如merely或only，这一般出现在题干里) for the public interest, thus it is not unfounded for the government to invest money in the researching research（同理，research有名词意思就用原型就好了） of energy-saving vehicles and supporting to support （我想的是与前面的to invest对应）the development of pe\otential potential new energy that is both available and abundant on earth. As the old saying goes, the best way to defend is by fighting away enemises enemies, so it is feasible in the battle of energy saving. In addition,（我觉得后面应该单独成一句话了） the more effective way to gain more energy is developing other forms of energy such as wind and solar power, and hydropower. However, carrting carrying on these cutting-edge research not only calls for excellent and pioneering scientists, but also high-tech facilities and top labs, none of these expenditure can be afforded by any ordinary caompany company, hence the government is obligatory to pay the bill of researching research and development.

As stated above, simply increasing the prices of energy cannot lead to the decrease of exploitation of elctricity electricity and gasoline and other fossilized fossil （感觉原型就可以了）resources. In conclusion,（后面应该独立成一句哈） the government ought to take some strong steps to fullfil fulfill the formidable task of saving energy thereby reinforcing the consciousness of saving energy and allocating more financial aid to new energy researching research.

Tim文章里energy saving出现的有点多，看能不能换点表达方式，不过这个我也积累不多…
发现有些地方没有断句，两个完整的句子用逗号直接连接了，要注意哈~
另外，可能是打字太快了吧，错别字有点多，要注意一下哦~
最后，有点晚了可能眼睛也有点花了，如果有问题发消息给我吧~

这个回复里有些显示不出来，再贴上word版哈~

huangtan · 发表于 2013-4-4 13:36:00

jay871750293 发表于 2013-4-4 00:15
4.3独立：The only effective way to encourage energy conservation is by increasing prices of gasoline ...

thanks a lot

huangtan · 发表于 2013-4-4 21:08:51

4.4+综合（tpo16）

Integrated Writing：
TPO16

The reading passage examines the issue of whether the science of archaeology was undermined by the serious problems in Britain, the lecturer explores the same issue. However, she asserts that the new guidelines would facilitate the development of archaeology in the Uk instead of weakening it, which clashes with what the reading passage claims.

First, even though the reading passage suggests that many valuable artifacts were damaged and lost in construction projects whose aim is to provide more houses and buildings to the growing population, and the lecturer put forward the rebuttal that it just would not happen on the ground that the new guidelines regarding to archaeology will guarante the security of the valuable sites, because the guidelines make it a rule that prior to the construciton of the new building, the site specific to the building should be examined if there are archeaological sites, if there are, people have to either move the building to other irrelavant places or excavate the cherished antiques before the construction.

Second, in contrast to the statement in the reading that the financial support for research of archaeology was improper, the lecturer contends that under the new guidelines, the expenditure of archaeological work would be undertaken by the companies instead of government funds or grants, namely, it is the company fund that pay the bill of archaeological expenses.

Finally, the lecture indicates that there were many job offers concerning archaeology, whereas the reading passage hold the claim that to have a career in archaeology is not easy at that time. The professor proves that the claim is indefensible , for that with the implementing of new guidelines, there seemed to be abundant job offers and well-paid work in archaeology, since in excavating a site, plenty of work is laborious, such as doing reaearch on the site and processing data, thus the demand of archaeological job market is well beyond the supply of work force. In other word, it is unreasonalbe to conclude that
Few position is available concerning to archaeology.

huangtan · 发表于 2013-4-5 17:25:45

4.5+独立
Independent Writing：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
The public need not to pay for public transport.

Notwithstanding the fact that several countries have legislated that the government should provide free public transport for the pubic, the issue that whether the

policy is detrimental or benefical in a long term is still in the dicussion of a hot debate. However, I hold fast to the claim that a free public transportation system

is conducive to a country on the whole.

To begin with, the citizens of the country, mostly consist of tax-payers who are mandatory to take a part their compensation as tax annually, often make conplaints

that they seldom taste the sweetness of public welfare, even more, they have no idea that how the administration deal with their hard-earned salary. Therefore, it is

manifest that the government do not allocate an approciate budget to the wellbeing of its people, specifically, the public transportation constitutes a large part of

the public wellbeing but is ignored by the municipal budget. Hence, the unsatisfaction about public welfare from the common people reveals that it is the right time to

buttress the free of pay public transportation. Most importantly, it is the reletively poor people who commute most, thus it is quite fair not to charge them from the

angle of maintaining the stability of society.

Moreover, the advent of public transprtation without charging will definitely assuaging the problem faced by most people from urban area, that is traffic congestion.

And is is indeed a potential hindrance for elevating the efficiency of work in metropolis and ruins plenty of job opportunities in the market. But, after the adopting

of free public transportation system, mainly composed by bus on the road and subway underground or even ferry in the waters, an increasing number of poeple will opt

for free commuting instead of being caught in a traffic jam. As a result, a big headache is removed.Better still, more people embarking on the public transportation

will induce the decline of provate cars in utilization, in this way less fossilized fuel is put into the engine and less emmission diffuses in the atmosphere.

As stated above, free of charge public tranport, which benefits both poeple and environment, should be a part of the general wellbeing of every citizen.

yyjfantasy · 发表于 2013-4-5 23:15:03

4.4+综合（tpo16）

Integrated Writing：
TPO16

The reading passage examines the issue of whether the science of archaeologywas undermined by the serious problems in Britain, the lecturer explores thesame issue. However, she asserts that the new guidelines would facilitate thedevelopment of archaeology in the Uk instead of weakening it, which clasheswith what the reading passage claims.

First, even though the reading passage suggests that many valuable artifactswere damaged and lost in construction projects whose aim is to provide morehouses and buildings to the growing population, and the lecturer put forwardthe rebuttal that it just would not happen on the ground that the newguidelines regarding to archaeology will guarantee the security of the valuable sites,because the guidelines make it a rule that prior to the construction of the new building, the sitespecific to the building should be examined if there are archaeological sites, ifthere are, people have to either move the building to other irrelevant places orexcavate the cherished antiques before the construction.

Second, in contrast to the statement in the reading that the financial supportfor research of archaeology was improper, the lecturer contends that under thenew guidelines, the expenditure of archaeological work would be undertaken bythe companies instead of government funds or grants, namely, it isthe company fund that pay the bill of archaeological expenses.

Finally, the lecture indicates that there were many job offersconcerning archaeology, whereas the reading passage hold the claim that to havea career in archaeology is not easy at that time. The professorproves that the claim is indefensible, for that with the implementing of newguidelines, there seemed to be abundant job offers and well-paid work inarchaeology, since in excavating a site, plenty of work is laborious, such asdoing research on the site and processing data, thus the demand ofarchaeological job market is well beyond the supply of work force. In otherword, it is unreasonable to conclude that
Few position is available concerning to archaeology.

写得很好，词汇的变换做的也很到位。三个段落的分布要更平均一些，这个我也做得不好，毕竟有的地方听得更明白些，有的地方细节就记得少、、亲原谅我综合写作不知道应该怎么批，都是照着模板来的，语法上的错误也很少，内容也很固定。所以还是要向你多请教的呀！
PS：单词拼写注意一下下~

xeyyxzty · 发表于 2013-4-6 11:05:28

给你发的附件~论坛粘贴后格式好诡异~
写的不错哟~~~

huangtan · 发表于 2013-4-6 11:24:49

xeyyxzty 发表于 2013-4-6 11:05
给你发的附件~论坛粘贴后格式好诡异~
写的不错哟~~~

哈哈

huangtan · 发表于 2013-4-8 19:23:09

Independent Writing：
Do celebrities like athletes and movie stars need their privacy?

Currently,it is not uncommon that news and media is inundated with scandals and gossip, either trustworthy or merely misleading, most of them, if not all, are media

hype which cater to the readers' curiosity intentionally. Therefore, the private life of the celebities such as renowned film stars and athletes tend to be quite

vulnarable to the spy of paparazzi, and the famous people are irritated and can hardly lead a peaceful life. Consequently, I am inclined to believe that celebrities

also desire their privacy just as everyone dose.

To begin with, it is lagislated that every citizen is created to be equal-that is to say, the well know are no different in terms of the right of owing and

guarranteeing their privacy. Notwithsanding the fact that the celebirities should sacrifice their own life for the cooperation of the job they undertake in some

occasion,  for example, when appearing in a public reporting conference they are obliged to take the questions whichever presented by the journalists, however, the

famous people still have their own space, which cannot be infringed on. Such instances abound in the newspaper or TV, the prince Williams and his wife once spent their

holiday, but unfortunately, Kate was taken photos by paparazzi secretly, no doubt the world was shocked , and most of the people felt sympathy about it and condemed

the reporters without ethics of code.

Moreover, privacy has a far more siginificant meaning than private time and room, privacy also provide a sense of security and a zone for soul to rest upon. In actual,

famous people are ordinary people plus a little bit  talent and effort, except these they possess nothing beyond us. Thus,they have undergone what we go through every

day. When we finish a whole day's work, all we need is have a relieving rest and rechage our body for tomorrow, so do those movie stars and athletes.However, just

imagine, a film star is having dinner with their family while some reporters keeps asking them questions and taking photos, not only will the star be aggravated, but

his or her family member will have a feeling of being vialted, worsw yet, if the same disturbing recurs again and again, it is likely that the mental health of famous

people will be damaged and deteriorate. Plenty of tragidies such as suiciding owing to unbearable pressure can illustrate that point. So, we should learn to respect

the provate life of celibirities we love not only for the sake of our affecton toward them but also for the enduring good of them.

As stated above, we should treat the celebirties just they way we would like to be treated, i.e, we extremely cherish our own privacy,  hence ,why not keep the private

of the celebirties intact?

（后记：一直不知道咋样的结尾比较合适啊，大牛们都来说说吧）

huangtan · 发表于 2013-4-8 21:19:12

huangtan 发表于 2013-4-8 19:23
Independent Writing：
Do celebrities like athletes and movie stars need their privacy?

脑袋一片混乱，typo很多，多多包含，一定改过

Tim 的作文专帖，各种求拍砖

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