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[作文互改] argu8...谢谢斑竹!!^_^

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楼主
发表于 2013-3-20 18:40:50 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
122. The following appeared in a memo fromthe director of a large group of hospitals.

"In acontrolled laboratory study of liquid hand soaps, a concentrated solution ofextra strength UltraClean hand soap produced a 40 percent greater reduction inharmful bacteria than did the liquid hand soaps currently used in ourhospitals. During our recent test of regular-strength UltraClean with doctors,nurses, and visitors at our hospital in Worktown, the hospital reportedsignificantly fewer cases of patient infection (a 20 percent reduction) thandid any of the other hospitals in our group. The explanation for the 20 percentreduction in patient infections is the use of UltraClean soap."

Write a responsein which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival theproposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly accountfor the facts presented in the argument.
没有找到一定数量的逻辑错误,所以感觉内容简单了点,望版主不吝赐教!
In this argument, the author concludes thatthe 20 percent reduction in patient infections is due to the use of  UltraClean soap. To substantiate hisconclusion, the author points out that according to a study of liquid handsoaps, it produced a 40 percent great reduction of harmful bacteria. The authoralso reasons that recent test at his hospital prove that fewer cases of patientinfection after using the UltraClean hand soaps. However, there are otherexplanations contrary to these points which weaken the author's argument.


Firstly, the author assumes that the studyis believable. However, this result of the study can also be explained ascareless study. Some necessary conditions are omitted and affect theconsequences of the study. For example, the researcher forgot to put in some necessaryinfected organisms.

Secondly, based on the validity of thisstudy, the author assumes that liquid hand soaps are useful in any conditions.There are also many evidences to explain readily other exceptions. It isentirely possible that the effectiveness of this UltraClean hand soaps willchange with the changing of outer environment and temperature. For example,when it gets hotter, the chances of getting inflected will increase and theeffectiveness of the soaps will be lower. Without ruling out all theseexplanations cannot the author persuade me the power of this kind of soap.

Finally, the author assumes that 20 percentreduction is only resulted from the using of UltraClean hand soap. Yet thisphenomenon can also be illustrated as the consequence of ordered management ofhospitals, full-equipped medical implements and all-round cares of nurses anddoctors.  erhaps, the previous usedmedicines guarantee the fewer cases of infection. Also, concentrating on theusefulness of the soaps too much, the author ignores the negative effects ofthis soap. Maybe it decimate too much bacteria which result in a loss ofnecessary things of immune system.

Inthis argument, the author ignores the alternative and different explanations ofcircumstances. To strengthen the reasoning of this argument, the author has toprovide the validity of this study and tests and the stability of theeffectiveness of this soap. To better testify this argument, the author shouldneed to provide more information about the unique function and negative effectsof the soap in reducing patients’ infection
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沙发
发表于 2013-3-21 09:33:00 | 只看该作者
1第一步,质疑实验室的实验,做了多少次,如果只是一次,很可能是偶然的结果。
2.质疑实验条件和医院条件的差别
3.其他可能因素导致20%的下降
板凳
发表于 2013-3-21 10:21:13 | 只看该作者
是有点单薄,看看满分作文展开的方法。在考试的时候你想的时间更少,所以你现在要练怎样展开。
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2013-3-21 16:34:47 | 只看该作者
O(∩_∩)O谢谢
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