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[作文互改] Issue 6 求修改!

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楼主
发表于 2012-12-21 08:59:43 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

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Providing all the students with same national curriculum until they enter college has several advantages. However, regarding the distinctive custom of different areas in a country, this suggestion is too idealized to be implemented.

Unified courses can obvious improve the education quality of the country, especially in the poor areas, and provide all the students from different parts of the country with equal opportunity to receive high quality of education. Considering the notebooks, for example, with the help of national curriculums, they can be unified by the education department of the government, which are written by best teachers in the country, and all the students could benefit from them. Furthermore, unified and high quality education video can also be provided to local areas to promote teacher’s teaching skill.

Besides, common curriculum and same evaluation standard can ensure all the students in the nation be favored with the opportunity to learn all the basic rules in our traditional values which have been created and valued by out ancestors a long time. This kind of merits form the most important part of our culture and it can be solid foundation of our principles. Indeed, many famous persons such as Chairman Mao of China and Washington, the first President of United States, are all studied common curriculums hardly when are young boys.

While, there are two sides to every icon, the unified curriculum also bring certain amount of detrimental effects. Firstly, in some big countries such as China, different areas have different customs, which are very distinctive from other places. So over emphasize the application of unified courses in these areas may ruin their culture and value system. Secondly, the national curriculums also have negative effect to deprive the creative capability of local teachers, which is not good for them in long term.

All in all, providing all the students with national curriculums is a positive suggestion but over emphasize the dominant situation of national curriculums may cause harmful effect to civilization education. The national curriculums should pay more attention to the fundamental value system and moral standard and leave the local teachers enough space in how to teach students according to their own customs.
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沙发
发表于 2012-12-21 14:02:50 | 只看该作者
All in all, providing all the students with national curriculums is a positive suggestion but。。

这里的curriculum用复数??那理解起来就完全不一样了。。
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2012-12-21 15:48:11 | 只看该作者
还有其他方面的问题吗?比如语言和逻辑分析。
地板
发表于 2012-12-21 19:31:40 | 只看该作者
第三段内容略显单薄,你说的两点最好能更充分地展开说明论述
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