argument 76

byhdhr123 · 发表于 2012-11-23 22:12:09

"Over 80 percent of the respondents to a recent survey indicated a desire to reduce their intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol, and today low-fat products abound in many food stores. Since many of the food products currently marketed by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholesterol, the company's sales are likely to diminish greatly and company profits will no doubt decrease. We therefore advise Old Dairy stockholders to sell their shares, and other investors not to purchase stock in this company."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the advice and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the advice.
In the argument,the author advices that Old Dairy stockholders should sell their shares and other investors should not to purchase stock in the company.The conclusion is based on these aspects:a survey shows that a large number of people indicate a desire of declining in their intake of food containing fat,and Old Dairy's food usually has a high level of fat and cholesterol,so the company's sale will diminish greatly.The argument seems logical at first glance,but after carefully examining there are lots of question left unanswered.Unless the author can provide more information to answer the questions,the argument is poorly supported.
First,the author shows a survey indicating that people are less likely to choose fat and cholesterol contained food now.Many question can be brought out about the survey.For the scope and validity of the survey is unknown.For example,people may not simply telling the truth for they know that a healthy life style is encouraged nowadays,and to live a healthy life,fat and cholesterol are not welcomed.and when being interviewed,they tend to reject fat and cholesterol.However,in their everyday life they will not abandon fat and cholesterol for they can not get rid of it.
Even if the survey do reflect the real demand of the customers,there are still a lot of questions being unasked.For example,what factor does a customer consider mostly in buying food is being unasked in the argument.As we know,there are lots of factors that count in the purchase.Some may consider their taste in first place while others may put safety in priority.there exists a possibility that though people do not like food containing fat and cholesterol,but the taste of Old Dairy's food is good and the price is low,so a lot of consumers will not reject Old Dairy's food.
Then the author fails to consider that how much sale of food containing fat and cholesterol makes up the total profit.perhaps the company's major product is not these kind of food.So even if the sales of food containing fat and cholesterol the goes down,it will affect the total profit little.If the major product of the company is something that contains low cholesterol and fat,the sale may be higher instead.
So the argument is not as cogent as it stands.many questions can be brought out to challenge the contention.In order to make the argument more convincing,the author must rely on more information about detail to ask these question above.

普渡哥 · 发表于 2012-11-24 12:11:23

段落的逻辑结构不清晰

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-11-24 22:18:37

In the argument, the author advices that OldDairy stockholders should sell their shares and other investors should not topurchase stock in the company. The conclusion is based on these aspects: asurvey shows that a large number of people indicate a desire of declining intheir intake of food containing fat, and Old Dairy's food usually has a highlevel of fat and cholesterol, so the company's sale will diminish greatly. Theargument seems logical at first glance, but after carefully examining there arelots of question left unanswered. Unless the author can provide moreinformation to answer the questions, the argument is poorly supported.这段最好能精简些，比你的中间段落都长

First, the author shows a survey indicatingthat people are less likely to choose fat and cholesterol contained food now. Manyquestions can be brought out about the survey. For the scope and validity ofthe survey is unknown. For example, people may not simply tell the truth for they know that a healthy lifestyle is encouraged nowadays, and to live a healthy life, fat and cholesterolare not welcomed. And when being interviewed, they tend to reject fat andcholesterol. However, in their everyday life they will not abandon fat andcholesterol for they can not get rid of it.

Even if the survey do reflect the realdemand of the customers, there are still a lot ofquestions being unasked. 这句话最好不要，而最好能指出某个依据或者假设，然后再直接发问For example, what factor does a customer consider mostly in buyingfood is being unasked in the argument. As we know, there are lots of factorsthat count in the purchase. Some may consider their taste in first place whileothers may put safety in priority. There exists a possibility that thoughpeople do not like food containing fat and cholesterol, but the taste of OldDairy's food is good and the price is low, so a lot of consumers will notreject Old Dairy's food.

Then the author fails to consider that howmuch sale of food containing fat and cholesterol makes up the total profit. perhapsthe company's major product is not these kind of food. So even if the sales offood containing fat and cholesterol the goes down, it will affect the totalprofit little. If the major product of the company is something that containslow cholesterol and fat, the sale may be higher instead.
建议你的中间段能再丰富些，比如你举的例子能否更具体些，或者加上类似于如果你提的问题的答案是什么样的时候，才可以证明题目的结论。另外段落安排的时候尽量集中些，按照一个逻辑链进行质疑
So the argument is not as cogent as it stands. manyquestions can be brought out to challenge the contention. In order to make theargument more convincing, the author must rely on more information about detailto ask these questions above.

[作文互改] argument 76

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