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[作文互改] argument,求建议

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发表于 2012-11-10 16:04:15 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing.



"Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulty obtaining reliable supplies of high-quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our popular alpaca overcoat. Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. Given the outcry from our customers when we discontinued this product and the fact that none of our competitors offers a comparable product, we can expect pent-up consumer demand for our alpaca coats. Due to this demand and the overall increase in clothing prices, we can predict that Sartorian's alpaca overcoats will be more profitable than ever before."



Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.







首先请问下这个字数够吗?不知道为什么的现在作文字数越写越少T-T(503 words)
In the memo, the new vice president supports the resume of alpaca overcoat, which was discontinued five years ago. Because the company has found new fabric supplier and he believes that the alpaca coats will be profitable given the demand and lack of comparable products. If we are to examine his decisions, several critical questions are needed to be answered so that we have tenable evidence.


The first thing in concern is the state of their new fabric supplier needed to be known. Whether they can provide high-quality wool fabric, and whether they can maintain the relationship with Sartorian for a long time. If the wool fabric they offer is in poor quality, the quality of alpaca coats manufactured is surely deteriorated. So Sartorian is going to bear the financial loss due to the low quality products. Besides the quality of the raw material, the cooperation between two companies is also important. If the supplier can not persist for long, Sartorian will also be cut off raw material for alpaca overcoats. The investment put in the resume project sinks because the project turns to abortion in half way. Considering the possible future continuation of the alpaca overcoat, questions about their new supplier should be figured out first.


Also, given the fact that alpaca overcoat was out of manufacture five years ago, we should know how the consumers' tastes have changed. Of course as indicated, alpaca overcoat was welcomed by people, and when the coat was discontinued consumers were disappointed. Maybe five years ago, alpaca overcoat was enjoying its popularity. But the tastes of consumers can change quickly, because the fashionable trend is refreshed every season. After so many years and without recent investigation, we have no idea whether the alpaca overcoat can win its laud like before. If few people are in favor of such kind of product, then Sartorian should not pick up where it stopped.


Moreover, even the prices for clothing are increasing, question that whether the alpaca overcoat can actually generate profits should be answered. The increasing prices may, to some extent, reflect the high cost in clothes producing, including the alpaca overcoat. If alpaca overcoat is the kind of product that requires much of processes in designing, cutting and making, then more costs are involved in the manufacturing. Designers have to revise their designs again and again, and the sartorial people have to cut the material with extreme care. After the making, the alpaca coat may need special conservation and there are extra people needed. Even the alpaca coat is sold at high prices, compensating the cost invested, not much profit is left for the company. So the possibility of profits generating is a critical question that needs to be answered.


In sum, before resuming the alpaca overcoat, the Sartorian Company should consider several questions that have not been answered yet. The questions concern about suppliers and raw materials, consumers' tastes and profits. If they can be answered adequately, then the decision can be more tenable and reasonable.


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发表于 2012-11-10 22:45:26 | 只看该作者
In the memo, the new vice president supportsthe resume of alpaca overcoat, which was discontinued five years ago. Becausethe company has found new fabric supplier and he believes that the alpaca coatswill be profitable given the demand and lack of comparable products. If we areto examine his decisions, several critical questions are needed to be answeredso that we have tenable evidence.


The first thing in concern is the state oftheir new fabric supplier needed(为何用过去式) tobe known. Whether they can provide high-quality wool fabric, and whether theycan maintain the relationship with Sartorian for a long time. If the woolfabric they offer is in poor quality, the quality of alpaca coats manufacturedis surely deteriorated. So Sartorian is going to bear the financial loss due tothe low quality products. Besides the quality of the raw material, thecooperation between two companies is also important. If the supplier can notpersist for long, Sartorian will also be cut off raw material for alpaca overcoats.The investment put in the resume project sinks because the project turns toabortion in half way. Considering the possible future continuation of thealpaca overcoat, questions about their new supplier should be figured outfirst.


Also, given the fact that alpaca overcoat wasout of manufacture five years ago, we should know how the consumers' tasteshave changed. Of course as indicated, alpaca overcoat was welcomed by people,and when the coat was discontinued consumers were disappointed. Maybe fiveyears ago, alpaca overcoat was enjoying its popularity. But the tastes ofconsumers can change quickly, because the fashionable trend is refreshed everyseason. After so many years and without recent investigation, we have no ideawhether the alpaca overcoat can win its laud like before. If few people are infavor of such kind of product, then Sartorian should not pick up where itstopped.


Moreover, even the prices for clothing are increasing;question that whether the alpaca overcoat can actually generate profits shouldbe answered. The increasing prices may, to some extent, reflect the high costin clothes producing, including the alpaca overcoat. If alpaca overcoat is thekind of product that requires much of processes in designing, cutting and making,then more costs are involved in the manufacturing. Designers have to revisetheir designs again and again, and the sartorial people have to cut thematerial with extreme care. After the making, the alpaca coat may need specialconservation and there are extra people needed. Even the alpaca coat is sold athigh prices, compensating the cost invested, not much profit is left for thecompany. So the possibility of profits generating is a critical question thatneeds to be answered.


In sum, before resuming the alpaca overcoat,the Sartorian Company should consider several questions that have not beenanswered yet. The questions concern about suppliers and raw materials,consumers' tastes and profits. If they can be answered adequately, then thedecision can be more tenable and reasonable.
建议你的第二点和第一点换个位置,先说这种产品现在跟五年前相比是不是还很受欢迎,没有一家竞争对手制造这种产品也许恰恰是因为市场需求不好,其次再谈供应商,最后谈是否必然盈利。问题不大,字数不是问题,推理分析清楚了就OK
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