argument 9，求拍

zhanghaolin · 发表于 2012-10-31 22:28:35

9. Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products, is opening its next franchise in the town of Plainsville. The store should prove to be very successful: Nature's Way franchises tend to be most profitable in areas where residents lead healthy lives, and clearly Plainsville is such an area. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. Finally, Plainsville's schoolchildren represent a new generation of potential customers: these schoolchildren are required to participate in a fitness-for-life program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

In the argument, considering that the various data shows people in Plainsville lead healthy lives, the author believes that Nature's Way's next franchise in Plainsville will be very successful. The argument seems to be reasonable and well-presented in somehow; however, I am afraid it can hardly bear further consideration because there are several questions about economic situation, tax level, competition and management level to answer, which might result the argument unsubstantiated and unpersuasive.

First and foremost, all the facts cited by the author in the argument about how citizens in Plainsville like sports fitness can hardly be sufficient evidence to prove the existence of potential market for Nature's Way. It is true that people like fitness always choose a healthier life style than those do not. However, none of the facts directly prove the citizens' buying inclination to Nature's Way's health products. Neither does the author provide specific information about the products (such as what are they used for? are majority of them food products?) nor he presents the data about the citizens (such as: what are the citizens' buying habits in Plainsville? Do they usually buy food or other health products?). Before answering such questions, we cannot have an accurate picture about the citizens in Plainsville and it is prudent to presume the big potential market in Plainsville. After all, it is normal that people just like sports and fitness but do not keen on health products.

Furthermore, even though the facts shows some potential markets in Plainsville in somehow, it is precipitous for the author to predict the success before taking account of many other possible factors in existence which can influence the sale of products. These products include something as economic situation, consumption level and tax level. Considering the following example: if the people in Plainsville are keen on health products but the region economic is in poor conditions that consumption level is very low and the price level of Nature's Way's products is so high that exceeds most of the average families’ affordability. In that case, how can the author expect the Nature's Way success in Plainsville? Before making a conclusion, the author should collect data about specific situation of economy in Plainsville in order to answer whether the citizens can afford the products or not and other questions.

Last but not the least, the author does not mention a word about Nature's Way and its competitors. It is reasonable for us to ask questions about the specific situations about them, such as 'What is the management level in Nature's Way? 'Is Nature's Way competitive enough that can beat its competitor in Plainsville?', 'Do its competitors make a march to the market in Plainsville?’ In conclusion, answering such questions will let us clarify the competitiveness of the company and have a more accurate picture of the franchise's future in Plainsville.

To sum up, after pointing out so many questions to answer, we can say that the evidence cited by author cannot support the argument well. Before reaching a final conclusion, the author needs to conduct comprehensive investigation to make clear about the specific situations in Plainsville, such as local economic situation, buying inclination and purchasing power and competition level.

写的头疼，好像就是在一直问问题。

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-10-31 22:47:58

ｍａｒｋ，今天来不及了，明天中午再来改！

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-11-1 22:27:44

关于这篇的问题，诚如你自己所说，一直在问，我觉得问了之后，也需要给出自己认为需要的答案吧，比如none of the facts directly prove the citizens' buying inclination to Nature's Way's health products. 这里你说这些事实都不足以支持什么，那你自己认为应该有什么具体的ｆａｃｔ可以支持呢，少问个问题，给一个具体的回到也许就好多了。 should collect data这里也是同样，最好能具体化，什么样的数据才可以支持或者什么样的数据会对题目结论形成反驳等。
ａｒｇｕ写到最后，大家很容易雷同，就在于大家都知道每个问题在哪儿，而且都还能说出为什么，但缺少的就是深入地具体的说明。

zhanghaolin · 发表于 2012-11-2 01:03:06

是的，我觉得你说的一点都不错，“具体”是王道。这argu我也写了小几十篇了，什么高见，诀窍是没有的，但是还是有一些感触的。我感觉对于我们这些英语非母语的学生来说，老师总是在强调“多一些具体论证！多一些事例！”但是作为写作文的一方，我感到：事例，是有的，但是写不出（英语水平不够，表达不出）；论证，是会的，但是写不明（因为词汇与句法的欠缺）。这语言水平就像一显微镜的分辨率：水平越高，就越能表达出思想和事实间微妙的差异，相反，水平越低，只能去找一些错误十分明显的论证与不同。有时候，argu里需要一些细节的辨析和推理，这语言功底不到的，也只能套用模板，“强词夺理”，套用一些空话大话。其实这也是没得办法的办法。我准备GRE时间比较晚，以前的英文功底也差，不过现在看来，如果再来一次，我就会选择多用作文来学习英语。毕竟，词汇量是砖头，语言组织是盖房子，能盖多高的房子，我就去准备多少砖头，否则砖头再多，也得等到会盖房子时才用得着。

dream521fang · 发表于 2012-11-3 10:31:37

我也是觉得，想得多，写不出来，老是在想这句我这么表达对么，是不是自己乱写的，怎么办啊。。。刚写了argument1.。。。。还想求拍呢，才400多字，都不忍心放出来。。。

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-11-3 14:24:03

没关系，贴上来了，小版看了，不一定揪出你的所有的语言问题，但能揪出来多少就该多少，错误越来越少，语言表达就会慢慢好起来

[作文互改] argument 9，求拍

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