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本人国内重点大学国际经济与贸易专业，绩点3.6, T105, GRE V155, Q164, 但是作文只有3分。。。
我第一次考G还有3.5, 第二次，第三次考G都是死在作文上，只有3。。。
听说申请文科、商科类的专业作文3分是硬伤，在此恳求各位大神帮我看看我的作文到底问题出在哪里，万分感谢！
以下是我的GRE作文习作（计时写的）几篇：
Issue：
Some people argue that successful leaders in government, industry, or other fields must be highly competitive. Other people claim that in order to be successful, a leader must be willing and able to cooperate with others.
Answer：
The statement presents two sides: one supporting a leader to be highly competitive, the other suggesting that the leaders should be able to coorperate. While leading is a comprehensive job that involves not only disputes but also compromising, I hold the strong believe that no single one of the two quilities could be advantegous. In fact, it's the balance between the two that makes the key capability and carisma of a successful leader.
First, in many fields, compepttive leadership is one of the most important features of a successful leader. Take entreprenureship for instance, a qualified leader in a running business must be powerful enough to make his own decisions. To be powerful, he himself should first be quite competitive, so that he can use his managerial ability to make the company competitive. AS we all know, it's Steave Jobs's persistent insist on technology and perfect design that helped Apple to rise again as a electronic leader of the world. His personality, and his managing method, is incredibally competitive, which may sometimes make his employees embarrassed and uncomfortable. But his tough style worked. Acturally, most people are inspired by that rather than discouraged by that. A born leader must, at least under some circumstances, be competitive.
While competitiveness is essential to a leader, coorperating is some times even more important. There are many successful leaders, in a variety of fields, who can make people smarter than them work for them. For leaders, sometimes it's not what they can decide that counts, but what they listen and what suggestions they take that count. No matter how powerful and intellected the president is, he would always need a congress, a group of sages, and many assistants in different fields of works. Why? Because they need to use others' talents. They could never do all the jobs alone. It's the same in any other filed. Group talent is much wiser and safer that on single mind, no matter how great that single mind is.
As a qualified leader, one must be able to face different situations, both the ones that need a quick and solid decision, and the cases when more voices should be listened before decision-making. That's why a leader, in any field as he may be, must be able to hold both. Great leaders, like Martin Luthor King, could be competitive toward critics and hatreds, and at the same time, be coorporative enough to attract people with the same dream. Going to one extreme could be fetal to a good leader.
Successful leading could be defined as being able to keep competitiveness and coorperation in a good balance. Within the balance, one can be showing the levelheaded leader quality any time they need and keep themselves sober and sapient when they need other opinions.
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Issue：
If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it are justifiable.
Answer：
No single person on earth does things without purpose. People take their actions to achieve a variety of goals, which are sometimes worthy, and sometimes meaningless. Of course, doing something meaningful is usually also meaningful to the society and other people around. Yet under some circumstances, this may not hold true any more.
The Civil War of United States is always the best example. Abreham Linkin led the war, with saying exactly the statement. In this case, Americans, in order to fight for their belief of equality, freedom and independence, fought really hard, causing a heavy casulty. Their purpose, to elaborate the blacks, is among the world's most magnificant and noble ones, which highlights the human spirit. But the means, the process it went throught to get the goal, is rather painful. Can we say the Cilvil War is not justifiable? Of course not. As we all know, evolution must take place at some heavy cost, sometimes even disasters for someoen, but they always have to take place.
However, other than the power wo wash a society, in many situations this rule dosen't apply again.
Simply take sports in consideration. Winning a championship is the ultimate goal of every soccer team during the World Cup because it's like the highest honor a player or a team can gain in their whole career. But, if some player, or some team, to try to win the match, deliberately hurt players from other teams, not even don't obey the rules of a soccer match, then their behavior is no longer bearable. Actually, their means to the goal become dispicable and base. Their unjustified actions reflect their selfishness and madness, which could even affect their goals being right. These actions, which is done to hurt others rather than behaving oneself, could never be accepatble because they are imoral.
Further more, not only inethical actions could be abhored, usually even the measures considered ethical to someone may somehow become mean to others. This is the hard fact when it comes to politics. Every single country or region on earth has a government, which runs for the ultimate benefit for its people. Strong conomy, military forces, powerful position in the world, while being worthy and important to the people of its own, is always no good for other countries. Nations try to gain power to add to their security, which is a formidable threatening force. And, that's why countless unjustified wars broke out throught all the human history.
To sum up, the actions to so-called worthy goals may not always be right ,because the goals thelselves could never be cosmopolitanly right. Further, in order to cinsider this issue more comprehensively, we need to discover the definition of worthy a little more. If worth means good for only oneself, then the actions toward it could never be accepted because it inevitable offends others. If worthy is defined as the best for humankind, then the actions could be right.
(492 words)
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Argument:
The following appeared in a memorandum from the manager of WWAC radio station.
"To reverse a decline in listener numbers, our owners have decided that WWAC must change from its current rock-music format. The decline has occurred despite population growth in our listening area, but that growth has resulted mainly from people moving here after their retirement. We must make listeners of these new residents. We could switch to a music format tailored to their tastes, but a continuing decline in local sales of recorded music suggests limited interest in music. Instead we should change to a news and talk format, a form of radio that is increasingly popular in our area."
Answer:
The author draws the conclusion that WWAC radio station should change its radoi format from current rock-music to a news and talk one. Yet the arguments may seem cogent at the first glance, the evidences given are not in a coherent logic to lead to the conclusion.
First, the author contrasted the growing population to the declined listseners, suggesting that WWAC had problems and needed change. On one hand, the decreasing number of listeners could have no relationship to the problem of WWAC. The decline in audience may be due to the increasing television use or improved internet service, which lead to the declining portion of radio lovers. In this case, even WWAC make changes would be of no help. On the other hand, the increasing population doesn't ensure more listeners, even if WWAC runs fantastic in its perfomance in radio delivering.
Second, the author suggested to cater to the appetite of the source of population growth-the retired people. This is surely based on the assuption that retired people's preference to WWAC could change the current state of it. However, this group of retired people may be newspaper lovers insted of radio fans, or they may still stick to the radio station they used to listen. Thus their preference in radios may make no significant change to the total numbers of listeners of WWC.
Further more, the author asserted that people now have limited interests in music because of the decline in locl sales of recorded music, which is flawed because of the lack of solid evidence. The decline of music sales may be due to the increasing online music downloads, or because of the decline in recent music production. Peoples taste to music could be better found out through carefully-designed surveys and interviews, but not such weak assumptions. Therefore, the conclusion that WWAC should change to news and talk format is not based on sound evidence, either.
In brief, the argument is not cogent enough to persuade for a change. Much more reserches and interviews are needed to support some of the essential links between the evidences and the conclusion. Such links may be the comparison between WWAC and other local radio stations in scale and recent conditions, the more recise determination of the real preference of the majority, and the comparison between the advantages of news and talk format and weakness of rock-format strategy.
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Argument:
The following appeared in a letter from the owner of the Sunnyside Towers apartment complex to its manager.
"One month ago, all the showerheads in the first three buildings of the Sunnyside Towers complex were modified to restrict maximum water flow to one-third of what it used to be. Although actual readings of water usage before and after the adjustment are not yet available, the change will obviously result in a considerable savings for Sunnyside Corporation, since the corporation must pay for water each month. Except for a few complaints about low water pressure, no problems with showers have been reported since the adjustment. I predict that modifying showerheads to restrict water flow throughout all twelve buildings in the Sunnyside Towers complex will increase our profits even more dramatically."
Answer:
The arguement states that Sunnyside Towers complex should restrict all the showerheads to on thirds of water flow, and asserts that this action would surely increase the profit of Sunnyside Towers. Through deeper consideration, there are several flaws in this argument and some of the evidence are rudimentally weakened, thus the argument is not effectively supported.
First, the argument is based on the assumption that cutting down water flow in showheads leads to a curtail in total water use of Sunnyside Towers, which is not persuasive. In one hand, less water coming from showerheads may lead to the longer time of showers. If this occurs, the water usage may not drop down at the first place, and it may even increase because the shower takers want to compensate their dissatisfaction with longer shower time.
On the other hand, no connection is made between the water usage of showers and the total water usage. The shower water may be just one tenth of the total water use and people mauy waste much more water in their gardening. In this case, even cutting down water usage of showers could not lead to the decline of total water usage. Thus this action may of no help to reduce water costs.
Second, the author simply concludes that no problems occured after the water restriction in first three buildings, just given that no reports of problems were made. The assuption that whether all problems is reported or not existing is flawed. The residents could have a variety of problems such as inconvenience and safety prblems, but they don't necessarily have to report it. In fact, they may still be tolerant until Sunny Towers actually use this method in all the buildings. In this case, the suggestion could lead to a fetal reputaion impairence of Sunnyside Towers.
Further more, the first three building is not representative for all the twelve buildings. The three buildings could be with more aged porpulation, which has less sports and thus less showering demands, or they just prefer taking a bath so they can accept a lower water pressure. Meanwhile, the residents in the other nine buildings could appreciate high quality shower more, thus could have serious complaints about the change. If this occurs, Sunnysiede Towers complex could, if the worst happens, suffer from a decline of residents, which lead to a significant decline in revenues. Compared to the less savings in water costs, the damage caused by this could be deadly to Sunnyside.
In brief, the argument needs many more evidences to show the links between the ristriction of water flow in showerheads and the cut down of cost in water usage. Also, the author needs to do a throurough reserch to show that all the residents are not against the adjustment, at least not to cost Sunnyside Tower complex more than the saved from water reduction.
(476 words)
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麻烦大家帮我看看，我作文的硬伤到底在哪里？是不是我对gre作文写法的理解有误，还是我的语言、结构、逻辑存在致命的问题。（GRE官网上说2.5－3分的作文是存在明显flaw的。。）
万分感谢～！！ |
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发表于 2012-11-1 09:23:26
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