argument 66（关于应该只引进国产奶酪，不要进口的了）求PIAPIA~~

yzy0704 · 发表于 2012-11-1 22:49:47

（虽然上次斑竹让我尝试多用一些变换的句子。。虽说做了一些尝试，但是用着总觉得突兀。。所以还是老样子%>_<% ）

In the passage, the author holds the point that the store should discontinue stocking many of their imported cheeses, only importing some domestic cheeses. The author draws the conclusion because a survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates that there are more and more people fond of domestic cheeses. What's more, since the best-selling cheese in his store is a kind of domestic cheese, the author is sure of his conclusion. Although his argument seems nice at the first glance, when analyzing it in detail, we could find many flaws in the idea.

Firstly, learning from the survey that the best-selling cheeses at the newest store are kinds of domestic cheeses, the author thinks that all the people are fond of domestic cheeses as well. He may assume that all their stores will show consequences the same to the survey. However, it may be false. Different people living in different places may have different tastes of cheeses. Their tastes may be influenced by the temperature, culture and so on. If the manager does some work in all the stores, the consequence may be that most of people like imported cheeses. So if the author wants to persuade us that the domestic cheeses are more popular, he or she must do more detailed surveys on it.

What's more, the author believes that domestic cheeses are more popular because a recent survey by a magazine shows an increasing preference for domestic cheeses. He thinks that the magazine will always reflect all the people's thoughts. It may be wrong. Firstly, if the magazine only wants to make an advertisement for some kinds of domestic cheeses, then the magazine may say that most of people are fond of these kinds of domestic cheeses. In this situation, magazines could not reflect the truth. Secondly, despite the fact that the magazine does not tell a lie, it reflects a truth among national customers. However, in some places where the author's stores located, people living there may have tastes different from other places. If these people are fond of imported cheeses, the manager should certainly import some cheeses to cater their customers. So the author could not rely too much on the magazines, and he should do more surveys by himself.

Despite the fact that people living in the places where the manager's stores located are fond of domestic cheese at present, this could not mean that people will always be favor of domestic cheeses. With our material lives changing so rapidly, so does it with people's tastes. Since people's tastes are often varying, the author have to do more researches on people, to find which kinds of cheese people will be fond of in the future.

From all the arguments issued above, I think that the conclusion made by the author is not logical enough to make us believe in him. And if he wants to show that his conclusion is absolutely right, he has to do more surveys about it in detail.

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-11-1 22:52:26

ＬＺ在作文签到帖http://forum.chasedream.com/GRE_AW/thread-779800-1-1.html先签到吧，这是小版新的小举措，以便督促大家坚持每天写，明天再来看你的杰作了

yzy0704 · 发表于 2012-11-1 23:12:53

遵命。。。后天考试了。。。可能以后就不会再考了。。。唉说不定就见不到斑竹了甚是想念%>_<%。。。。。

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-11-2 08:20:02

（虽然上次斑竹让我尝试多用一些变换的句子。。虽说做了一些尝试，但是用着总觉得突兀。。所以还是老样子%>_<% ）

In the passage, the author holds the point that the store should discontinue stocking many of their imported cheeses, only importing（这里宜为import） some domestic cheeses. The author draws the conclusion because a survey （宜为加made）by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates that there are more and more people（who are） fond of domestic cheeses. What's more, since the best-selling cheese in his store is a kind of domestic cheese, the author is sure of his conclusion. Although his argument seems nice at the first glance, when analyzing it in detail, we could find many flaws in the idea(这个词用reasoning会好点).

Firstly, ~~learning from~~（according to） the survey that the best-selling cheeses at the newest store are kinds of domestic cheeses, the author thinks that all the people are fond of domestic cheeses as well. He may assume that all their stores will show consequences the same to the survey. However, it may be false. Different people living in different places may have different tastes of cheeses. Their tastes may be influenced by the temperature, culture and so on. If the manager does some work in all the stores, the consequence may be that most of people like imported cheeses. So if the author wants to persuade us that the domestic cheeses are more popular, he or she must do more detailed surveys on it.

What's more, the author believes that domestic cheeses are more popular because a recent survey by a magazine shows an increasing preference for domestic cheeses. He thinks that the magazine will always reflect all the people's thoughts. It may be wrong. Firstly, if the magazine only wants to make an advertisement for some kinds of domestic cheeses, then the magazine may say that most of people are fond of these kinds of domestic cheeses. In this situation, magazines could not reflect the truth. Secondly, despite the fact that the magazine does not tell a lie, it reflects a truth among national customers. However, in some places where the author's stores located, people living there may have tastes different from other places. If these people are fond of imported cheeses, the manager should certainly import some cheeses to cater their customers. So the author could not rely too much on the magazines, and he should do more surveys by himself.

Despite the fact that people living in the places where the manager's stores located are fond of domestic cheese at present, this could not mean that people will always be favor of domestic cheeses. With our material lives changing so rapidly, so ~~does it~~（it does） with people's tastes. Since people's tastes are often varying, the author have to do more researches on people, to find which kinds of cheese people will be fond of in the future.

From all the arguments issued above, I think that the conclusion made by the author is not logical enough to make us believe in him. And if he wants to show that his conclusion is absolutely right, he has to do more surveys about it in detail.

-- by 会员 yzy0704 (2012/11/1 22:49:47)

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-11-2 08:24:36

小的语言错误上面已经标出，LZ考试加油，把V和Q保住，AW尽力而为吧

joyz725 · 发表于 2012-11-2 11:21:08

多谢~

yzy0704 · 发表于 2012-11-2 15:24:33

谢谢。。。

[作文互改] argument 66（关于应该只引进国产奶酪，不要进口的了）求PIAPIA~~

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[作文互改] argument 66（关于应该只引进国产奶酪，不要进口的了） 求PIAPIA~~

所属分类: GRE考试

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[作文互改] argument 66（关于应该只引进国产奶酪，不要进口的了）求PIAPIA~~