issue-20 有拍必回改否则本人2.5分！！来呗亲。。

cancerlk · 发表于 2012-9-13 23:31:24

Serious! 有拍必回改否则本人AW2.5分。。谢谢了先！
BTW 这是没计时写的，还有我特喜欢用复合句和高级词汇。。

20. Some people believe that college students should consider only their own talents and interests when choosing a field of study. Others believe that college students should base their choice of a field of study on the availability of jobs in that field.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

The famous motto of Carnegie Mellon University is "My heart is in the work". But this arise one question, that what kind of work, or field of study in this case, could and should one be occupied with? In my view, such category of study must be relevant to our gifts, passions as well as strengths, because without these necessary emotional and intellectual bases hardly could we unequivocally be absorbed. In another word, it is our talents and inclinations that determine if we can truly be engaged in a given realm, or merely be tepid about it, at best. Therefore, when choosing which field to study, interests and talents are supposed to be took into full consideration, otherwise we may simply dabble in our major, instead of achieving some accomplishment, or at least being able to acquire related knowledge.

Admittedly, some may point out that many students must do business so as to afford their family or at least, themselves, hence compromising the importance of the prospective of landing a job when selecting a major in college is not desirable. However, one essential fact should be considered to address this specious disagreement is that the outer business world is not constant and thus the demands for certain type of professionals may vary according to given periods of time and economy background. If we decide our major of study in college merely on the basis of the potentiality of employment, once milieu changes, causing the shrank demands for the targeted professionals, we will probably be unable to get hired, which in another sense, also the result of a huge amount of competitors, fresh graduates in particular, in the same realm. For example, before 2008 college students tend to choose lucrative majors, such as accounting and finance, whereas right after the financial crisis exploded, so many of these graduate students could not find a relevant job. Therefore, it is not judicious to determine one’s certain field of study in college by simply relying on the employment market, otherwise our fate may just be decided by the outer world, a world that is not controllable but inconsistent.

In contrast, it is evident that to each given person, his or her talents and interests are quite more persistent. So what we ought to do is to "follow our hearts". Take the case of J.K. Rowling for instance. She was dedicated to classic literature and mythology in her college. Even though she could not find a job after graduate, she continued to hold her passions and hone her skills to become a known writer. After years’ endeavor, she successfully produced Harry Potter serials novel and subsequently became famous. In this case, obviously Rowling made a correct choice of which specific field to study, since although she could not decide that if the professional of novel writer was highly needed in business, she made her decision simply depending on her inherited elements, namely, her talents and interests in literature and novel. Likewise, in current business field, although there do exist huge needs for computer professionals, if we dislike this realm or have little knack in it, choosing computer related major as the field of study is definitely unworthy, for it will perhaps lead us to nothing but loathing, let alone any possible achievement.

In a nutshell, it will be of more wisdom for college students to regard their talents and interests as the supreme factor when considering which specific field of study. Thinking about the case of Rowling again, if she chose her major on the basis of lucrative possibility rather than her passions, perhaps today she would just become a business lady with commonplaceness.

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-9-14 00:57:09

求高人来拍

cancerlk · 发表于 2012-9-14 09:58:08

求高人来拍

-- by 会员竹林中人 (2012/9/14 0:57:09)

额竹林大人求拍啊。。

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-9-14 20:53:26

感觉写的的确很不错，表达的确很老练。

cancerlk · 发表于 2012-9-14 22:26:32

感觉写的的确很不错，表达的确很老练。

-- by 会员竹林中人 (2012/9/14 20:53:26)

哎老练。。可能因为考过一次老G和好几次T 再加上文书的作用吧。。

总之谢谢斑竹的鼓励！

stupidguy94 · 发表于 2012-10-5 12:03:36

建议楼主加强语法先。

But this arise one question, that what kind of work, or field of study in this case, could and should one be occupied with?

1. a question arises 而不是this arise one question。或者this raises a question
2. 注意第三人称单数加s
3. But是连词不能作为句子开始。可以用however, nevertheless等
4. in this case 的位置比较诡异
5. one question 后面不能有逗号，or field of study之后应该有逗号（注意英文中的标点符号不像中文里的那么随意）
6. 这句话你所表达的方式应该是一句陈述句，用句号不用问号。
7. this 指代的东西应该要写明。

jaime001 · 发表于 2012-11-1 19:18:20

LS让我受教了，谢谢

[issue] issue-20 有拍必回改否则本人2.5分！！来呗亲。。

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