argument一篇，求点评，顺便能估分就更好了谢谢了啊

李子木 · 发表于 2012-10-24 17:21:14

"The following appeared in a newsletter offering advice to investors.

"Over 80 percent of the respondents to a recent survey indicated a desire to reduce their intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol, and today low-fat products abound in many food stores. Since many of the food products currently marketed by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholesterol, the company's sales are likely to diminish greatly and company profits will no doubt decrease. We therefore advise Old Dairy stockholders to sell their shares, and other investors not to purchase stock in this company.""

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-10-24 21:51:30

Being astonishing　这应该是说某东西让人吃惊，而人自己因为什么吃惊用astonished
as follows这里用的不好，因为你并木有很快滴接follow的内容。
LZ中间段的分析还是不错的，只是只有两点，是不是略显单薄呢

李子木 · 发表于 2012-10-24 23:25:18

因为是第一次计时写所以时间到了就只能写了这么多了，对于那个astonishing的用法，的确我是用错了，谢谢中人的点评。

[作文互改] argument一篇，求点评，顺便能估分就更好了谢谢了啊

所属分类: GRE考试

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