ChaseDream
搜索
返回列表 发新帖
查看: 2503|回复: 2
打印 上一主题 下一主题

[作文互改] ISSUE 5 求拍球建议~~^^

[复制链接]
跳转到指定楼层
楼主
发表于 2012-8-10 15:48:35 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
5. Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.
Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.


The claim consists of three assumptions: 1) it is the role of the government to support the development of a city; 2) it is the nation's cultural traditions that facilitate the city to thrive; 3) cities are the primary place for cultural tradition to generate and preserve. All of the three assumptions are somewhat reasonable but incomplete.

Firstly, whether government should provide financial aids to support the cities to thrive is a controversial problem. Some people might hold that a strong government can boost the economy. Provided with enough financial support, cities are able to build wonderful plazas and skyscrapers to increase GDP growth. When the market goes down, the government is capable to save it by throwing abundant money into it. Despite the positive effect of the direct financial support, I still believe that instead of giving directly financial aids, government should provide efficient and convenient policies as well as a friendly environment with nice infrastructure to promote the development of cities, because the role of the government is a regulator or a referee rather than a player in the society. As American institutional economist Douglas North once said, "An efficient economic institution is the key to growth as well as the reason of the rise of the west." An efficient institution will give an incentive to generate wealth. A friendly business environment will attract investment, which help to boost the economy. A nice infrastructure will bring us a lot of convenience and raise our productivity. Moreover, the government should reallocate the wealth in the society with taxation and subsidies in order to narrow the gap of the poor and the rich, eliminating poverty and raising the living standards. In brief, the primary role of the government is to establish incentive institution and ensure the social equity rather than provide direct financial support to the cities.

Secondly, nation's cultural traditions, as core spirit and valuable relic of a nation, indeed play a significant role in the cities' development. The valuable traditions and interesting customs draw the attention of scholars, researchers and students. The delicate masterwork or marvelous architecture relics attracts a great number of tourists every year. All of those not only boost the economy but also raise the reputation of the city, making it famous and attractive. Culture traditions are necessary as the soft power of the cities. Nevertheless, it is not the primary factor to drive the growth. In order to thrive, which leads to happiness of citizens, a city should rely on its economy growth and political democracy, as kind of the hard power. To raise the living standard, we should firstly achieve an economic thrive. With only culture traditions but slow economy growth, especially in the developing countries, lots of people will be stuck in poverty, let alone for the city to get to prosperity. To protect human rights, we should have a democratic politics, without which we can hardly achieve a free mind and creative activities.

Thirdly, many traditions are generated and well preserved in the cities, which, however, are not the best place for the preservation of cultural tradition. Tightly connected to the world, cities, especially the major cities, are deeply involved in globalization and modernization. Thus, a lot of traditions have given way to the modern city development while others may fuse with the foreign cultures. Old and traditional buildings are removed and replaced with modern skyscrapers. People abandon their national costumes and dressed up with fashionable clothes. There are no significant differences near the surface between New York and Shanghai. Cities are convergent to the similar style. On the contrary, with fewer disturbances from the outside world, the traditions and customs are better preserved. Many villages in the rural areas in China still produce traditional food in ancestral way, keeping their traditional rituals.

Based on the analysis above, governments should provide major cities with financial supports indeed, but not for the sake of protecting the cultural traditions. More importantly, the government should establish an efficient and convenient policy as well as a friendly infrastructure to promote the development of the cities.

第一篇...50min,不包括写提纲时间,求拍求建议!!谢谢!!
收藏收藏 收藏收藏
沙发
发表于 2012-8-10 20:57:14 | 只看该作者
看到你的第二段就吓住了。
你的首段分析的很好,但没有你自己的观点,那句表明态度的话太模糊了。
第二段大段的议论政府投资的利弊,扯的有些远有些大因而很抽象。这是AW写作的大忌,写的越具体越好,specific之后才可以比较好地把握掌控,才能达到critical.希望能改改提纲,写具体点。加油
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2012-8-11 18:54:52 | 只看该作者
吓到了...因为犯了大忌么?冒冷汗中 写得too general了?大谢斑竹指正吖!之前还自我感觉良好来着= =
我再研究一下范文,看看如何specific。
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

Mark一下! 看一下! 顶楼主! 感谢分享! 快速回复:

手机版|ChaseDream|GMT+8, 2025-7-16 01:43
京公网安备11010202008513号 京ICP证101109号 京ICP备12012021号

ChaseDream 论坛

© 2003-2025 ChaseDream.com. All Rights Reserved.

返回顶部