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[讨论]刚写了篇AI, 请大家帮忙看一下,给点意见

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楼主
发表于 2004-10-16 00:46:00 | 只看该作者

[讨论]刚写了篇AI, 请大家帮忙看一下,给点意见


13. Responsibility for preserving the natural environment ultimately belongs to each individual person, not the government.



The industrial revolution greatly advanced the life quality of the human beings. As a price of industrialization, the natural environment of this planet has been damaged continuously. More and more people in various regions are suffering from the result of the damaged natural environment, such as acid rain, sand storm, and flood. When people start to think about preserving the natural environment, a question rises: Who should be ultimately responsible for preserving the natural environment? Should it be the government, or should it be the individual? Some people argue that the government should take this responsibility because it is obvious of public interest. However, my opinion is that preserving natural environment is a shared responsibility of the government and the individuals.



On one hand, individual effort is indeed important to preserve the natural environment, but they cannot prevent the environment damaging behaviors of an industry. In our daily life, we separate the recyclable trash from those persistent trashes; we dispose of the battery in a special way; we buy cars that consume less fuel. In doing the above, we as individuals contributed significantly to the environment reservation. Unfortunately, there are areas that individuals can exert little impact. For example, the chlorofluorocarbon is widely used in the industry. The scientists found that the release of chlorofluorocarbon may destroy the ozone, which in turn enable extra ultra-violet ray to pass the atmosphere, and consequently cause skin cancer for human. The individuals can do little more than demonstration to prevent the use of CFC, because it involved too many vested groups.



On the other hand, we cannot completely count on the government to preserve the natural environment. The government has the power to enforce the environment protection law. In the CFC case, the government successfully forced the industry to give up the use of CFC. Although there are still smuggles and illegal use of CFC, the total amount has been deceased significantly since the government’s interference. However, unless such environment protection law is established by the legislature, the government would not be authorized to take any action. Who is responsible for establishing such law? It is congress. Who is congress speaking for? It is the individuals that constitute this society. In this sense, the individuals are responsible for expressing their concerns actively, and push the legislature to create the law to enforce environment protection through active voting.


In final analysis, neither the government nor the individuals alone can preserve the natural environment effectively. Unless the two efforts are combined, successful natural environment preservation is not likely to be achieved.
沙发
发表于 2004-10-16 22:05:00 | 只看该作者

不错, 结构很清晰, 字数也够了.

文法上有些小瑕疵. 比如On one hand, individual effort is indeed important to preserve the natural environment, but they cannot prevent the environment damaging behaviors of an industry.

前文并没有复数名词, they没有指代对象. hehe, 这可是改错里的大忌啊...

最好在这片的基础上再作修改, 一篇文章写10边会有提高,但是写10篇文章则未必.

板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2004-10-17 15:42:00 | 只看该作者

多谢指教!我一定再写几遍

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