11.7日综合作文小组作业,求拍砖

lizchang1990 · 发表于 2012-11-7 19:00:11

The reading passage says that ethanol is not a good alternative to gasoline for three reasons. The speaker, however, argues against such demonstration.

The reading material indicates that ethanol cannot solve the biggest environmental problems like global warming but release more carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. But the professor contradicts this reason. He explains that ethanol is made of plants like crops. During the growth process of plants, they can absorb a large amount of carbon dioxide when plants are burned for fuel, as result, plants can remove carbon dioxide from the atmosphere.

The second reason the reading material provides, that ethanol will dramatically reduce many plants available for animals, is also rejected by the lecturer. He says that the production of ethanol is from plants’ cell layers, which are the main components of plant. This part is inedible. Therefore, the production of ethanol has nothing with the available with animal’s food.

Regarding the third reason, contrary to the point that the reading passage sates, the speaker says that the price of ethanol fuel will drop in the near future. Because tax subsidies are always needed for production. In addition, if more people buy ethanol fuel, more increasing production will be yielded, so the price will drop. What’s more, the professor estimates that if the production of ethanol is three times greater than it is now, then customs will pay less, maybe the price will drop by fourteen percentage.

晨依Jacqueline · 发表于 2012-11-7 20:14:50

你好，只开一个帖子，把作文都贴在里面就可以了，然后直接将帖子链接粘贴到大本营。

AnthonySummer · 发表于 2012-11-7 22:43:08

我沒找到你昨天的綜合~

lizchang1990 · 发表于 2012-11-7 22:47:51

亲,这篇就是我帮你改的那篇哇. 帮忙看这篇吧~

dreamcece · 发表于 2012-11-8 02:36:21

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The reading passage says that ethanol is not a good alternative to gasoline for three reasons. The speaker, however, argues against such demonstration. 小意见：综合写作的重点在听力部分，所以开头段用陈述肯定的语气写出speaker的观点比较好。不要让评改的人绕逻辑弯了。
The reading material indicates that ethanol cannot solve the biggest environmental problems like global warming but release more carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. 简练的总结 But the professor contradicts this reason. He explains that ethanol is made of plants like crops-corns. During the growth process of plants, they can absorb a large amount of carbon dioxide when plants are burned for fuel, as result, plants【改为growing plants for ethanol fuel应该更准确，因为植物可以去掉CBD是公认的真理，不用as results了吧。】 can remove carbon dioxide from the atmosphere.

The second reason the reading material providesd,【我觉着亲用主动语态相当于一个省略that的定语从句描述the second reason也没错，关键就是后面又跟了一个定语从句，同样是修饰the second reason的，这个用法就有点重复了。你说呢？】 that ethanol will dramatically reduce many plants available for animals, is also rejected by the lecturer. He says that the production of ethanol is from plants’ cell layers, which are the main components of plant. This part is inedible. Therefore, the production of ethanol has nothing with the available with animal’s food. 这儿看着挺绕，建议亲换成另外一种表达。

Regarding the third reason, contrary to the point that the reading passage sates, the speaker says that the price of ethanol fuel will drop in the near future. Because 【because做连词做介词，都不能让承接的分句完整成句哦】 tax subsidies are always needed for production. In addition, if more people buy ethanol fuel, more increasing production will be yielded, so the price will drop. What’s more, the professor estimates that if the production of ethanol is three times greater than it is now, then customs will pay less, maybe the price will drop by ~~fourteen~~ 40 percentage.

总结:看得出来楼主语言功底扎实，语言简单有效。只有一些小错误规避了就更好了，一起加油吧！

P.S.: 抱歉啊，我的作文还是没有贴出来。。。今天忙晕了。

lizchang1990 · 发表于 2012-11-8 12:39:25

谢谢CECE批改,很详细,thanks! 等待拜读你的综合哦!

AnthonySummer · 发表于 2012-11-8 22:28:58

11.7日综合作文小组作业,求拍砖

The reading passage says that ethanol is not a good alternative to gasoline for three reasons. The speaker, however, argues against such demonstration. (第一段寫的太淩亂了，最號有邏輯語序一些，看一下模板吧！）

The reading material indicates that ethanol cannot solve the biggest environmental problems like global warming,（逗號）but （it will ）release more carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. （but不能單獨成句）But the professor contradicts this reason. He explains that ethanol is made of plants like crops. During the growth process of plants, they can absorb a large amount of carbon dioxide when plants are burned for fuel, as a result, plants can remove （absorb） carbon dioxide （in）from the atmosphere.

The second reason the reading material provides, that ethanol will dramatically reduce many plants（加個限制賓語that） available for animals, (主語呢？)is also rejected by the lecturer. He says that the production of ethanol is from （made from） plants' cell layers, which are the main components of plant. （與原文不一樣）This part is inedible. Therefore, the production of ethanol has nothing with the available with animal's food.

Regarding the third reason, contrary to the point that the reading passage states, the speaker says that the price of ethanol fuel will drop in the near future. （不能單獨成句）Because tax subsidies are always needed for production. In addition, if more people buy ethanol fuel, more increasing production will be yielded, so the price will drop.（太多簡單句了）What's more, the professor estimates that if the production of ethanol is three times greater than it is now, then customs will pay less, maybe the price will drop by fourteen percentage.

聽力都挺對了，但是自己組織的不是很好，加油吧！

粉红色拼写错误橘红色语法错误（谓语搭配单复数问题、固定搭配、空格多空了一格、逗号句号用错了）红色其他错误黄色精彩句子蓝色建议修改（个人建议，不对的地方多多指教啊）

11.7日综合作文小组作业,求拍砖

11.7 综合批改

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11.7日综合作文小组作业,求拍砖

11.7 综合 批改

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