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[作文互改] 还有10天就考了 诚心求拍Argument 78 Buzzoff Pest Control Company

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楼主
发表于 2012-7-11 21:43:03 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
提纲
攻击点
1 仓库地点不同 环境不同
2 食物保存情况不同
3 价格问题
自己已经粗改一遍 谢谢大家 求拍 还有10天就考了
The argument is well presented yetfar-fetched. It lays a claim that the company shouldchoose the BPC company as their pesticide provider
.  Nevertheless, the argument is ineffect definitely unreasonable due to seveal severalflaws such as the environment of two warehouses, the price of thecompanies and the food damaged in details. These logical fallacious can bediagnosed after a colse close scrutiny,albeit they may appear plausible at a cursory glance.
To begin with, a threshold problem is theargument is that the author appears to omit to provide any evidence that thesetwo warehouses are comparible comparable
insize, environment, climate, ectetc. Knownto all, food in damp and relatively high temperature envionment environmentcan bemore become liableto damaged by pest. Consequently without giving according information about thetwo places by no means can theauthor can by no means evaluatethe two companies by the limied limited evidenceand data.  
In spite of the comparisonof two warehouses,  
thestatement maintains ill-conceived. Another problem laysliesthatthe defernation of “preserving” the food. Ttheauthor happens to emphasize on the amount extentof food damaged by pests, rather than thefood saved reserved bythe companies respectivallyrespectively.BPC companyCompanymay be superior in this aspectpreventing pests,but the other one is totally possible to be bettertakethe lead in keeping the food fresh. ATheconclusion of whichthat choosingthe BPC is a wiser choice is dubious at best withoutmorefurthercomformconformationat best.  
Even assuming that the BPC savedoverlap its competitor in restoring
morefood, a significant flaw in the proposal is thatthe price of individual these two companies inremains unavailable. Business is a functionof both revenue and expense. The authroIf the BPC charges so muchmore than the other one that even the food it protects doesnot worth the surplus price , sticking to the efficiencyof its pesticide service seems unreasonable.Aapparently,isthat case can we have to abandonit for economical reason, unluckilydeducethat chossing.   the other company is ofeconomy.    
In retrospect, it seems precipitous for theauthor to jump into the conclusion aba
sedon a series of problematic premises. To dismiss the specter of implausible, theauthor ought to provide cogent evidence such as the location of the twowarehouses, the overall food information of food, and the price of each of thetwo involve companies.  After all, facklessfeckless attempts with a falliblemethod can be nothing but a fool's errand. Thus only by grasping the gist ofstatement can the author deduce a convincible conclusion.
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沙发
发表于 2012-7-12 10:31:52 | 只看该作者
To begin with, a threshold problem is the argument is that the author appears to omit to provide any evidence that these two ware houses are comparible comparable in size, environment, climate, ectetc.

这句话很不顺口,我感觉不够专业。
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2012-7-12 14:54:12 | 只看该作者
谢谢普渡哥知道   你觉得我攻击点方面有没有问题  写了好多篇觉得Argument里面类比的错误比较多 这篇我就写了两点 仓库和食物 攻击同类逻辑错误是不是有重复的嫌疑?
地板
发表于 2012-7-12 17:56:59 | 只看该作者
about thetwo places by no means can theauthor can by no means evaluatethe??
defernation ???
that the BPC savedoverlap ?its competitor in restoring??
关于质疑点,你不担心重复的嫌疑,没人说不能同时质疑两个类比。
关键的是这两个类比最好是不同的层次或者方面的
你的文章中很多单词拼写和语法有问题,影响了读者的理解,这样不好。
5#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-7-13 17:09:39 | 只看该作者
好的 谢谢解答!!   错误是因为我在word里用修改红笔标了  传到这儿显示不出 我以后一定会注意这儿问题 让大家读起来更舒服   但是我想问下 每次我写文章的时候每篇还是会有近十个拼写错误 有的是打错的 有的是本身就对拼写不熟悉 这在考试中会有很大影响吗 当然 我现在每天练争取把错误减少一点  谢谢!
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