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[作文互改] ISSUE 28(国家伟大取决于人民幸福)。。PIA我吧谢谢您们。。

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楼主
发表于 2012-3-24 00:58:01 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
又超时了。。啥时候可以不超时啊。。。

With the rapid development of our society nowadays, some people argue that the general welfare is much more important than the achievements of the leaders, artists and scientists. As far as I am concerned, I am in favor of this point. The general welfare should be considered as a standard to measure a country’s development degree.

Reviewing the history, there is a large number of dynasties in different parts of the world. Among these countries some of them were powerful and wealthy, with a large territory, such as the Tang dynasty in China and Germany controlled by Nazi. However, people living in these countries were suffering hard lives. It is true that these countries are rich, with a group of outstanding artists and scientists. They accumulated their wealth by occupying and robbing, and then strengthened their army with the money they seized. But during the wars, so many people died because of the killing and hunger, and so many families became disintegrated by force. The males in these countries were scared, afraid of being chosen into the army, while the females were nervous, afraid of loosing their pillars one day. Even though these countries became richer, the wealth was only belongs to the rulers, but not the folks. And surely these countries will not living longer, because they were founded by autocratic. We could draw a conclusion that it is a country’s welfare, but not the wealthy they achieved, that truly stands for a country’s development.

A country’s wealthy mainly comes from its people, and the money they seized during the war will never exist for long. If a country’s leaders are wise enough, they will spend more time on considering how to make their people satisfied with the government, and this will straightly put forward the social economical development. But on the contrary, if a country’s government doesn’t think the democracy important , their people will surely loose confidence of the government, or even worse, people will retort and overthrow the country, just like a huge wave floods a house.

From the reasons above, we could clearly conclude that it is the general welfare that mainly stands for a country’s social development. But I have to admit that the achievements of a country’s rulers, artists and scientist are important to the country. It is the leaders that control the direction of the country’s development, and technology and art will surely contribute to the social life. However, all of these should be execute in order to improve people’s living standard. In the other word, the general welfare should be motivation of the leaders’ and scientists’ hard work.

In a word, even though the achievements of leaders, artists and scientists are important to our country, it is the general welfare that decides whether the country is great.
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沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-24 09:24:52 | 只看该作者
D上去。。
板凳
发表于 2012-3-24 14:12:35 | 只看该作者
关于这篇文章,我觉得写的有点简单,关于人们的福利是伟大国家的决定因素,那么你认为怎么样的国家是伟大的呢?人们的福利又是哪些方面呢?你并没有界定,只是提到了财富这一个因素。再就是人们的福利与构成伟大的因素之间有什么直接的联系呢?
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-24 14:27:55 | 只看该作者
噢对。。welfare我把它当作幸福考虑的,没有想到福利所包含的内容。。
5#
发表于 2012-3-24 21:04:15 | 只看该作者
这篇我也写过,我是取折中态度的,LZ可以参考一下
1.general welfare是一个国家伟大的基础,但并非就一定是一个surest indicator(即前者是后者的必要条件,却并非充分条件)
2.其他还有很多方面来衡量一个国家,关键看你要衡量的是哪个部分(像题目中所给的,如果衡量一个国家的治理,可以用统治者的成就作为indicator,如果衡量科学艺术等方面的成就,就以这方面作为indicator)
3.伟大作为一个比较抽象的名词,用一个indicator是比较难以衡量的。所以我建议把一些重要的部分作为一个整体来衡量,就如我们平常所看到的学校排名一样,每个部分都有相应的分数,最后以总分的形式来给学校排序。
6#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-24 23:36:09 | 只看该作者
噢,谢谢你!吸取了。。
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