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[作文互改] i66,求拍求指导!

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发表于 2012-3-12 11:36:18 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
I66  eoplewho are the most deeply committed to an idea or policy are also the mostcritical of it.
I only partly agree with this claim. Beforeevaluating the claim, it is important to define commitment first. In myopinion, commitment refers not only to the time and energy devoted to a certainendeavor, but also the love and passion for it. While I agree that people whodevoted the most and who are passionate about an idea or policy are naturallyauthoritative to critique it and are usually careful and fastidious, they maynot necessarily be the most critical ones because other people may even be morepicky.

First, people who devote passion, time andenergy to a certain thing will naturally be critical because everyone has anatural tendency to pursue perfection for things they love and are responsiblefor. A writer may revise his/her own work thousand times to make sure everyword is precise and perfect, although other people think the first draft isimpressive enough; a scientist may repeat a certain experiment for many timesto pursue the most accurate result, which cannot be understood by ordinarypeople; policy-makers may edit a certain policy draft and discuss about it forvery long time to make sure it is reasonable and conducive to development. Theyare more careful and fastidious not only because they love what they are doing,but also because these are what they are responsible for, which are havingimpact on other people and do not allow for mistake.

However, sometimes this group of people isso confined in their own way of thinking that they could not be very criticaland objectively view the strengths and weaknesses of their own work. Thisphenomenon happens frequently in life. For example, a scientist may be verysatisfied with the result of his experiment because it is so carefully designedand conducted under his own logic that he could not think of any omission.However, as an outsider, another scientist can easily see the limitations andflaws in it. When people are too devoted, it is hard to step aside and keep adistance to re-evaluate what they are doing.

What is more, other people may be morefastidious about an idea or policy than people who are directly involved,especially those that will be affected by it. For a policy related to housingand real estate, the most critical group may not be the policy-makers butrather the real estate companies or potential buyers, as the policy affects theprice of the market, thus their respective benefits. People get extremely persnicketywhen their interests are involved. Under many circumstances, they are the mostcritical group.

In a nutshell, this is a paradoxicalquestion. On one hand, people who are greatly involved in an idea or policy arecertainly critical for the pursuit of perfection; on the other, just becausethey are so devoted, they are likely to be confined by themselves, which makesit more difficult to be objective and critical. Besides, sometimes the interestgroups are actually the more critical. Therefore, who is the most criticalconcerning a certain idea or policy depends on many circumstances.
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沙发
发表于 2012-3-13 11:13:23 | 只看该作者
对于你的说理和论证还是很好的,有一点比较疑惑的,你没有很好的撇清你的中间的三段的关系,到底哪一个才是真正的critical,你说它们是个paradoxical question,但我认为没有真正的矛盾,只是你要理清条理,什么时候专家对自己的作品更critical,什么情况不是,而外行又是什么时候critical,这是可以分情况和方面说明的,否则你这么部分情况地都说下,等于没说,这篇作文需要你做的就是撇清这三个的关系
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