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[作文互改] 331就要考了作文还是一塌糊涂A89真心求拍哦

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发表于 2012-2-28 12:32:56 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
题目A89
89The followingappeared in a memo at XYZ company.



"When XYZlays off employees, it pays Delany Personnel Firm to offer those employeesassistance in creating résumés and developing interviewing skills, if they sodesire. Laid-off employees havebenefited greatly from Delany's services: last year those who used Delanyfound jobs much more quickly than did thosewho did not. Recently, it has been proposed that we use the less expensiveWalsh Personnel Firm in place of Delany. This would be a mistake because eight years ago, when XYZ was using Walsh, onlyhalf of the workers we laid off at that time found jobs within a year.Moreover, Delany is clearly superior,as evidenced by its bigger staff and larger number of branch offices. Afterall, last year Delany's clients took an average of six months to find jobs,whereas Walsh's clients took nine."




Write a response in which you examine the stated and/orunstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argumentdepends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument ifthe assumptions prove unwarranted.



当XYZ裁员的时候,它雇佣了Delany人事公司在这些下岗员工有需要的时候为他们在写简历和提高面试技巧方面提供帮助。下岗员工从Delany的服务中极大受益:去年获得了Delany帮助的员工找工作比没有找Delany的员工快的多。最近,有提案提出用收费较少的Walsh人事公司代替Delany。这将是一个错误,因为在8年前,XYZ使用的就是Walsh,我们当时裁减的员工只有一半在一年之内找到了工作。而且,Delany显然更好,理由是它的员工更多,分支机构也更多。不论如何,去年Delany的客户平均用六个月找到工作,而Walsh的客户平均用了9个月。







英文提纲:对应三个正文段



a.the time spent on findingjobs is a good indication of quality of the services



b.Delany’s services resulted in the success offinding jobs 可能相反





c.information of 8 years ago can present thelevel of Walsh’s services nowadays





Thearguer recommends to use Delany rather than Walsh.To persuade us to taking the recommendation,the arguer report two comparisons.One is of people who useDelany and those who not,the other one is of conditions of Delany and those ofWalsh.The argument seems reasonable at first glance,but we can find severalfallacies after examing it more closely.

First ofall,the arguer assumes that the time spent on finding jobs is a good indicationof the services of pesonnel companies.Citing theevidence that people who use Delany find jobs more quickly than those who not andthe fact that Delanys clients took less time finding jobs than those of Walsh last year,thearguer builds the claim that services of Delany are better on this assumption.However,we do not know any other information aboutthe jobs of clients of Delany and those of Walsh.Aswe know, the wages of jobs,the welfare of the jobs and whether clients like thejobs they find are also indication of the services of personnel companies.Only knowing how long clients spent on findingjobs,we cannot assess the quality of services of these companiescomprehensively.If it turns out that thesecompanies force,somehow,their clients to accept jobs they do not want,theirservices will be considered to be bad.In this case,Delany is not necessarily abetter choice.

Moreover,theargument rests on the assumption that Delanys service resulted in the success of findingjobs.Based on the facts that people using Delany find jobs more quickly thanthose not and this assumption,the arguer asserts that it is Delanys service that resulted in the quicknessof finding jobs.However,this assumption is unwarranted unless the arguer rullsout other factors which influence finding jobs.It is entirely possible thatusing personnel company represents urge of finding jobs.In other word,somepeople are so urge to find jobs that they take more measures including usingpersonnel companies than those not urge.If it is the case,we can surely thinkpeople in urge demand for jobs are more likely to find jobs quickly.So,thearguers assumption of  causal relationship of Delanys service and the success offinding jobs of its clients is unwarranted.

Even ifthese assumptions above turn out to be the case,the arguer fails to give strong evidence to substantiate the assumption that information of 8 years ago canrepresent the level Wlashs services nowadays.Reporting the failure ofusing Walsh 8 years ago,the arguer tries to convince us that using Walsh now isa mistake.However,the assumption is flawed,for it is not possible that Walshs ability remains unchangedthroughout these years.If it turns out that Walshs quality of services has improvedsignificantly,we cannot necessarily consider using it as a mistake.To make theargument more convincable,the arguer must give information about conditions ofWalsh nowadays.

Inconclusion, the argument is based on these assumptions above.To make the argument more logical,the arguer should substantiate these assumptions.The recommendation of using Delany instead of Walsh will be more persuasive if the arguer give more evidence to convince us of these assumptions.
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沙发
发表于 2012-2-28 22:36:40 | 只看该作者
1.a good indication——>indicator,这句话并不很明白,说 the time spent on finding jobs is a good indicationof the services of pesonnel companies,应该要指出是水平高低的indicator比较好。
2。整体感觉不错,语言有一定的功底,内容挺充实的,继续努力,加油!
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