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[作文互改] Issue 28,第一篇, 让拍来得更猛烈些吧

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发表于 2012-2-2 23:31:24 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
The surest indicator of a great nation is represented not by the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but by the general welfare of its people.

Explosive development of sicence and technology has been made during the past one hundred years or so, and led to booming of many nations. When it comes to the indicator of a great nation, there are always a host of different opinions held by different individuals from different areas.  Does the general welfare of the nation's people, you may wonder, be the surest indicator of a great nation?  Admittedly, most people would consider that the living standard of its people will definitely represent the nation's prosperity. However, it is not so much evidence that shows this must be the case, and we should evaluate a nation from every aspect, not only the general welfare or the achievements of its rulers, artits or scientists, but also other components like the influence of such a nation and both its traditional and modern culture.

Actually, the general welfare of its people takes an important role to enhance the nation's prosperity, which shows that the living standard of its people is quite good and hence improve the happiness of these people. It is well known that a lot of people are satisfied living in  many European countries as these countries provide considerable good infrastructures, education and medical insurance, all of which make the life of its people comfortable. Yet when we consider a great nation, these countries' names will not bump into our mind, as there are no such significant achievements or influnce made by these countries and therefore people from other nations can not easily recognize their greatness.

Nevertheless, for most nations, the achievements and influnce and the nation's culture are more relevant to its greatness in
nowadays. Consider China, for example, no nation has received more praise and abuse than this country in today's world.  No one will absolutely assert that China is not a great nation competed with other great nations. The development of China during last there decades is rocketing, which results in a great number of significant achievements, as booming economy, powerful militery, and space technology, made by China, though the general welfare of the society is not so good as other nations'. Additionally, more and more people now will choose Chinese to be their extra language so that they can know its great culture and history. Viewed in this fashion, no one would deny that the importance of other aspects of the nation to be a good way to evaluate a nation.

As a matter of fact, every aspect of the nation should be considered as a whole to assess the greatness of such a country. Take American, for instance, few people will refuse to recognize its greatness as its considerable achievements and wide influence in today's world. Although it receives many criticisms after Iraq War, it is still a powerful nation that leads the development of human. And when we take a close look to it, we will find that freedom, fairness, equity and other good characteristics in the society make contribution to its greatness. If we only consider its general welfare of its people, we will hardly to make such conclusions mentioned above.

To sum up, I concede that the speaker's claim that the general welfare of its people is a good indictor to evaluate a nation's greatness. Nontheless, this issue overrates the weightiness of it. In the final analysis, the true greatness, in my point of view, should consider every aspect into account and thus decide whether the nation is great or not.
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沙发
发表于 2012-2-3 21:41:43 | 只看该作者
最后一段里,weightless 应该用weight.
板凳
发表于 2012-2-3 23:38:28 | 只看该作者
Explosive development of sicence (science) and technology has been made during the past one hundred years or so, and led to >the< booming of many nations. When it comes to the indicator of a great nation, there are always a host of different opinions held by different individuals from different areas.  Does the general welfare of the nation's people, you may wonder, be the surest indicator of a great nation?  Admittedly, most people would consider that the living standard of its people will definitely represent the nation's prosperity. However, it (there) is not so much evidence that shows this must be the case, and we should evaluate a nation from every aspect, not only the general welfare or the achievements of its rulers, artits (artists) or scientists, but also other components like the influence of such a nation and both its traditional and modern culture.

Actually, the general welfare of its people takes an important role to enhance the nation's prosperity, which shows that the living standard of its people is quite good and hence improve(s) the happiness of these (its) people. It is well known that a lot of people are satisfied living in  many European countries as these countries provide considerable good infrastructures, education and medical insurance, all of which make the life of its people comfortable. Yet when we consider a great nation, these countries' names will not bump into our mind, as there are no such significant achievements or influnce (influence) made by these countries and therefore people from other nations can not easily recognize their greatness.

Nevertheless, for most nations, the achievements and (replace AND with COMMA) influnce (influence) and the nation's culture are more relevant to its greatness in (omit, IN) nowadays. Consider China, for example, no nation has received more praise and abuse than this country in today's world.  No one will absolutely assert that China is not a great nation competed with other great nations. The development of China during last there (do you mean THREE??) decades is rocketing, which results in a great number of significant achievements, as booming economy, powerful militery (military), and space technology, made by China, though the general welfare of the society is not so (as) good as other nations'. Additionally, more and more people now will choose Chinese to be their extra language so that they can know (learn) its great culture and history. Viewed in this fashion, no one would deny that the importance of other aspects of the nation to be a good way to evaluate a nation.

As a matter of fact, every aspect of the nation should be considered as a whole to assess the greatness of such a country. Take American (America), for instance, few people will refuse to recognize its greatness as its considerable achievements and wide influence in today's world. Although it receives many criticisms after >the< Iraq War, it is still a powerful nation that leads the development of human(s). And when we take a close look to (at) it, we will find that freedom, fairness, equity and other good characteristics in the society make contribution to its greatness. If we only consider its general welfare of its people, we will hardly to make such conclusions mentioned above.

To sum up, I concede that the speaker's claim that the general welfare of its people is a good indictor (indicator) to evaluate a nation's greatness. Nontheless (Nonetheless), this issue overrates the weightiness of it. In the final analysis, the true greatness, in my point of view, should consider every aspect into account and thus decide whether the nation is great or not.

VERY well written! Congrats!
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