新I-100 求拍出国留学

a273007862 · 发表于 2012-1-18 13:01:41

出国留学
100Colleges and universities should require their students to spend at least one semester studying in a foreign country.

写作要求：

Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position.

提纲：部分同意

1反面：有的学生不适合出国。不能适应生活，想家；心理承受挫折;给家庭添加负担；导致地区教育恶化

2正面：出国成为潮流

3正面：结交朋友；丰富知识，扩展眼界

The speaker would prefer to assert that there must be a great chance to study in a foreign country for the students at least one semester. To agree or disagree with it is a matter of balancing between its pros and cons. In my point of view this extreme position misses the point entirely. I agree insofar as studying abroad is good for students in their research lives. An the same time, however, the colleges and universities should have some freedom to the students as they see fit, thus optional approaches would be served in the colleges and universities; otherwise, studying abroad might erode its own purposes in the long term.

Studying in a foreign country would pose some certain problems. In the first place, by providing their students with foreign study, some students would not adapt to the new environment and may miss their families too much to concentrate their energies when they do some experiments. In additional, they may feel lonely, even frustrate, in an unfamiliar country. In the meanwhile, there may be very stressful because the student may compete with the other students who know the language of the classroom and are accustomed to expectations that the professors have for his students. Thirdly, even to a well-adapted student, it spend much money for learning abroad, and increasing the family burden. Finally, this implement will exacerbate the education competingodds between the developed urban schools and the unwell-developed rural schools.

However, studying in a foreign country would be beneficial to their students in a colleges and universities. With the advent of globalization, the trendy of learning abroad attracts more and more students, even their parents. With the pressure of obtaining employing, learning abroad may increase weight to compete with the one who has only studying in the native country. If one study in a foreign country, it may stimulate his or her potential, no matter on psychological or physical, on their contemporaries.

Secondly, learning abroad provides many opportunities and challenges. When the student study abroad, he or she looks forward to make friends, as well as a new method to observe the new perspectives quarterly. By getting to know people, the student may improve his or her English language proficiency. It also have more chance to developed their interpersonal communication skills. In the other hand, there are advanced researches that are the best learned within the native professors.

To sum up, although I admit that there are some disadvantages of studying in a foreign country, I still think that the advantages of it are more obvious. But the school should keep one principle that learning abroad is not suit for every student. The colleges and universities should enact different schemes to each student to judgment whether the one may adjust to the unfamiliar surroundings.

字数：469

英语一直不好，作文写的也是一塌糊涂，希望大家多提点意见，还有一个月就考了，才开始写作文……

jz20000cn · 发表于 2012-1-18 21:49:20

可以把两个正面的放在一起。我觉得你英文很好。

jz20000cn · 发表于 2012-1-18 21:51:58

还有，你更强调的是优点，可以把缺点放前面，然后用however转折。作文高分主要跟逻辑论证相关，跟英语水平关系不是特别大。

lukebrehm · 发表于 2012-1-18 23:04:38

1. in so far NOT insofar
2. Studying in a foreign country would pose some certain problems. ---VS--- Studying in a foreign country could pose some problems.
3. concentrate their energies when they do some experiments. ---VS--- concentrate their energies on their studies.
4. In additional, they may feel lonely, even frustrate, in an unfamiliar country. ---VS--- In addition, they may feel lonely or even frustrated in an unfamiliar country.
5. In the meanwhile, there may be very stressful because the student may compete ---VS--- Meanwhile, it may be very stressful because some students may have to compete
6. it spend much money for learning abroad, and increasing the family burden. ---VS--- it costs a lot of money to learn abroad and could increase the family burden.
7. competing odds NOT competingodds
8. unwell-developed ---VS--- less developed

I wont go any further, but I think you can get the idea. Mostly just some small things that you need to pay attention to but overall I liked it a lot and thought it was a very convincing argument.

great job

a273007862 · 发表于 2012-1-19 20:30:27

呵呵谢谢开始的时候我也是准备这么写的先写好的然后在写不好的但是写完第一段突然发现第一段的最后一句说的是缺点为了更有逻辑我就先写的缺点呵呵以后我会注意改进的再谢谢你哦~~以后欢迎多拍哦~~

a273007862 · 发表于 2012-1-19 20:31:45

谢谢有很多的小错误也是一直没有重视~~欢迎多拍哦~~使劲拍~~嘿嘿~~

lukebrehm · 发表于 2012-1-19 21:53:41

haha, you did good though. Write more

a273007862 · 发表于 2012-1-23 21:53:26

我看北美范文上都是写的insofar 我查了下字典也有分开的in so far 到底哪个是对的呀？很迷糊~~呵呵

lukebrehm · 发表于 2012-1-24 19:09:22

Here is a definition I guess you can write it that way if you want to...

Insofar

The adverb insofar, meaning to such an extent, is one word in American and Canadian English. It’s usually three words, in so far, in British and Australian English—though the one-word version is gaining ground.

In many cases, the wordy and formal-sounding phrase insofar as could be replaced with a shorter alternative. Even the three-word as far as is shorter (in syllables) and usually more natural-sounding than insofar as.

[issue] 新I-100 求拍出国留学

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[issue] 新I-100 求拍出国留学