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[作文互改] 求批改 issue 82

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发表于 2011-12-10 21:49:03 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
Issue"eople's attitudes are determined more by their immediate situation or surroundings than

by any internal characteristic."

People’s attitudes are determined more by their immediate situation or surroundings than by any internal characteristic, as the speaker asserts?Admittedly, the immediate situation or surroundings plays a tremendously important role in determining the people’s attitude, but we cannot ignore the internal characteristics that are also considerably vital for us. At a balance, I tend to partly agree this point of view.

Admittedly, It goes without saying that the immediate situation or surrounding, which include both the person and the object factors, must and do rest a huge impact on the attitude of someone since most of us has a tendency to follow others whoever, we think, has the value and meaning to emulate. This point of view can be illustrated by a example. When we are a student, if the grade or other ability relates to learn and use in the common days, it is highly possible that we will take the others whose grade and the ability are superior to ourselves as the paradigm and set a goal for ourselves. Consider, if somebody whose grades and all other abilities are inferior to others, he or she will have the sense that I cannot be belittled by others so he or she will try every means to improve himself in some fields. On the other hand, if some locates a situation that most of the other members like the passion and enthusiasm to study, there is a likelihood that he will give up or follow the others since he fails to search a example to erect. Accordingly, the immediately situation or the surroundings, or we can define as the external factors, plays an immensely significant effect on the people’s attitude.

However, it is also singularly vital for the internal characteristic for determining the attitudes since the human beings are the combination of the object which be affected by the internal and external factors. To make this viewpoint more convincing and explicit, we can classify the people to two kinds , the one kind is those people who are easily affected by the others and the other kind is those people who have the deep belief or faith that cannot affect by the external factors. The illustration to support this point of view involves the famous scientists. A vivid example is not difficult to search, let us take the Stephen Hawking as an example, Hawking, whose reputation can be compete with the Einstein and is one of the most famous scientist in the contemporary society. He always believes that the universe is bigger than what we ever thought, and he also claims that there is still possible that there are the planet which fit the human to live and there is highly possibility that there are aliens in this world though we have not find them. It is just the faith that renders him to strive for finding the aliens in spite of the suspect and criticism of others.

Moreover, it is immensely irrational to contend that it is the external factors that affect the attitude of people more important than the internal factors. In my point of view, either of the both can be ignored and eliminated, it is unfit for the speaker to compare the importance of the factors regardless which kind of them is belong to.

In the final analysis, both the external and the internal factors are considerably vital for determining the attitude of the people. I would, nevertheless, caution that extending one of the propositions to a extreme might give rise to a detrimental impact on us for recognizing the inherent value.




写得最后超时了,所以后面写的有点简单了,没有写好,望各位提提意见。谢谢。
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沙发
发表于 2011-12-11 02:35:47 | 只看该作者
先顶后拍!
板凳
发表于 2011-12-11 08:12:46 | 只看该作者
我觉得这篇作文应该更focus在两者的比较上。因为题目也没有完全否认内在原因的影响。我觉得第二段有点太长,应该着重论述内在原因的重要作用。而且这个题目最好不要用partly accept。这是个很明确的是非题,他说外在原因更重要, 我们要么同意要么不同意。
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