今天限时练习的AA&AI,求各路高手拍砖

leoskychou · 发表于 2010-11-9 11:27:26

额，下周五考试，今天限时练习了一篇AA一篇AI，都是寂静上的题目，小妹不才，写的作文可能废话连篇，语法错误众多，还希望各位大虾们帮帮忙，稍微批改下，小妹感激不尽

先贴AA：
这个是题目，貌似在题库没找到：
A local chain Greentree Grocers has been experiencing high sales volume but decreasing profit margin. Its customers are wealthy people looking for gourmet food and luxury shopping experience, so it must cut costs without hurting the customers' shopping experience. So it plans to lay off 10 employees per store and eliminate expensive displays and free samples. In addition, it will partner with Cabaree Coffee Cafe to have a coffee shop in each store. This is supported by a recent survey that the Grocers and the Cafe attract similar types of customers. The conclusion is that Greentree Grocers will experience high sales volume as well as high profit margin.

思路：
1. The fact that the Greentree Grocer plans to lay off employees and eliminate expensive display and free samples cannot guarantee that the Greentree Grocer can increase its profit margin.
2. The survey mentioned in the argument above is doubtful. It fails to offer detailed information about how the survey conducted, who responded and how many people were involved in the survey.
3. Even if the survey is reliable, that the Grocer plans to partner with Cabaree Café may not help the Grocer to gain high sales volume as well as high profit margin.

作文：
In this argument, the author provides a local chain, Greentree Grocer’s plan of increasing its profit margin and the author concludes that if the local chain could execute this plan, the Green Grocer will experience high sales volume as well as high profit margin. This argument appears to be reasonable at the first glance. However, the argument suffers some critical flaws. The main flaws of the argument should be discussed respectively.
In the first place, the author unfairly assumes that Greentree Grocer’s plan of laying off employees and eliminating display and free samples could guarantee that the chain will cut costs without hurting consumers’ shopping experience. First, after laying off a number of the employees in the store, there will not be enough people to provide enough services for the customers and thus hurting the customers’ shopping experience. Second, the increased profits will not offset the cost of eliminating displays and free samples.
Secondly, the survey mentioned in the arguments is doubtful. It fails to offer detailed information about how the survey was conducted, who responded and how many people were involved in the survey. Without the details, any conclusion based on this survey is doubtful. Therefore, the survey cannot support the conclusion of the argument.
Finally, even if the survey is reliable, the fact that the Grocer plans to partner with Cabaree Café may not help Greentree Grocer to gain high sales Volume as well as high profit margin. The fact that the Café and Greentree Grocer attracts similar types of customers cannot guarantee Greentree’s higher profit margin. Moreover, the author fails to consider other factors that can help the Greentree Grocer to achieve its goal.
In conclusion, this argument, while seemingly well-supported at first, has several flaws as discussed above. Hence it is unacceptable and not persuasive as it stands. It could be substantiate by providing more detailed information and considering other factors to achieve the goal. Accordingly, only with more logical reasoning could this argument be more than just an emotional appeal.

leoskychou · 发表于 2010-11-9 11:28:06

再来AI

24“A powerful business leader has far more opportunity to influence the course of a community or a nation than does any government official.”

思路：
View 1: A successful business leader can make his business quite large so that he can have influence on almost every aspect of the citizens’ lives through dominating the market.
View 2: A business leader could influence the actual acts of social organizations through donating moneys.
View 3: A business leader’s influence extends all the way from electoral processes to actual acts of goverment

作文：
As is well known and has been often described, a powerful business leader is more likely than a government official to have great influence on the course of a community or a nation. In my point of view, I agree with this speaker. There are many instances below that could help support my view.
On one hand, a successful business leader can make his business quite large so that he can have influence on almost every aspect of the citizens’ lives through dominating the market. A particular example for this is the P&G. The P&G began its business with floating soap and then expanded its business into almost every aspects of our daily life. Its products range from soap bars to toothpaste and Shampoos to bath foam. Almost every day, we cannot live without the products of P&G. Under this circumstance, it is obvious that the P&G has dominated the market and thus has great influence on our daily life.
On the other hand, a success business leader can influence the actual acts of some social organizations through donating money. The universities need funds from the businesses. The churches need money from the donors. The non-profit organizations also need capital from the society. The funds needed by the social organizations usually come from the successful business leaders. Hence it is also obvious that the business leaders could greatly influence the society.
Moreover, a business leader’s influence extends all the way from electoral processes to actual acts of government. The most obvious example must be the election of the President in the United States. Besides the citizens’ support, the candidates must raise money and gain support for the businesses, or the candidate will not achieve his goal. In addition, even after the election, the new president is also influences by the big businesses. When considering a new policy, the president has to take into consideration whether the policy will harm the economy, or in other words, the profits of the big businesses.
Consequently, is is not easy for us to draw a conclusion that a powerful business leader has far more opportunity to influence the course of a community or a nation than does any government official. The business leaders could influence the society through dominating the market, donating money for the social organizations and influencing the political processes.

leoskychou · 发表于 2010-11-9 11:28:29

自己顶一下，希望各位大侠帮个忙啊，万分感谢

今天限时练习的AA&AI,求各路高手拍砖

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